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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Timeframe for Divorce?
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night I ended up mostly awake. I realize that for my healing to be complete I need this divorce to be final. I look at some of you and you were divorced in months. Its been 14 months for me. I have emailed and called my lawyer to tell him to expedite this thing. Any ideas on how to make it faster. I have a real concern that the other lawyer is too aged (she has retired) to do anything timely. The last letter she sent she commented that she had received the dates, but that she has "misplaced them" and keeps calling my lawyer's office for them.

What can I do to get this over with. My only thought is once a week call my lawyer to "drive this through" even though it will cost me money.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 654 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine only took 9 months, so I don't know why yours is taking so long. Maybe be that squeaky wheel that gets the oil?


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3153 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is supposed to be done by the end of the year.

Timeframes I've gotten vary.

Something happening I'm trying not to get flustered about is that suddenly letters are coming from the other L to "expedite" the divorce and sale of home...WTH? (what's the hurry)

I say that in part because the pending things are from the side sending the hurry letters!?


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2132 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It depends on what the hold up is. I started the process November 2011 with my lawyer. After much back and forth with XH, the Stipulation of Settlement was finalized in September/October 2012. Then it took some time for my L to draw up all the papers that needed to be signed and submitted so I would say that it was sent to the courthouse with a pretty little bow sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas 2012. Due to a backlog in the court system, we weren't finalized until 4/10/13. It felt like forever, but I guess it was 16 months of mostly BS and 4 months of it was actual court system delayed.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
trumanshow
♀ Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WE sep april 2011 and still haven't even signed off on the sep agreement. Soon I'll be able to calculate how much $ he spent on the whore and we can begin selling houses


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1742 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Dawn58
♀ Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I served the pig papers on January 8, 2013. The "Voluntary Settlement Conference" is set for Oct. 30. Some court date (ROP or something like that) will occur after Dec. 3.

His attorney is pulling some shit. Asking for disclosures that break the attorney-client privilege, so my attorneys may need to go to court to preserve my privacy. My attorney feels that the other side is doing this, to piss through money so there is less money to prepare for the Voluntary Settlement conference in Oct.

I am sure the pig is crying victim, complaining about how much this divorce is costing him. What a bitch I am.....Just hope the skank is worth it. I figure between what he has spent on attorney fees and the forensic accountant, he's probably in for close to 100K so far.....


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 465 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Almost 18 months since I filed for divorce here. Two lawyers. Parenting eval. A court trial that lasted all day. More court dates. Still not divorced.

I join you in wondering how people get divorced so quickly. I do know why mine is dragging out so long (I'm divorcing a personality-disordered SA), but still. I can't help but be envious when others here announce their divorce is final.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I should be happy that XWH planned his wedding for this past April. It helped light a fire under his ass to get paperwork back to my lawyer. We were divorced 10 days before he remarried.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't imagine it dragging on so long! That would be absolute misery!

As soon as we file our paperwork (which I am working on now that we have reached a verbal agreement), the judge waits 30 days and signs off. Done...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 952 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine took 3.5 years.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that having it over with will do much for you, unless there are complex issues to resolve. For most of us, if there are temp orders, things will be relatively unchanged once everything goes through. The only exception is those who need to sell a home and move, but that is a short lived upheaval.

Why do you want it done quickly? What are you expecting it to do for you?

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29539 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CW,

There are a few reasons why I want this done. I want to be able to say I am divorced. I do have a house. Not sure if it will have to be sold or not. So limbo with that. I will be changing my name. The business that I do, I have to use my name and I have a lot of signage. Can't change that until I am "legally" divorced. Again limbo. He is living with OW#3 (since 2 or 3 months after d-day) I feel foolish that I am still married to a man who is living with another woman, who also have been engaged for over a year (but that may have ended). While I am starting to open myself to possibly dating, again, I am not divorced. I don't want to explain the whole divorcing thing, but will not lie. So I feel as though again, I am in limbo.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 654 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once Dopey had me served (April of this year), it took about two months from that moment to the time the papers were signed, and that was with me holding up the process a small amount so that my lawyer made sure that the legal agreement wasn't tampered with and that I didn't get screwed on my health insurance. Did you have your WS served? The D can go on without the other party if that party chooses not to respond.

I don't blame you for wanting to get this done. I'm relieved that the final papers have been signed.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 12

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