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Newest Member: datehimhatehim (45059)

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User Topic: Question for the men
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jana, this is a very interesting thread.

I have a little story about this. I left home after high school for the Air Force (about a million years ago), and I have lived far away from my parents ever since. Not because of any issues, it just worked out that way. Whenever I am home (to this day) my folks are always giving me stuff, wanting to pay for everything, all of that. I would always argue, tell them it wasn't necessary, try to refuse. I vividly remember my mother telling me, sometime in my early 20s, to just take what was offered and say thank you graciously because it hurt their feelings when I didn't. It has always stuck with me and I've always thought it applies to compliments as well.

I certainly get why, after the A, it would be difficult to trust a compliment from your WS though. My situation was complete abandonment so I haven't had to deal with compliments but I will say I sure don't trust anything that he says or does.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5189 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This isn't really a thread jack but have any of you also run into someone complimenting you about something you know isn't one of your traits? That one always stumps me...like when someone calls me sweet. I don't argue but also know they either haven't been paying attention or don't know me.

You made me laugh with the asshole comment UO!

Don't want to t/j either but with regards to the above....I think this is said ie: you are so sweet, when they actually WISH you were sweet so by saying it, maybe you will start acting that way.

Or, my H gave a good example of someone who NEVER listens to a convo....and then when they actually do listen that one time and you say, "you are such a good listener" bc....you REALLY want them to keep it up for the next time.

Is that projecting?

Glad my thread inspired your thread, Jana!

[This message edited by LA44 at 7:58 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2305 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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