I met with the counselor today. She met with me before she met with the kids so that she could get some background on our situation.
It was such a relief to see how an objective professional felt about XWH's actions. I was afraid that she'd try to tell me about how I needed to "rise above" my situation and be friendsies with XWH and the OW for the sake of the kids. Once she heard the circumstances, though, she was appalled and understood why I felt so strongly about keeping my life separate from theirs and why we'd never be friends. Not one person I've shared this with has ever disagreed with my actions, but most people online as well as IRL have some sort of emotional connection to my situation-- either they are my loved ones or they are people who have been crushed by infidelity (of course, the counselor could very well have been cheated on, so I can't say for sure that she was completely objective). However, I can't tell you how great it made me feel-- I walked out of there feeling lighter, especially since I know that the kids and I are getting some much-needed professional help, and the kids really liked her.
One other thing-- she said that her first impression of the kids was that they seem very mature and happy. That was also really nice to hear. She'll be working with each of them more closely in the upcoming weeks, but I was glad that she had a positive feeling about our first meeting with her.
Now, I just need some mojo for my annual mammogram for tomorrow!