I've been lurking on here for a couple weeks now when I found out my SO (of 16 years) has been having an affair. D-Day was April 18-I found on his computer left open there were several messages from a woman then I found a specific file folder named for this woman with pages of emails. I opened a couple, I seen all I needed too. Not much but enough. I confronted him and got she lives on the west coast, he doesn't know her etc. Then a few days later I found out more lies. He went to a "sex" website (Shagaholic) to start to meet/chat. He claimed it was a joke, him and guys at work were doing this. Again I found this out, he never came clean until after I confronted. Then I found a few more lies. Now last week I found he met her after April 18 and met her on May 7. He says nothing happened, they met so she could give him "sex" advice on websites on how to improve our relationship.
I feel so empty. The first time around I was sick, when I found out last week I was sick. Now I donít really feel anything. Heís still in the house. I got the whole he wants it to work, heís sorry, heíll do whatever it takes. However, yesterday I asked him some more questions and he got defensive and said ďitís like you donít want us to workĒ and I responded ďyouíre right, I told you to leave and you havenít left yet and right now Iím not sure what I wantĒ.
Our relationship was not in a good place prior to finding all this out. Since finding this TT out, we have been more open and communicating a lot better. I kept pressing him for info and did some researching which is how I got him to finally tell me that he met her. Yep she doesnít live on the west coast.
Anyways, Iím all over the place. I know most of you have been thru the infidelity before and for each situation itís different. But how did you know you got the whole truth? Did you have that gut feeling you knew the truth or maybe you still donít know the whole truth and are fine with it?