after 7 weeks of fighting and blame shifting its come to a complete stop ! he from the beginning knew that this was his mistake and no one elses but found ways to gas light me about my past before marriage that came to light upon his confession . he was focused on his pain and my details as to what happened between me and OP and so on ....but now the question about me have stopped and he has come to see what damage he has done even though he had made attempts to R and take me out and connect again its not till now that i seen bigger strides . yes he has always answered whatever question i asked but NOW he doesnt turn it around and say things like well i felt the same when you told me you and OP did that blah blah he has stopped that and just listens an answers and reassures me that there is nothing to compare myself because the girl was just that . That he liked what she had to tell him and let that be the reason he made his poor choice on and regrets it and will continue to improve himself and our marriage to show me how serious he is and just how much he is still very much in love with me and is crazy about me . i dont know about your WS but my WH is very articulate so i felt like i was floating when he spoke about why he loves me and why he knows he couldnt not put me through it a second time. that he was luck enough to have me love him enough to give him a chance to show me that he holds me above all else "that his job can go fuck themselves" ( he use to always put work before me made me feel unwanted so i stopped pursing him in turn made him feel like i wasnt into him anymore , lack of communication he never told me how he felt and bam ONS because little lady says :damn your good looking i dont want a relationship but i feel i have to have you ,and a guy like you shouldnt be alone tonight) yuck both were sluts that night!!! anyways he knows how unloving his actions were and how disrespectful he was and selfish but has put in the work so far and has gotten rid of his major distraction here at home (xbox addict, and i mean huge addict) he would come to bed late ignore the kids and me and we wouldnt go out cause he needed to be on or if we were out he needed to rush home . we stopped talking because it that dumb call of duty since the very first one came out ! i would try dressing in lingerie to seduce him then and i would literally be told hold on after this match is done....and he would never come upstairs . he now hits himself in the head because he says "i wanted your attention but denied you affection"" that you were there all along trying to give me what i wanted but i didnt see it because it wasnt on my time , and i shot your ego in doing so " what an insight on this guy huh?
i guess this was a good post i love him very much and my gut tells me it really was a mistake. that he in fact didnt search to have an affair that it really did just happen and he compromised his morals and followed through and even if he didnt see it through to the very end none the less it was wrong and he regrets the choice and her and for risking us.
He characteristic and track record our entire relationship and even ones before me prove that he is a man of his word , that in the end he does the right thing, and the he cant live with guilt . He has always been one to tell hard truths no matter what . his motto "im not in the business of making the same mistake twice"
i wish the OW could hear him when he talks like this "that she didnt deserve a moment of his attention " " that he could never give her nor would he ever want to give her what he gives me" " that she will forever be the biggest mistake and shes garbage and probably self loathing because he couldnt see it all the way through with her"
its gives me some relief to know he pushed her off him and that she called him gay for not wanting her. that he told her this is wrong you got to leave ( i can imagine by what he tells me she was a little hell raiser name calling and shocked that someone actually told her to leave)
ok idk know where this is going maybe this should have just been a journal oh well