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User Topic: I saw ow while out with my family
scangel3
♀ Member
Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's here at my Costco, WTH??? Ok not my personal Costco but the one we go to all the time. She's fucking here, i'm bordering between puking and hyperventilating. Its been a good weekends and now its ruined! I have never seen OW out in public except the company Christmas party 2.5 years ago. I always prepare to see her watching for her, but never really expect to since she lives in the other side of town. I sure in the hell wasn't prepared today though!!!

How do you handle seeing the AP out in public?


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
canteat
♀ Member
Member # 39636
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh, i am so sorry for you. i can only imagine the venom that you wanted to spew at her. I am new here and don't have a lot of insight but i have thought about calling or confronting the OW. The only thing that stops me is that i know i will unleash a floodgate of hatred at her. i also know that it will mean little to her. she knew my H was married she decided to tango anyway so why would she care that she hurt me? I don't want to give her the satisfaction of having her see my weakness and pain. she is not worth expressing that too. may she rot in hell and die a firey death. After or course, i kick her in the face with metal cleats on. she is worthless, and probably too stupid to know it because she allowed herself to be in an A. I mean really, how many A end with the star crossed lovers living happily ever after. she is pathetic. You are better than her, stronger than her, you don't need to sink to her level and confront her. stay strong and do something for you-that makes you feel good. and a little fantasy ass kicking (with the metal cleats-thats the important part) never hurt anyone.


Me: BW 42
Him: WH 47
Married 9 years-together 18
Dday: 6/17/2013 EA/PA(EA 1yr/PA 6mos-OW out of state)
status: Starting R 7/22/13

Posts: 151 | Registered: Jun 2013
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Frustrated  Posted: 4:41 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know because I look for her everywhere and she lives an hour away.

It's been 1.5 years and I have never seen her personally but I have thought about it a lot.

Deep breaths. Did she see you?

If my kids weren't with me I think my emotions would take over and let her have it (verbally only -- I hope) but I honestly don't know.

I am sorry. Glass of wine?

(((Hugs)))

[This message edited by 1Faith at 4:42 PM, June 23rd (Sunday)]


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1163 | Registered: Apr 2013
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw her last weekend. Thankfully, we were looking for a parking spot and saw her walking toward the entrance. My H immediately gripped the steering wheel VERY firmly with both hands and said 'we will go somewhere else'. I was a wreck for the rest of the day. We did talk about why I react that way and it helped some. I swear, if I hadn't been worried about hitting her son or denting my H's new truck, I'd have jerked the steering wheel away from him and run her over. Sorry you're dealing with that crap. It just plain sucks.

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Jan 2013
Katieisfree
♀ Member
Member # 22930
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see her all the time. Shopping for food, markets and there is a village where I don't go any more because she lives there. I stare at her with daggers and she disappears quickly.


DD 6/6/08
Sep 5/8/08
R 16/12/08

Posts: 485 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Australia
scangel3
♀ Member
Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think she saw me or my wh. She was with her daughter and BH. I actually saw her BH and daughter first and wasn't 100% sure it was them, but had that gut feeling that I have come to hate. And sure enough she walked up to them. I wanted to and scream. Luckily they were leaving, but we were eating lunch so the feeling of puking was rough. I am so glad I don't see her often. And she lives on the other side of town, but my first thought once I calmed down was, what if they moved?

I just hope to never see her again!!!


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope your shopping trip was uneventful and you survived. It's hard, but at least you got it out of the way. It does seem odd, though--is this the only Costco in your town? I lived about 3 miles away from the OW and I NEVER saw her unless we went to the pub, and I was always with the X then.

In the future, it depends on whether or not she knows who you are. If yes, just give her the skunk eye and keep walking. If no, run into her from behind with your cart, then apologize profusely


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20228 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Head up. Dont let her think youre nervous or anything except sure of hourself. If she sees you, look her directly in the eyes. If she says something to you verbally or non verbally (if ya get my drift), give no reaction.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8305 | Registered: Sep 2007
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are all sorts of prices to be paid when choosing to recover with an unfaithful spouse and this is one of them. Both my husband's APs live here. I suppose I see them about ten times a year. I guess I try to say to myself, "that's the person my husband used when he was acting out." If it gets to be too much for me or if I feel I'm compromising myself by continuing to live here ill either move or leave him.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's


Posts: 5061 | Registered: Dec 2010
Hearthache again
♀ Member
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last time I saw OW I rolled my eyes as I walked past her and said "What a whore" quietly. I hope she heard me. It was more of a disgusted kind of thing. No hate just icky. But this has more to do with all the other stuff she did besides actually having sex with my H.

I have seen her in the ladies restroom at the grocery store once and dreamed about smashing her head into the mirror. I didn't though she is not worth going to jail over. Most times I just ignore her. It gets easier as time passes.

Never have seen OW #2 yet in public. I think I saw her once and just asked H if it was her. It didn't even phase me. I could care less if I see her.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
scangel3
♀ Member
Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just starred and said "oh my God" my WH turned around to look at what I saw and said "what, what happened" I couldn't speak, I just starred looking towards the doors they walked out of. WH asked who I saw, and my kids were worried too, (they don't know anything that happened), I finally (once OW abs her BS had been gone for a couple min) got up from the table and walked off to collect myself, then came back and said "it was HER" the kids said who my wh said seriously? I said yes to answer my wh and a monster to answer my kids. My WH did really good though, he said we could leave, and comforted my shaking nerves, we didn't leave the store since OW did leave. And I explained to my kids, since they were asking, that it wasn't a real monster just someone that was really really mean to Mommy and hurt me. So now they have been telling everyone that Mommy saw a monster at the store but it got me thinking what if I ended up on a class with her at school (if she's still in school), I have avoided the campus she goes to (or went to) but won't be able to by winter term. By the time I find out who's in the class all the other classes will be full. So I better figure out some strategy just in case, my career won't be delayed because of this shit!

Thanks everyone for the support!!!


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
Topic Posts: 11

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