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User Topic: Wandering eyes
Blameitontherain
♀ Member
Member # 37476
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am angry that we can't go to pool or waterpark as a family. I will flip my shit if I see WH checking out other women. WH knows he has a problem.

In the past, I have noticed WH looking at other woman. Super obvious and disrespectful to me and them. I get that he has eyes and can't unsee only woman. I always calmed myself by saying it doesn't, matter. He picked me, not them etc. now that I know this isn't true, I just can't handle it if I see it happening again. He did it at the mall a couple of months ago and it instantly triggered a bad mood. I just wanted to get out of there. I felt trapped. The kids were with us. I couldn't speak up.

I don't want the kids to have restrictions on places. Just another way infidelity has permeated into my life. Nothing positive, all negative.


Posts: 273 | Registered: Nov 2012
trumanshow
♀ Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could have written this- mine didn't just look or stare. He ogled-like he had been at sea and hadn't seen a woman in months. Very disrespectful


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1657 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have had huge fights over this. And the oogling didn't start until the day before his first affair started. I have no idea why they do this and i wish a guy would weigh in on this. I call him on it every time and its gone down a lot but who knows what is happening when I'm not with him.

Mine also said for the first 20 years of our marriage he'd see a girl on the beach and think what he'd like to do to her. Nice way to wreck the memories of those vacations honey. Our MC said lilooking is ok but the minute it goes to fantasy is big trouble....

[This message edited by rachelc at 2:01 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 47
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace."


Posts: 3627 | Registered: Dec 2010
brokensunflower
♀ Member
Member # 38674
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my WH is the same way I have noticed him looking & he will tell me he doesn't try to he tries not to look .. he tells me im his only girl .. I call bullshit you can control where your eyes go.. I have slot of self esteem issues right now since his affair .. sighs .. we just gotta keep breathing


me 32
him 32
5 wonderful kids 12 yrs 8 yrs 5 yrs 4 yrs and 2 yrs ..and new baby
married 10 years together for 12 yrs
working on R

my give a damn is busted


Posts: 188 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, yes, this could have been written about Perv/Happy Pants. I wish I knew 20 years ago to consider it a red flag, but I do now.

He would get intensely angry if I mentioned to him or tried to say that it hurt my feelings-it wrecked me emotionally and I am already insecure about how I look. I have the "Ugly Duckling" syndrome in my family already.

During false R, he was retracing our marriage and only taking out the parts that were about him and any little negative thing. He remembered overheard conversations from 20 f'ing years ago, where we would go out with friends or relatives before DD came and he heard me and a friend talk about.

Did he apologize? No, he got very, very angry. He feels actually entitled to this and do you know what? During false R, he told me it's my lousy self-esteem problem and most every man does it.

He also told me, while he was "away", that I should go to a bar or two and get myself looked at so that it would perk up my ego?

I'm sorry, but I have never been a person who's ego gets happy by being looked at-in fact, it makes me check my buttons! Or think I have food on my face!

And no, I don't believe that "every man" does it. My father didn't~

During false R it got really, really bad and I suspect he got used to some serious single-life freedom after he abandoned us. He made an arguement in a restaurant and almost had me tell him to leave during our celebratory dinner of being reconcilliated, it was terrible.

A relative said one day after, she wondered if OW was in the area following him and was looking for her? He would get engrossed in groups of girls or women and go so far as to fade out of a conversation DD or I were trying to have with him.

It got so I worked to make plans only at our house or relatives so that I could avoid the situations and feelings.


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 2:22 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine doesn't stare in front of me but he disrespects me by leaving me standing like a dumbass while he talks to women in our kids sports league. He doesn't introduce me to them and it pisses me off. Or he will talk about something personal in their life and when I ask how the hell he knew that, he'll say, oh last week when you weren't here she was talking to me about it. I always feel like he has these rflationships with women who wouldnt know he had a wife if they didn't see me. In fact one mom whose daughter was on the team for a whole season saw my DD sitting on my lap and said, oh are you DD mom? Hmm I didn't know ws was married.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates
Status..%&$#@?$

Posts: 3951 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 6

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