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Newest Member: 4hazel (45322)

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User Topic: He told me he feels caged....
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my dear stungbytravel.

I am so sorry that you are going through this crap storm. I can feel your pain in your posts...

Well if your Attorney said play nice, then so be it. But he did not say be a doormat.

It's 180 time. Detaching and ignoring is a way to protect your heart. Please look it up in the yellow box to the left.

Now is the time to turn inward, focus on you and your children. Being blindsighted by the A is bad enough but being abused while separating is unacceptable.

Okay, maybe you can't bring out your bitch boots with the chrome spikes and rotating blades...perhaps some delicate Jimmy Choo bitch stilettos with a sharpend heel... something to think about

Sending you strength and light.

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
♀ Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would and have done 180. It begins to protect your heart. I also would play nice but you can at least pack his winter clothes, hardly used items, momentos. Get some boxes. It may send several messages, one of help. And would make things speed up and it would take less time on moving day. Make a stack and he can look at it. daily. Its healing. Get some backbone. In a less aggressive way.

a trigger yesterday

Posts: 937 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((stung)))) Sending you strength, honey.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25696 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ Member
Member # 38427
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Things like this drive me nuts as a BS. My WW is doing everything I could ask for her to do without complaint. I look at the big picture and the fact that this guy has a faithful wife at home willing to give him a chance to make right?> I would love to have a faithful wife, and sure as heck would do whatever it took to make my marriage right. What you have given him is a gift. A gift of R, and he should realize it.

"Son, you've got the future- shining like a piece of gold, but I swear as we get closer- it looks more like a lump of coal"

Posts: 135 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Ohio
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Caged?? Is this normal WS behavior?

I can only speak for me, but yes, I felt very caged. I am not saying it wasnt warrented, but I went from a very independant woman who didnt have to ask for permission to do anything at any time.

To a woman who couldnt even walk into another room without it being an issue. Saying that a WS world becomes totally enclosed is an understament.

Again, not saying that it isn't warrented, but our whole lives is now under someone elses view. Our computers, phones, cars, friends, they are all optional now. If we are asked to give them up - we have to.

I became desperately lonely for a good 2 1/2 years and i had a really hard time with it. I felt like a repremanded teenager that had to ask mommy to use the phone to call someone - and i was grounded so there was no way i was going to ask to go out to play.

I know that sounds horrible, but I am just being honest on how it felt.

I understand the need for it all, I understood that i put myself there, but it didnt change that I went from one style of living to the complete opposite in a matter of hours.

The difference is that I never demanded to do something, I never just up'd and left. I never put my feelings before DH's in the situation - I suffered only here when i needed to vent out.

I think feeling caged is normal, acting out and stuff - that's not really normal.

Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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