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User Topic: Holy sh*t, new info about my dad...
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Shutup  Posted: 1:09 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I mentioned on my Five Year thread in NB that I was visiting with my sister, who I have not seen for awhile (long story...), and that she was bringing over a box of stuff from our father's archive.

(He died of cancer in 1977, he was only 57.)

Ran off to wife #2 in 1964 and virtually cut us (five kids) out of his shiny new life.

Well guess what's in the files, folks?

Letters from some manic depressive woman writer in NYC indicating that they were having a fairly intense EA that was possibly consummated at her house in Sag Harbour one summer...

At one point he had a nervous breakdown (I never heard about that incident) and she actually wrote to wifetress to find out if he was alright!

There's only one letter from him, the first one he wrote to get her attention, pages and pages, he fancied himself to be a writer and he was gushing poetry and all kinds of bizarre stuff. And he was typing it as "my wife sits reading in front of the fire".

Subsequent letters from her indicate that she was quite tormented by the fact that they were doomed to be unrequited soulmates.

Not surprised by any of it, really. He was not quite right in the head.

(How bizarre that I'm reading all of it on FATHER'S DAY!)

[This message edited by FaithFool at 1:12 AM, June 17th (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17158 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((FF))
I can't believe those letters were saved !!
This reminds me to start shredding secrets and doing it soon !
I can't believe OW had the nerve to contact his wife to see if he was OK.
After being on SI for all these years,we shouldn't be !!
Where is that damn head shaking icon ?
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He was only about four years into the shiny new marriage when it started... wonder how #2 felt about that.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17158 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In one of the letters she refers to him as "the Irish greyhound who got away."

Just reading another letter he wrote to some young academic who critiqued an article he had published in a magazine.

My dad had a big chip on his shoulder about academics, so he really laid it on with this guy.

The next letter got more friendly, the guy explained himself, how he had a very well rounded life with a wife and three kids who he loved dearly.

Then he invited my dad to come and speak to his seminar class.

You could see Dad's ego getting inflated as he replied that he also had a well rounded life and five kids ("three already grown") -- notice the one-upmanship, this factoid somehow always being omitted from his 'official' CV --, that he'd love to do that if he could find the time, that they could maybe go out and tie one on, and written in at the bottom he mentioned that he could bring a young Master's student, "36-24-36"....

Oh yeah, a real Don Draper that one...

[This message edited by FaithFool at 10:41 AM, June 17th (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17158 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4698 | Registered: Feb 2008
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I agree ! How sickening !


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It makes me even more glad he wasn't much involved in our lives.

My mom was an amazing role model, she was the sane one...

He so did not deserve her.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17158 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Faith)))

I can't believe those letters survived all this time!


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196515 | Registered: May 2002
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it's a wonder they didn't wind up on a bonfire...

Now I'm wondering if his letters to her might be stashed in an archive about her somewhere.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17158 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow FF...

My dad died when he was 52, I was 16... My mom went through all his papers and my younger brother told me that she found out he cheated...

I didn't hear anything about it until about a year ago... My mom died 7 years ago now...

Instead of trying to shred anything I think I'll just have everything of mine thrown on a giant pyre and burned...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5952 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
brokenandconfuse
♀ Member
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't believe OW had the nerve to contact his wife to see if he was OK.


My H's AP called me to get his cell phone number. He had his own Construction Company, so I didn't think to much about someone calling him or giving out his number. His first AP, I actually hired to help him on a project as I had worked with her and she had 3 kids and needed a job. She would actually sit in my house after work and chit chat with my husband and I. I am quite sure they had already had sex.


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced


Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Faith)))

yuck. What an awful thing to have to read


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She was a nutjob this one. During one of her "trough" periods she wrote to him whining about how all the men who were attracted to her were married and just wanted to use her.

So he wasn't the only one.

Broken, meet broken!



DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17158 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 13

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