My dday was 10/21/12. My h left me the same day. I do feel that for me that is the issue that I struggle with the most.
How could he leave me after 13 years together for a stranger.
That initial revelation, his lack of remorse, the cruelty while he was gone.
That is what just doesn't make any sense to me.
I am in IC, we are in MC and still there just seems to be no answer.
I am also unsure if I am able to R, just giving it time and working on making me feel good about me.
The only thing that I have decided is that I am not ready to decide.
I am open with my h, tell him every thing that I think and feel. Giving him the chance to do the same for me.
I don't know if he is capable of true emotional closeness but I am not ready to make a final decision either way.
The only thing that I do know now is that I want an honest relationship, vulnerability on both our parts. I will settle for nothing less.
I know for me that him leaving me and all of the events that caused pain after dday caused the bulk of the damage.
I don't know how to determine if you can r.
Are you in IC, MC?
For me, I would not be able to survive this with out it. It helps me to keep the focus on healing me and not fear the consequences, (most of the time)
((((shortee126)))))"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie