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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Zombie Attack!!!
hatefulnow
♂ Member
Member # 35603
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife and I are in a better place than we were a couple of months ago. Night and day. However, we both have our moments. During my anger phase I was trying to hurt her any way I could. Never laid a hand on her but with my words I can be like Conan the Barbarian. Not proud of it but it is what is is...or was. Anyway, we were discussing my anger (I do have an issue...foo) and why I was so vicious. I could have turned it around and said she was the vicious one having a multi-year affair on us, but I went a different route. I asked her about zombies. She's into that stuff. I said a spouse who is in an affair is like a zombie. They may look like the person you've loved and trusted and shared with all these years, but at that time they're trying to rip you apart like fresh baked bread. You have no choice but to go all out and put them down. Somehow she got what I was saying. Fortunately, in this case, we found a cure to the zombie virus. Just sayin'.

Posts: 119 | Registered: May 2012
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear the she understood your message, but I feel that your message rug sweeps your anger and the act of viciousness. I guess I feel it would explain why you felt you needed to do it but I don't feel that justifies your actions and nullifies the need to address them for the strength of your R. Maybe there is more that isn't in what you wrote but this is how it came off as I read it.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51469 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
twodoves
♀ Member
Member # 39181
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a lot of anger towards my WH as well. I've said things to him that have been cruel.

I think it stems from wanting him to hurt as much as I do, but I know that's not possible.


Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December

Posts: 160 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Illinois
heartbroken2012
♀ Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like your analogy that the WS is like a zombie...


They may look like the person you've loved and trusted and shared with all these years, but

but you are right...they are not. I dont feel that the man that I am with is the same one that I married and knew. Its like learning to love the new person.


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 544 | Registered: Jan 2013
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I said a spouse who is in an affair is like a zombie. They may look like the person you've loved and trusted and shared with all these years, but at that time they're trying to rip you apart like fresh baked bread. You have no choice but to go all out and put them down.

I *LOVE* this imagery. I am in a rather odd mood so maybe it's just me but THIS will be added to my arsenal of imagery learned on SI. I am a photographer, so *VERY* visual by nature. This, un-fucking the donkey and OW being a turd I flush down the toilet are top 3 now ;-)


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 750 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Tesa
♀ Member
Member # 10002
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wrote this in my journal in 2010.

"Sometimes you wonder where your life is going. One day, what you thought was your life, is turned upside down. For some it takes months...years to get a new life that has meaning to it, others spend the rest of their lives trying to find this new life. Whatever the case is - we are never the same. Sleepless nights add up, while you wonder "Why" this has happened to you. You question the existence of God, and rationalize to yourself that God would never let you hurt like this or let your children be affected by this...so God does not exist in your mind.
The hardest part in dealing with all this is time. When you go to bed you think about it, and it's the first thing that comes to mind when you wake up. So many questions with tangled answers, and you realize that some questions just don't have answers. The past cannot be changed, but yet it lives with you in the present. Many times you feel as though your feet are in quicksand and you can't move forward at all. There are times when you feel that you have moved on, but then find yourself at the end of the day holding back the tears, and just shaking your head in disbelief for all the things that have happened.

You miss the sound of their voice even when you're fighting, and you realize like everything else in your life - nothing makes sense anymore. What you thought would never happen to you...did, and you realize that what you grew up being instilled in you - was just a fairy tale. Three letters in a certain order are the crux of your life now..."Why". This slowly becomes a subconscious mantra for you. The memories never seem to fade, and you hold onto them even when you know that it hurts you not to let go. You remember the person as who they were when they were with you, and not who they are now. For some reason your mind will never acknowledge nor accept that this person to you now is a stranger...a stranger who you had built your life around...a stranger who now hurt your heart and soul. A stranger that walks around in your love’s body.

You know that time heals all wounds but the truth you learn is that you are scarred. The person you were before is not the same, just as the stranger you love is no longer real. You must be strong and go on; all the while you know that you will never be the same. Sometimes you just live for the next day and sometimes you find hope that one day you will break free and love again."

I wrote this in July, two months after he moved out and one month after my dad passed away.

We were pretty much in complete NC mode. When my dad passed, I reached out to him in email but got only cryptic replies. I was so very hurt and lost in July of 2010. The night after I wrote this, I typed it up and sent it to WSO. Several days later he replied that he had to re-read it several times because each time he cried. He told me that he was so very lost and hurt too.

It wasn't right away, actually it was months later, but we made it back together.

[This message edited by Tesa at 12:18 PM, June 26th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1059 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 6

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