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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 5th Wedding Anniversary Today
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It took 7 years for that shell around my heart to crack open enough to actually celebrate and enjoy a wedding anniversary after Day.

It can happen... To quote a wise woman: "Just keep trying"


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6034 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's some shell around my heart and it's just so hard to break through to it sometimes.

Wow, that sounds like my ol' pal "PAIN". It's my buddy that I wear as a shild...I feel the need to keep it around...just in case, ya know?

I'm so glad you had a lovely day with Crazz. Waking to roses on the bed-stand is the BESTEST!!

Your words are so wise I thought that you had been here longer but we have been here about the same time.

I get not letting your guard down.

But is nice to truly feel the love from your husband like the A never happened. It's kinda of a rush to truly be two becoming one.

Let it be just you two today.

(((((Congrats Jrazz and Crazz)))))


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Ladyogilvy
♀ Member
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jrazz)))

"I blame his "slip ups" as reasons I can't move forward, but on days like today it's clear to me that I can be so deep in self-protect mode that I'm scared to actually enjoy myself with him."

I can relate, and, it seems like a pretty reasonable response to betrayal.

[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 1:28 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)]


Me: BW a youthful 49
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 56
Married 19 years
Two sons, 16 & 17 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1512 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
Lowlow
♀ Member
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 2:56 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My brain is screaming at me that these gestures are meaningful and I need to hang in there.

^^^^^^^ this

We "celebrated " our 10th anniversary last week. He put out all the stops... Champagne at 5 am, our fist dance song, a limo to airport, trip to NYC and new diamonds for our wedding bands

But all I can think is that I was not good enough for the better part of 18 months. He cheated on me. Planned to leave me. And now I'm supposed to believe it was a mistake?

I feel like such a jerk posting here, he is trying, trying trying, I have read stories of heartbreak and sorrow especially about non remorseful spouses.... But for me, I'm beginning to wonder if this whole thing isn't a deal breaker


Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years
Reconciling

Posts: 198 | Registered: Mar 2013
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that one of the tricks to this whole thing, Lowlow, is that we have to incorporate the fact that there are going to be down days, and big doubts.

Crazz has done a few categorically dumb things over the last few months, and it puts my doubts to the front and makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing here. It somehow temporarily washes away all the work he's done in my head and I want to run screaming for the door.

The thing is, I KNOW that it's an uphill battle for him to shed a lot of his selfish behaviors, and he IS trying. If I can calm down and look at the big picture, there are a lot of days that I'm ready to lose it if he's not being perfect, and that's on me.

People would give their right eye for a FWS that works as hard as mine does, and I have some hangups I need to let go of. I still get to be confused and frustrated as he figures out how to be a good partner, but yesterday really helped me take a look in the mirror.

He wanted to do whatever I did, whenever I did. His gifts were thoughtful - not out of apology like gifts used to arrive, but preemptively even though I've been doubting everything about us out loud for the last few months.

I don't HAVE to stay. This doesn't HAVE to work, but when I see clear signs that me not letting go is a hinderance, I try to take a deep breath and allow myself to feel vulnerable to the possibility that we could work. It feels ok today.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 12:37 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)]


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16458 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, happy anniversary!!!

The mixed feelings are understandable. Keep at it, sweetie. It gets easier .


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 36692 | Registered: Sep 2007
StrongerOne
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy anniversary Jrazz and Crazz, and all the other SIers with annivs this weekend, including me and fwh.

Here is a song I love, that I couldn't listen to thru a lot of our journey to R. Today it makes me feel happy.

Kat Edmonson, Lucky.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=68xjjR5ztoQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D68xjjR5ztoQ


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 841 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 27
Pages: 1 · 2

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