Now I'm doubting my actions as being remorseful. I know Ive been on the floor literally with the pain of what I have done to my BH .
Remorse is never about how much pain "we" have. Remorse is about taking action to care for the person we've hurt or injured. In this case it would be about showing compassion, and care. It would be about living a transparent lifestyle that protects your spouse above all else.
Remorse is not about shame and guilt either.
It is good to talk about a future together, but not at the expense of actions that will demonstrate your care and your love. Both good conversation and real action are necessary for a recovery to occur. Neither is manipulative.
Some of what you are voicing is no more than self pity. And marital recovery from adultery has no room for self pity. Self pity can actually cause a wayward to feel like a victim. As I was told, it's a luxury I cannot afford.
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin