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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is this the mark of a desperate person or a happy person?
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Without going into too much detail, the kids told me a story that makes it very clear that the slunt wants to get married. So much so that she recruited one of her kids to bat her eyes and ask exWH if he would please marry her mother.

I talked to a good friend tonight who said "I've watched enough soap operas and dramatic shows to know that people use marriage or having babies as a way to try to fix something that's broken."

I don't know if that's necessarily true, but I just wonder if this is a desperate ploy or a sign that maybe these two fuck nuts really are happy despite everything else I know and believe.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2758 | Registered: Jan 2011
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that marriage between two people like that is a last-ditch attempt to validate the piss-poor choices they've made. They've broken up families, betrayed committed spouses, and behaved in a manner that most people would describe as "nuts." My friends and family still can't believe that XWH is going through with the marriage to the OW and that the OW is dragging her two little kids away from their lives to a whole new town and school to be with a guy she met on Ashley Madison.

As far as I'm concerned, it's an act of desperation, and if the union does last several years, it's only because they want so badly to prove it to the world that what they did was right. My older brother cheated on his wife and married the OW, and he knew on the honeymoon that it was a huge mistake. But, he stayed with her for SIX YEARS because he wanted to prove to himself and to the world that he hadn't royally effed up big time. We had stopped talking to him during that time because the OW was so poisonous and hateful, and he said that it was a horrid marriage. He only left her because he then found out that she was cheating on him, and that gave him the push that he needed to get out.

If your XWH and the OW were truly happy, then the OW would be treating your kids with love and kindness, and your XWH wouldn't be taking potshots at you about stupid things like your age. I don't think that any relationship borne out of such destructive and selfish decisions can do anything but ultimately consume itself in its own flame.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3572 | Registered: Oct 2011
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Desperate person.

Who uses their children to manipulate/pressure someone into marrying them? That's pathetic.


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another vote for desperate.

I think that marriage between two people like that is a last-ditch attempt to validate the piss-poor choices they've made.

Exactly..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2099 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 2:38 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes that sounds pretty desperate to me. It's sad that she has to use her own DD, and pretty low.

Fortunately in my case the OW moved to another city to be withher GF before I discovered the A. I think she shat herself when I told her GF about their A, the reality of it was just too much for her. I don't think she ever thought about being with a guy who has two small children as they clearly never came into the equation. Thankfully my children hopefully won't have to be near her.


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:41 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Desperado.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9497 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:09 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Desperate.

I told my XWH he and the OW need to get married so that while he is working hard for his family and she is a stay home mom, she can bring other men into THEIR home! LOL because that's exactly what she and my WH did to HER husband.!!!!

I have heard (small town here) that OW has a boyfriend on the side. he he he. I think people like this are so screwed up, they will just keep screwing up.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2054 | Registered: Jan 2012
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:52 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Screams desperation to me.

It's kind of like a "we'll show them all see we are truly in love, there was a reason we destroyed our lives, we are gonna be together forever we are so damn happy"


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1318 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I could attribute this to the wise SIer who said it, but I can't remember:

"They cling to their bad choices out of shame."


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20002 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Topic Posts: 9

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