Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Makeitstop85 (44953)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: on the relationship homefront
eyenight
♀ Member
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Things in the relationship front are moving a long nicely. Bf asked me to help decorate his place like pick out furniture and stuff. He said eventually I would be moving in. Then he asked me to move in. I have to put that on hold since I'm in the middle of my lease but I think I can get out if it. Pretty much I'll have to get someone to take over my lease with management approval.
Last night bf muttered something under his breath. If I heard correctly. It was Im in love with you. I am totally taken by surprise.
Bf daughter is coming to live with him in a few months. He freaked out aut it a little. I told him I'm fine wth it. After she gets to know me I have no problem doing girlie stuff with her. Eve I

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2013
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you're excited but I have to admit it worries me that you don't even mention your son in this post.

Blending families is very challenging and not to be taken lightly.

Why is your BF freaked out about his daughter coming to live with him?

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:30 PM, June 28th (Friday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17392 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
eyenight
♀ Member
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not worried about son at all they get along great. Bf takes son out once a week to do guy stuff. Son loves it.
Bf daughter is a little bit of a trouble maker. But what 16 year old isn't. She's had it a little rough. The x wife is doing a lot of time in jail and daughter has been living with grandparents until bf could get things undercontrol. Its going to take time for daughter to adjust and stuff .

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2013
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK, so your plan is to introduce your little guy into a potentially toxic living situation with a potentially hostile teen who has been exposed to some fairly intense bad parenting.

It's one thing to have BF take him out to do guy stuff, and quite another to live with everyone together under one roof.

What's your work schedule like? Who is going to be doing the child care when you're not there? Is the daughter getting counselling at all?

If I were you I'd be thinking about all of this very carefully. It's way more than just breaking a lease.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17392 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blending families is not easy under the best of circumstances. Throw a troubled teenager in the mix, and it makes it extremely challenging. Definitely take it slow.

If this guy is for real, he will understand and realize how important it is that he take on only one huge life change at a time.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time, especially when there are kids involved.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
eyenight
♀ Member
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I work 2nd shift. I am actually keeping my sitter and sending my son there on days I work. The daughter isn't as bad as he made it sound. I got him to clarify troubled. I.guess she's a.straight.a.student. from what he has said she isn't troubled just the.situation she's in now is.troubled.
I'm not planning on.moving.in for a while. It's.months away.
I told him that she needs to get settled in first and slowly have my son and I integrate into the mix. Which he agrees with. I told him we need to do this moving in thing carefully. There is going to be 2 kids in the house which are 12 years a part. If its not done right the daughter might resent my son and me because she will think she's being pushed away or taken frogranted and being replaced.

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2013
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy for you that you've started a new relationship with a caring man. He sounds a bit assumptive that you will move in though.

You have had such a rocky time, and had to live in less than ideal situations, I wish for you and your son a period of stability and independence while you very slowly work things out w the new guy. What about taking a whole year for your relationship to grow before all the inter-dependence of living together?


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5825 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in the middle of my lease but I think I can get out if it. Pretty much I'll have to get someone to take over my lease with management approval.

eyenight, this ^^^ is what you initially said. That implied that you were going to try and do this asap.

Glad to hear you're going to take your time.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17392 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He hasn't looked you in the eye and told you he loves you, but asked you to move in?


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Topic Posts: 9

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.