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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What I want
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was talking with a friend tonight and I don't remember how the topic evolved to this but I think the conversation helped me verbalize what I want. He said it perfectly...I want a partner. For the longest time I begged STBX to be my KISA like he was for OW. I don't want a knight. You know why? Because I don't need saving. There is nothing about me that needs to be saved. I am not worthless. I don't need him to ride up on his horse and show me what I'm worth. I know what I'm worth. And I don't want a knight...I want a partner that can share in my worth as I share in his. I want a partner who works with me, for us. There are the general things that are needed...similar likes, dislikes, morals, goals, etc. And not telling another woman he loves her (that would be a biggie ) or the other stuff you only share with a wife...but I digress.

Obviously, I'm not saying I'm going to go write an OLD profile right now. This is future talk. In the past I always said he defined me. He made me who I was. It's never been true. If I was who he wanted me to be, I'd be posting in Recon and still hoping he would change...that maybe I could love him into changing. I had it wrong....I had to love me into changing.

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 1:13 AM, June 28th (Friday)]


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:20 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you TCD.

The future is looking bright


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1308 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah...once you realize how someone has been bringing you down, it makes the future seem very bright. Even though STBX and I had so much in common, I really see how superficial it was compared to how he wanted to treat my soul and who I was as a person.

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 9:28 AM, June 28th (Friday)]


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4994 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TCD)))

I think this is my favorite post of yours ever.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You mean the swallowing weirdly and getting bread up my nose and in my sinuses...then having to blow bread out of my nose wasn't your favorite? Hahaha.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amen girl. My mantra for dating is that I don't need a savior, and I don't want to save anyone else. It's all about support and love and respect. I agree this is one of my favorite posts of yours ever, well, since I seemed to have missed the bread being blown out of your nose one.


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2063 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I don't think I read that one. I have to say if I had it would probably be my second favorite.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't worry. Really dumb things seem to happen to me but are really entertaining for others. Something else will come up to share.

Took the kids to the beach today and managed to bring all three back alive so I'm feeling good about being on my own, too. I've always been the primary caretaker and mostly all by myself. But some things are more difficult to do by myself. I just need to be prepared.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

<<round of applause>>

I want someone who values and respects themselves as much as I value and respect myself. The rest will all fall into place.

I too don't need saving nor do I need to be completed.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5527 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 10

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