Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Caught in the bookstore
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a $50 bookstore gift certificate and the afternoon free so I went shopping. I found some stuff the kids needed and got Scott Haltzman's book, "The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity" {wasn't that great IMHO}.

I had almost made it to the checkstand when I ran into my best pal from church. She doesn't know and it's been nice to have a couple we can hang out with without feeling judged. She saw the books I had for the kids and then said, "What else did you get?" as she looked to see what I was then trying to hide. I said it was "for a friend". You who live in small towns must know better than this. What do you do? Amazon?!


Posts: 541 | Registered: Sep 2012
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry!! I do Amazon or buy when I'm away in another town.
I too, live in a town where there are no secrets.


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 855 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
broken81
♀ Member
Member # 36774
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bought a nook just for reading Infidelity books.
Mostly so that my kids etc wont see what im reading either. Also after my first trip to the book store and them not stocking the title i was after it just seemed like a good idea.


Me BS
him fWS
M 8yrs 2 kids
DD 2/12 lies until 4/12
2.5 yr A with an OLD married whore
working on R

Posts: 232 | Registered: Sep 2012
Heavy Sigh
♀ Member
Member # 34243
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I resent people who know when you're trying to evade answering a personal question (or showing them a book) and they pressure you to answer or show them anyhow.

It reveals to me that their kindness is superficial and they are willing to hurt or embarrass me just to satisfy curiosity or to have gossip to spread.

Not sure how much this woman pushed you or if it was just mindless thoughtlessness. But if it was the former - real pressure to show her the book - then slowly back away from this friendship.

[This message edited by Heavy Sigh at 8:05 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1917 | Registered: Dec 2011
tryinginmi
♀ Member
Member # 29358
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heavy Sigh I have to disagree with you. My mother is a genuine person, but she would have pushed too. Her brain just does not work that way. She is naturally curious and severe ADHD. She would never understand that she is being rude to ask. I have tried to point it out to her for many years, but she literally cannot comprehend. She is the same woman that asked a very pregnant me if I should be swimming since I had just lost my plug. She did this loudly in front of 40 family members and friends at my sons birthday party.

I have ordered my books from amazon. I have bought a few print books, but most have been electronic versions. I am a very private person, and nobody else needs to know my business.


Me - BW 38
Him - FWH 38
Her - MOW 46 Fat Assed Toothless Man Faced Whore!!!

DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA


Posts: 954 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Michigan
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live in a small town and I used to work in the main bookstore in town so I definitely cannot buy books there. I would like to even be able to go in to check them out before I order them but there is always someone there who will come over to talk so that is out.

I thought about ordering them onto my ereader but I downloaded a preview of one and it posted to my FB page that I started reading "Not Just Friends"! It was several days before I noticed the post so I'm sure a lot of people saw it before I could delete it.
So make sure you have that option turned off on your ereader!

Now I order the book shipped to my home. I have read some self help books on my ereader but I prefer a book to mark pages, etc.


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, I ordered books from Amazon, thought I had erased the history, then our daughter came home from college for Thanksgiving and looked at the history and saw the books I had ordered about CSA. She told our son, and for months they carried that secret about their father, which just came out this spring. We always make a point to hide our books when they come home, remove SI from the search history, etc, but still...

They still don't know about the A, I don't think. But it is really hard to maintain privacy!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1654 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Lucky
♀ Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I resent people who know when you're trying to evade answering a personal question (or showing them a book) and they pressure you to answer or show them anyhow.
It reveals to me that their kindness is superficial and they are willing to hurt or embarrass me just to satisfy curiosity or to have gossip to spread.


I disagree completely. I'm by nature a very kind and caring person, I am also curious - especially in a bookstore. I love, love, love books and always interested in what others are reading.

Being from a small town I have purchased books from Amazon, e-bay and a few from book stores. Even though I am 8 years out if I find a copy of "Not Just Friends" at a used book store I purchase it and offer it free to members here.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live in a major metropolitan area (25 million), we moved from a really remote town (3,500 people and an hour by boat to the next city). I guess I got so used to the anonymity that I started to get ballsy! I don't blame my friend, she's a bookworm like me.

Posts: 541 | Registered: Sep 2012
Alex CR
♀ Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually ordered Surviving Infidelity right after Dday and had to go up to the register and ask for it from the clerk.....was totally flustered about doing it and, of course, there was a line of people, but I came up with a story that worked for me.

I thanked the clerk and told her I'm researching a story for a magazine about marriage, ones that last and ones that don't, and I was so glad they were able to get me a book from this author.... and then we chatted about how much information there is available about relationships today.

Don't know if she believed it but that didn't matter...what did matter was I didn't stand there during an uncomfortable silence after saying the title out loud in front of all those people.

I have them delivered to my home now......it's less stressful.



BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1592 | Registered: Mar 2010
Pudding
♀ Member
Member # 37168
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even better is ordering and reading on a kindle ( or equivalent). I can browse on amazon etc or buy a book recommended here and be reading it in 3 minutes. No one knows, not even the postman. I can be safe. Can also read it on the train on my daily commute, without anyone else knowing what I am. reading.

Posts: 220 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: UK
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only the NSA knows! (joke)

Posts: 541 | Registered: Sep 2012
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Small town over here!

Amazon all the way!

After D-Day, my H went to the LOCAL mall and asked for After the Affair. What the hell? You would think he would have better moves than that after the A?


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I disagree completely. I'm by nature a very kind and caring person, I am also curious - especially in a bookstore. I love, love, love books and always interested in what others are reading.

Being from a small town I have purchased books from Amazon, e-bay and a few from book stores. Even though I am 8 years out if I find a copy of "Not Just Friends" at a used book store I purchase it and offer it free to members here.


You sound very sweet, but please reconsider. I am sorry, but the fact that you love books does not make it any less intrusive.

I love drugs, but I don't hover over people at the pharmacy to see what Rx they are filling. (Not really, just making a point).


Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 14

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.