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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Empowering?
brokenk
♀ Member
Member # 30193
Content  Posted: 9:46 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me start by saying I'm sorry. This website gave me so much strength and support when I needed it the most and the rest of the world turned their back because they just don't understand. You all were here for me and I have stayed away from here mostly because I didn't need you. But when something I think is truly empowering happens I just had to come back and hopefully make someone smile and feel hope. Because I remember hope was the one thing I really needed back then.

This morning I woke up and remembered I had a connection I needed to approve in Linkedin. So I logged in to approve it and saw new people had seen my profile so of course I look to see who. Low and behold it's the girl DH had the last affair with. The "worst" of them all only because it was the only one that became physical and that she pretended to be friends with me to get closer to him all while she was married as well...

And you know what? After almost three years and seeing that little picture link (one from her wedding day how old is that?) it didn't anger me or upset me in anyway. Instead I sat there shocked and then I laughed. Wow. I haven't thought about her in awhile and could care less what she is doing or what she's up to. And that was a big shock to me. For the longest time I obsessed over her and how someone could be so low, I watched as she moved onto her next victim and her husband just denied it and stood behind her. And here she was, almost three years later and it's me who occupies her mind? LOL That was just too funny to me. Good. I'm happy, we are happy and the fact that she can't effect me anymore means that she has no power. She's truly nothing.

It doesn't feel like it now, I know, but someday the only thing that will matter again is the love you and your spouse have for each other. The only difference now is that I KNOW it's love now. Be strong, in the end it's worth it.


Me(32)- BW
Him(36)-WH Evilgeek
1st Dday 11/20/09
2nd Dday 11/20/10
Successfully R`ed.
Found out we are Pregnant 12/6/2010

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Abraham Lincoln


Posts: 568 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: California
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome post. So glad R is going well for you both.

Posts: 34770 | Registered: Mar 2011
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You don't need to apologize!! I think it's wonderful that you popped in to share your story.

Hope is catching, and I remember in the beginning especially I needed posts like this to keep me going.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17079 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great. hope I can be in a place where she means nothing



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed to read this today. Thank you.

I am 16 months out from DDay and finally had gotten to a point where I didn't think about her and she just recently contacted me and stirred the pot so to speak. So I am back to picking myself back up again.

Hey at least I know that I can keep getting up.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
brokenk
♀ Member
Member # 30193
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crazyblindsighted: I never in a million years thought I would be here again. Happy again with my husband after all he did to hurt me. Finally able to trust him and feel like he actually does love me.

It's so easy to focus on her and direct all anger there. TO let her get under your skin because she represents all that failed in your husband. But remember, you give her power. And if you don't let her bother you then she is truly the nothing she was to begin with. When we make mistakes its what we do afterwards that shows who we really are. And if she's still contacting you to stir the pot she is truly nothing. Focus on your WH and on what he's doing now and forget her. Remember, she was easy to throw away, you take work, effort and all the love he can manage. And you are worth all of it.


Me(32)- BW
Him(36)-WH Evilgeek
1st Dday 11/20/09
2nd Dday 11/20/10
Successfully R`ed.
Found out we are Pregnant 12/6/2010

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Abraham Lincoln


Posts: 568 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: California
Topic Posts: 6

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