.he says it's because those are the one's that respond and that's mostly what is out there on the websites and I just don't believe him for a second.
My hubby constantly talked about my weight and he cheated with fatter women. You can't believe anything these guys say. Some men will screw anything with a vagina even if they personally find the AP ugly or unattractive.
Just be the best you and don't give in to your self doubts.
There is a list as long as an ocean is wide about the things about OW that are against or opposite all things Perv used to say about women and life.
OW is apparently very, very large, for one thing. I am very small. We are the same age, same coloring and have daughter's the same age. But it stops there.
He used to poke fun at the image she portrays, including what he called "frufru" dogs, which she has, apparently, one named our last name. ?
The list goes on and was enough that this was told me by Perv himself, until I could stand no more. I do understand that this is a very, very juvenile person and who is aware the he left behind a suffering daughter and pregnant wife.
It takes a lot of soul searching and a long time, UMBL, but it's not about reason or logic and often, none can be found. It's not about physical appearance often times as "willingness" or "convenience"-I don't want to be rude.
I have a friend who is a BS also and she is this gorgeous woman who spends a lot of time and care on her appearance. She is a tall blond woman who turns heads-got noticed by Perv, of course-and she got cheated on. Her ExH said the sex wasn't what he wanted and that's what Perv tried to say part of the problem was. He, too has a wazoo full of FOO issues he won't ever deal with, because he thinks I am the problem and the rest of the world is wrong and stupid.
He thinks my conservative and polite ways are wrong and boring, so off he went to find someone who will perform all the things he sees on the Porn he likes and helps fulfill his sex fantasies, but ruined his life for.
I hope someday it will help to hear that. What I think is that if someone is bound and determined to do it, they will and often it's about ego and them and problems, as you say "foo issues".
I'm sorry for your struggle. I have triggers with seeing any people being any kind of couples, romance...it's all triggers right now but they go by. Sometimes new ones come and sometimes they don't.
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
Has your WH been diagnosed by a professional therapist that specializes in Sex Addiction as a "Sex Addict" or has he simply applied this label to himself?
IF he is a SEX ADDICT, do you plan to remain in the marriage and go through the years and years of intense, ongoing therapy that's required to deal with this issue?
I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.
The truth is, ladies, we are all beautiful! It doesn't matter if you are fat, thin, bodaciously endowed, flat chested... everyone of us is beautiful. As women, we have to keep reminding each other and ourselves that we are all beautiful.It is all about attitude. Attitude is where the beauty comes from and that is the part of us they stole from us with their affairs. That's the part we have to take back.
[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 12:20 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)]
UMBL please know we are here for you. Take the time you need to find out what you want and are willing to except. Know it is a wild ride full of heartache and truths that will slap you up side the head. Some needed some not. You are the most important person here and we support you.
Dare 2 Trust - yes..he has been diagnosed by a CSAT..he went through the motions before with treatment but never fully engaged. He says he is all in now regardless of what my choice ends up being. For now, I'm staying in it just because I'm in no position to make any big decisions...we start IC/MC next week and I'm taking each hour at a time. I feel numb most of the time and just like I'm drifting in the breeze... and I think because he is so open right now and remorseful it makes it easier to stay in the house than if he was being a complete ass.
He's not arrogant or mean or in denial..just the opposite actually - he is admitting everything and giving out additional information, and making all the appts himself It seems like he really wants recovery and treatment but who am I to judge truth at this time! Plus he knows that if he was an ass and not providing full disclosure, I would drop kick him out the door, I do not need one penny of his money thank goodness.
- I'm not really doing anything at this point other than asking questions when I need to and waiting on the appt with a therapist together first and then separately...and posting here...
The rest is just normal life...throwing baseball in the backyard, games..kids..pool..dinners. Life goes on except for the crying late at night after the kids go to bed..the interrogations, the searching through the phone, the gps tracking system, the calls to the sponsor, and the meetings. crazy making