Topic: Is this the mark of a desperate person or a happy person?
Member # 30853
| Posted: 10:18 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013|
Without going into too much detail, the kids told me a story that makes it very clear that the slunt wants to get married. So much so that she recruited one of her kids to bat her eyes and ask exWH if he would please marry her mother.
I talked to a good friend tonight who said "I've watched enough soap operas and dramatic shows to know that people use marriage or having babies as a way to try to fix something that's broken."
I don't know if that's necessarily true, but I just wonder if this is a desperate ploy or a sign that maybe these two fuck nuts really are happy despite everything else I know and believe.
BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 33698
| Posted: 10:30 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013|
I think that marriage between two people like that is a last-ditch attempt to validate the piss-poor choices they've made. They've broken up families, betrayed committed spouses, and behaved in a manner that most people would describe as "nuts." My friends and family still can't believe that XWH is going through with the marriage to the OW and that the OW is dragging her two little kids away from their lives to a whole new town and school to be with a guy she met on Ashley Madison.
As far as I'm concerned, it's an act of desperation, and if the union does last several years, it's only because they want so badly to prove it to the world that what they did was right. My older brother cheated on his wife and married the OW, and he knew on the honeymoon that it was a huge mistake. But, he stayed with her for SIX YEARS because he wanted to prove to himself and to the world that he hadn't royally effed up big time. We had stopped talking to him during that time because the OW was so poisonous and hateful, and he said that it was a horrid marriage. He only left her because he then found out that she was cheating on him, and that gave him the push that he needed to get out.
If your XWH and the OW were truly happy, then the OW would be treating your kids with love and kindness, and your XWH wouldn't be taking potshots at you about stupid things like your age. I don't think that any relationship borne out of such destructive and selfish decisions can do anything but ultimately consume itself in its own flame.
BS (Me) 39
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Posts: 3323 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 34525
| Posted: 11:04 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013|
Who uses their children to manipulate/pressure someone into marrying them? That's pathetic.
BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Member # 38377
| Posted: 11:13 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013|
Another vote for desperate.
I think that marriage between two people like that is a last-ditch attempt to validate the piss-poor choices they've made.
BW~ 34, Two DS~ 10 and 6
D-Day 9/2012, False R/S 10/2012, Filed D 11/2012, D Final ????
"Mama always told me that I should play nice, but she didn't know you when she gave me that advice." ~ The Band Perry
Posts: 1269 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 38424
| Posted: 2:38 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013|
Yes that sounds pretty desperate to me. It's sad that she has to use her own DD, and pretty low.
Fortunately in my case the OW moved to another city to be withher GF before I discovered the A. I think she shat herself when I told her GF about their A, the reality of it was just too much for her. I don't think she ever thought about being with a guy who has two small children as they clearly never came into the equation. Thankfully my children hopefully won't have to be near her.
Posts: 414 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Member # 32554
| Posted: 2:41 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013|
Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 8380 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 34678
| Posted: 5:09 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013|
I told my XWH he and the OW need to get married so that while he is working hard for his family and she is a stay home mom, she can bring other men into THEIR home! LOL because that's exactly what she and my WH did to HER husband.!!!!
I have heard (small town here) that OW has a boyfriend on the side. he he he. I think people like this are so screwed up, they will just keep screwing up.
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 36445
| Posted: 5:52 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013|
Screams desperation to me.
It's kind of like a "we'll show them all see we are truly in love, there was a reason we destroyed our lives, we are gonna be together forever we are so damn happy"
"You can never have too much happy!"
Posts: 1070 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
|Sad in AZ|
Member # 24239
| Posted: 8:36 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013|
I wish I could attribute this to the wise SIer who said it, but I can't remember:
"They cling to their bad choices out of shame."
I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.
Posts: 18921 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
|Topic Posts: 9|