Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: whatdoido21 (45321)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: First IC and feeling decent
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had my first IC appointment last night. So far I like her. I liked her demeanor and what little she had to say. Obviously since it was the first session I did most of the talking. I just hope I didn't give the impression that I don't need therapy because of the place I have come to, my understanding of the why's, and how I feel about myself. I think it would just be a good idea to have support when I need it. I know there will be highs and lows and I want to have an IC there for the lows. The one thing I liked a lot was that she was focusing on me and not on Jerkface. She wants to work on what is in my head and my reactions to it.

Overall, I feel pretty good. My only real struggle now is how this will effect the kids and not wanting to hurt them. But being detached from him feels pretty damn good. It feels awesome to believe the list of good attributes about myself...the one I made when I was still questioning why and how he could have done this. The list that he made me feel was an abosolute lie and I was just worthless. I don't feel worthless. And really, he was the one who made me feel like the great person I am by consistently showing me what an awful person he is. It feels good not to fight, too. Even though I say maybe 2 sentences to him a day. It doesn't bother me. I do find myself talking to myself more though...probably have to change that into an internal dialogue before people think I'm insane!


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Pippy
♀ Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a firm believer that the spoken word is the best stress reliever of all.

In my case I went to group couseling and they were life savers. Now I must go make a list of my attributes. I'm betting it will be so much better than what I would've written before my D. Thanks!


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like she understands what you need - if she were to think you didn't need therapy, it would be in context of focusing on your STBX, rather than on you. She is focusing on you.

IC is a great place to process, but it's also a great place to develop realistic and healthy plans for dealing with very immediate issues that arise - like how to ensure that this is a smooth and healthy transition for your kids.

Are they (the kids) in IC as well? Have you thought about looking for one for them if not?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13791 | Registered: Jul 2011
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At this point I don't believe they know what is going on. The baby obviously has no clue. The older two have seen us fight. According to STBX, the oldest has asked him why we fight so much and it we were getting divorced (she has never said anything to me). I will definitely get the the oldest into IC when the time comes. She is very intelligent and very emotional. I know she won't handle this well.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.