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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Difficult Meeting today
Pudding
♀ Member
Member # 37168
Default  Posted: 2:39 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My FWH's company is hosting a conference today, which I and some of my colleagues will be attending as delegates. FWH has prominent role there , chairing panels etc. I am one of the major clients and will be expected to interact, ask questions and join actively in the debate.

This morning, we were talking about timings etc. I suddenly thought that xOW might also be there helping with the admin for the event. That made me freak. I asked him will xOW be there? And he didn't know. He said he has NC with her and therefore has no idea if she has been asked to support the event or not and I believe him.

I am now feeling panicky about it, in case she is there and what I would do. One of the NC conditions was that she never crossed my path again and that I would never have to deal with her in any situation ( she has to take herself off my company events supported by their company, so we have managed so far.) I am still scared she will be there. I think I am beyond physically attacking her ( which I might have been tempted to do a few months back), but I would feel physically sick. I am now thinking of what I might say if I see her. Would I expose her to her colleagues in front of everyone else there? That would also hurt my FWH and won't help R. I just don't see why she should be in my life at all.

FWH is going to see if he can get hold of the list of attendees from their company as well as the delegate list and see if she is going to be there, so he can warn me in advance. I might then miss the conference and stay in the office. I am making him break NC to check up on her. This is crazy!

Not really looking for answers. Just need some SI electronic hugs.


Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: UK
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am probably too late for a reply, as the time difference.

I think you are OK with him finding out. It will help you mentally prepare. Give her no time or space if she is there. You do not have to be nice, nor do you have to acknowledge her. Just excuse yourself and go someplace else, or someplace to re-compose.


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 873 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
SorrowBhindSmile
♀ Member
Member # 38139
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my goodness,how i feel your pain. I was in a similar situation of running into the OW this weekend. She, however, strategically planned it so i would run into her. UGH.

Your feelings are not crazy. The thought of any BS having to act sociable around an AP is physically sickening. I too, went into panic mode and was hysterical.

I think it is OK to have your FWH check and see if she will be there. He isn't breaking NC and contacting HER, he is checking a list. I think he is supporting you by helping you prepare for a possible encounter that may not be unavoidable. Advance warning is the best warning....far better than being blindsided and showing up and seeing her.

i see the OW on a regular basis, she lives right by me. If you can avoid the situation, awesome. Best thing you can do if you DO have to be in her presence is to hold your head high. Be strong. Dont let her make you crazy. Hold your WH hand, present a unified front. Dont give her the the time of day. Put on a brave face and let her know she didnt break you. While you may be falling apart on the inside, walk tall.

One of my favorite quotes that has given me strength thru all this is "Promise me you'll always remember You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"

You can do this. We are here for you. hugs to you.


Me: BW
Him: WH
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Married 20+
Kids: 3
D-Day 12/2012
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2013
Pudding
♀ Member
Member # 37168
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for support

OW didn't turn up and I could be me without going crazy.

Breate breathe.

Thanks for your hugsq


Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: UK
Pudding
♀ Member
Member # 37168
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for support

OW didn't turn up and I could be me without going crazy.

Breate breathe.

Thanks for your hugsq


Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 5

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