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Newest Member: 10yearsafter (43139)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Please analyse my smart, experienced SI friends
TOMTEFAR
♂ Member
Member # 39257
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would file for D right now. I would do it for these reasons:
1) You have grounds for getting a good settlement in the Courts.
2) It gives her severe consequences for her behaviour. Somethiing she really needs.
3) It gives you back Control and shows her you are not somebody she can take for granted, step on.

Rememer that you can Always stop the D if you want. I would however go through with it and perhaps if you are willing to, once she is out of rehab and the D is final, start dating again. if you eventually should marry again you have her sign a prenup.

This will also make sure you are not plan b.

All these things are realy needed for her to understand or she will likely do this again down the road.

Good luck any way you go and I'm sorry for you beeing in this possition. You have a long road ahead of you.


Posts: 104 | Registered: May 2013
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Wink  Posted: 3:46 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This should absolutely be your safe place to vent and to validate your feelings.
I have found this site a valuable resource to gain insight to varying perspectives from people who have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt.

Sometimes the insight came from a situation very similar to mine, other times not.

The decisions made during and after the discovery of infidelity are not based on any one thing.

So many factors come into play. Many of those factors are out of our control. As our circumstances change our decisions change.

We wind our way through a very complex maze often changing paths many times along the way before emerging out the other side. Sometimes we are guided through the maze by our family and friends. Other times a fabulous IC, and for the fortunate, our WSO.

Almost all times it is a combination of all of the above, but some navigate the maze alone. The dead ends we encounter along the way cause us to back up and change direction time and time again. Ultimately there are two exits out of the maze, to stay or to go.

To devote ourselves to putting in the hard work to salvage our relationship or to begin a life alone.

In the end we put all of these factors into our decision making process. We evaluate the positives and the negatives and we come to a final decision.

Hopefully the decision that is arrived at is the one that will result in a happier and emotionally safer and emotionally healthier life for us.

Regardless of where we exit the maze, it is an arduous journey wrought with unimaginable pain that will scar us for life. But eventually those scars will fade leaving us with just the memory of the pain we endured.

My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny. ~Elaine Maxwell~


If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill

Posts: 829 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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