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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Another day...
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I get a call from Waffle today. Apparently his father has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. He's in his mid 60s.

So why did Waffle call me first? OK, fine, I have a PhD in neuropath, so he had questions.

More waffling, and I feel bad because FIL has been in my life for almost 14 years. It turns out he's an alcoholic WH (did not know that at the time of my M!), so that's one side of it. He's also my kids' grandfather, although sadly they wouldn't recognize him if he passed them on the street.

I feel bad for Waffle if he has to watch his father decline. Maybe it will be a reality check for Waffle staring down his own mortality, but I doubt it.

Someone tell me "not your problem. Doesn't matter"


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NOT YOUR PROBLEM!!

Didn't you just see him riding around with OW? Isn't she supposed to handle these types of issues now? He fired you from the job of caring about him and helping him deal with his problems..

And you answered a phone call from him?? I refuse to do that.. Email and text only buddy..

But on another note, I'm sorry to hear about your FIL.. I was so close to my in-laws for more than a third of my life, so I will always care about them (even though they've totally believed his lies without even asking me first if they were true).

I would talk to your FIL and send him well wishes if you want, but I wouldn't be helping your WH deal with any of his feelings about it. Not your problem anymore..

Hugs..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 6

Posts: 1991 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did just see him riding around with OW. Fucker.

I believe he wanted info on the neuropath, although it's been 5 years since grad school.

You're right, though. Not my problem. Not my problem. Not my problem.

ETA: FIL hated me for being overeducated, among other things anyway

[This message edited by roughroadahead at 5:46 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is cold, but that's what they pay insurance for...to talk to the doctor.

And Google...WebMD...


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10985 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FIL hated me for being overeducated

Geez, what an asshole. Sounds like he was jealous. Or intimidated as he prefers people he perceives are stupid or easily manipulated..

Fuck both those guys.. Save your pity for people who deserve it..

Hugs..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 6

Posts: 1991 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

not YOUR problem!! Even if he has been in your life for 14 years, I doesn't sound like you were close. Yes, it is sad but educating WH is not your job.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Mediation date: 7/10/14 and 7/22/14
Final final court date: Oct 2014

Posts: 2113 | Registered: Oct 2012
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what, FTG. Seriously.

This is gonna sound mean, but it's pretty shitty that he's all concerned about his alcoholic father who now has health issues, but, at the same time, sees nothing wrong with diddling around with OW while YOU are raising three autistic children.

He's a selfish prick and IMO has a lot of balls coming to you for help in his time of need, especially when he knew full well that the old man didn't treat you with kindness or respect.

This is not your problem. FTG!


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2696 | Registered: Jan 2011
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely NOT your problem. I hope you didn't give him any info or advice. He can google or WebMD it like Holly-Isis said. He no longer deserves to mine your knowledge.

I agree - FTG!! Really!!


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2181 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

um...FTG.
What the what? Cant the guy talk to the doctor, call around to specialists? Nope, he's gotta go for a soft place to land. Tell me when he has been that soft place to land for you?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4542 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Waffle's family don't live here (ie in the USA). Neither do mine. Nevertheless, he's an RN. It's not that hard to figure out.

Just to give you guys an example of waffle crazy:

Today is court-ordered Wednesday, so I picked up the kids at his house. Very business like exchange, he gave me the CS check, hardly a word. Before my car is at the end of the former marital street, I get a text asking if I'd had the oil changed. WTF?? So random.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 10

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