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User Topic: if you cheat back
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

end of story he will leave..... well thanks guy!

i know that a RA is not the answer and it will be adding to problems and its vindictive and so on but idk i guess im just at a point where im like well your the do as i say not as i do type person and idk where im going with this i guess since he is fighting for our marriage so to say why wouldnt he if things were the other way around ?

i guess i feel he has no place to talk im just so angry because of all the comments through out our marriage

the who has time for an affair

there too much to risk

i dont want anyone else but you

and so on.....and i hate that he is "hot"

i know he says its the biggest mistake of his life and blah blah but F^%* he wanted to make that mistake everyone knows when they get into this its wrong and its cheating but still doesnt stop them .

he says he didnt think of me in that moment they way he should have. that when she was asked if he was married he just simply answered yes , and that no image of me came to him that he didnt think too much into her question since there was a group of ppl playing beer pong that she later followed hims and she was bold and out there to come up to him and suggest to leave together that he was beyond flattered and made a horrible mistake now hes worried i will seek validation else where!!!!


i admitted to entertaining the thought briefly but i knew it wasnt the way for me. but i hate this will forever be a tainted moment in our marriage i will never be able to say that our marriage is pure and i will never be able to say that he always wanted me . he says things no during sex" its only you and me babe" "nobody will ever come between us again" "i only want and need you" " your the only one ill ever be inside of"( that one ) but i get what hes is doing still doesnt change the fact that its not til now he realizes that all of a sudden im what he wants


he said he knew it all along and never thought of leaving or cheating that it really happened out the blue but knew i was it for him


sorry i just hate my reality because i love him so damn much and he fucked me over and now because he is changing and sorry and all that good shit im suppose to be ok ....not never will i be ok

[This message edited by huRtZ413 at 10:58 AM, June 24th (Monday)]



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
UKlady
♀ Member
Member # 39058
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

huRtZ - I really feel you are riding the fastest, scariest roller coaster none of us here ever wanted to be on right now. What you are saying I totally understand. I have had the same thoughts as you and, from what I've read, it's all very normal. You feel what you feel - there's no rights or wrongs.

I spoke to my WH just the other day about a RA as I knew I could have. In fact temptation came right out the blue only a few weeks back and yes I toyed with the idea (briefly). Ironically what really stopped me was thinking about the effect on the other BW. Knowing what I know and how it feels like I could never inflict that on another human being.

You have to sit tight and really hold on keeping yourself safe while ths roller coaster plummets down into unseen depths. Try to focus on the present and the future happy you - God I know that's hard but we have to try.

If you think your WH is really doing all he can now to fix himself and mend your relationship AND you feel there is enough love felt by you for him then hold onto that too.

I wish you the very best I really do.

(((huRtZ413)))


Me: BW 45
Him: WH 48
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
D-day: 3 January 2013 - he confessed.
A: June-Dec 2012
No children.

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He needs to stop calling it a mistake.

It was a choice..a conscious choice to have sex with this girl. Calling it a mistake,in some ways, minimizes his action and downplays the damage he's caused.

The fact that he did NOT think about cheating..but jumped at the opportunity when it presented itself is,in some ways,worse than had he thought it out.

Is he in IC to figure out why he did this?


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7679 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 3

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