If she truly had no desire to be there she would already be gone.
I don't doubt she doesn't want to do the work required to repair (most of them don't - hell, lots of us don't either).
She has the best of both worlds - bills paid, comfy home etc. Why on earth would she be rushing out to pay her own bills and face the consequences of her actions.
A lot of times they don't want to be our spouses anymore but they still want us to be their spouse, IYKWIM?
They all cake eat for as long as we allow it.
A number of weeks ago, I was actually encouraging her to stay around for longer for precisely these practical reasons. She wasn't too keen on that, which is one of the reasons why I say that I don't think she has the intention of sticking around any longer than she has to. Now, of course, job or no job, I pretty much just want her out. But perhaps that gives some perspective.
What, pray tell are you thinking of doing to help her?
Help pay for more than you are supposed to so she can yet again make selfish choices...on your dime and your time if it will mean a longer drive to exchange your DD?
Find a suitable apartment for her? Just to have her turn it down because if she really wanted to be out, she would have found the apartment by changing her criteria.
In the first scenario the only way you can help her is by financing the lifestyle she's selfishly insisting on. Enabling.
The second is just a waste of your time. She knows full well her other options and refuses to look into them.
Change is hard but it is inevitable. How long will you stay in limbo? Until it becomes more unbearable? Until it becomes flat out hostile? Until you find put she has been bringing OMs into your home/bed?
A long time before DD I found strange head hair on my couch. I thought nothing of it at the time that is how numb and dumb I had made myself.
Do not underestimate her cruelty. She is currently underestimating your resolve. Do not make the same mistake.
Do not delay the inevitable - you will end up with a worse situation than you are in now.
Married 2.5 years
Reconciled after divorce
"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"
Help if it is clearly to your advantage (not having anything to do with her perception of you) but assume she is acting purely in self interest and proceed with caution.
In my situation, I guess you could say I helped. I really had no choice because he just took some clothes and left the house, left the marriage, left everything. Can you say abandonment? When I finally moved out of denial city and into file-for-the-fucking-divorce-already reality-land, I moved all his shit into one room and told him to come get it or it was hitting the dumpster. Once the house was sold, I made it clear what I was keeping and told him to pick up what he wanted from the rest or it was history.
I say, do what works for YOU for your own healing. Not to make her life easier.