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User Topic: Im getting the NC...lol
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I know it is a good thing but I am now getting NC from his end. LOL. It does not bother me at all(well maybe a little).

What gets me is I didn't do anything to him. He is just pissed about Fathers Day (read post from yesterday).

I think what he wants to do is date and fuck other woman to be honest. He doesn't want to be with me or R because he tried that already and we fight. (because he wants to rug sweep and not do the work)so to him it is easier to find someone else.

That does sting alot. Why move on to someone else when I was willing over and over again to R? I asked we do MC and he shut that down, I asked he try to understand my piont and says "sorry I can't know what it feels like because I never been where you are at"? We talk about it and somehow it turns to be my fault even thro he says he is to blame and he will take all the blame and then the next breath, if I would not have done this or that. Or if we would not have been fighting all the time? We were fighting all the time because I knew he was fucking someone else and he kept saying "Just a friend". We were fighting because I was always left at home while he went out with his friends (who I did not know from work and howorker) he would not come home til next morning most times. But, he can't understand this and that I dealt with that for 3.5 years? Or how about all the gifts he brought home, and let our son ride on a bike that OW gave him. Or push a lawn mower she gave him, list goes on and on. Or how about when she came to our home or all the texts she would send me about having to share my WH? And you blamed me for that? It was my fault. Or how about you told me you two would sit and talk about me and try to figure out how I knew things and who was telling me. Or how about when she pulled public recordes on me and lied and I had to prove it was not me but someone with my name? But he can not understand the depths of my hurt? I am/was suppose to let it all go because he said "Sorry".

So it is my fault we didn't work. This is how I feel, that he is blaming me for so much and maybe he can't see that he is.

Well, he can be with whoever. I am finally finally little bit a day seeing who he is and who he never was. I feel sorry for him and pity him because he is losing out on a wonderful wife and a wonderful family he had. I don't feel there is anything left in me to fight for anymore. It is gone and I am trying so hard to let go of who I wanted him to be and who he really is.

When people show you who they are, believe it. Love does not hurt. Yes, people make bad choices but the ones that have remorse for what they did are worth giving a second chance to. The ones that want to rugsweep or walk away for what they did and only see the negitive are not worth the time and that beautiful energy.

I will miss my bestfriend. The old bestfriend. He left a long time ago to never return. The A did something to him, it changed his thinking or maybe it just turned his thinking on about marriage and being faithful, honest and loving. I don't know. But, it is almost like there is no soul there anymore or at least not for me. Scary stuff when you think about it. That someone can switch off and on so quickly.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Aug 2011
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow do I understand this^

I will miss my bestfriend. The old bestfriend. He left a long time ago to never return. The A did something to him, it changed his thinking or maybe it just turned his thinking on about marriage and being faithful, honest and loving.

I'm not quite sure what I am in R or limbo, I think R, but I completely identify with your post and who the person we our M'd to really is. It is scary stuff. I see a little more of my old WH each day, but he is lost. Today he actually said he didn't know who he was anymore. Pretty sad, maybe they do lose sight of who they were kinda of how we will never be the same again.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crazy,
I was in limbo for the whole A and in flase R. I never knew what was really going on. I was scared to ask question because it would upset him. Actually, he told he didn't want to try anymore because already did and it just didn't work.

He never truly tried like a man who loves his wife, a man would move mountains to prove his love to his wife. He is to into himself and thinking he has to fix himself but I never saw the work? I just went along with everything. It went back to him making all the shots about how we were going to do everything and this that and the other.

He wanted me to come home a few times and when I made the move to do it he pulled back.

Limbo sucks and deep down you know if you are in limbo because you would not feel this way if they were truly trying and following thru with what they promised.

My heart hurts for you because I know how you feel. I really really do. But, because we are seperated I don't have to look at it in the face and feel so worthless.

I think he is seeing someone again. His attitude is just the same as when in his A, hateful and I have done nothing wrong. If you read my post from yesterday regarding fathers day.. you will see what I mean.

Best of luck sweetie, I know it sucks. Hold your head high, you are a remarkable woman!


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Aug 2011
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been in a similar sich since DD. I do believe my ws could go on forever with being m to me but having her on the side. It works for him until I go and mess things up by confronting him. He never went nc with the skank but likes to think I'm a frigid bitch because I won't touch him. No fn way after he's been with that POS. He's done the nc on me and I rather enjoy it but he caves after awhile because just like a spoiled child, he wants to have attention. I've already mourned the loss of the man I M, I know he's gone for good and I don't like the guy that replaced him.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 2:29 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5048 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ost,
Your DD in 2009 is close to mine. My was Aug.

Are you still living with him?

I can't say forsure if he is seeing someone else but his attitude is the same or he really hates me.

It is all a messed up situtation.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 5

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