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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 11
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just look at it differently I guess. It's mainly about being able to respect myself 5 years from now (no offense to those who decide against it.) I guess it's hardwired in me. Walking away was not part of my father's values.

Plus, I have always felt great after confronting people in the past, Now, at the worst moment of o disrespect ever I do nothing? Especially after the SOB "sized me up" at the Christmas party. (wife has not halfway admitted he did not expect us there which could explain why he looked like a deer in headlights.

I guess it's the redneck in me, but I feel strongly this chapter can't end without a face to face.

To tell the truth, since Dday I have challenged complete strangers. The other day a guy was raising hell on a cell outside of a store. Went right up to him and stared, when I had his attention I told him to take that bullshit elsewhere. He did.

I am not saying I am right, its just a fucked up place I find myself.


Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Later
I'm not going to lie. It felt good. Really good. Seeing him scared, wetting himself, and I did get a photo that was priceless when I walked up to the window next to him prior to entering the business. He looked like a goofy dumbass. Plus I showed the picture to several women and their response, no shit, was Ewwww, WTF was she thinking. I also got video of part of the confrontation. I was able to reveal what a coward he was. I claimed dominance. My pride and my ego was intact.WW was the fool. She fucked up. I trounced all over her magical rainbow. I showed her that she was manipulated by a pussy. That I was the Alpha male. That he didn't even try to stick up or fight for her. He fled with his tale between his legs.
I loved it. I rubbed it in.
I totally understand what your after.
And your not wrong in the slightest bit. We're ferocious. We loved or love our WW. We made a commitment and well fight for it. I had no idea what the situation was but I had to have the upper hand and clear that POS out ASAP. I didn't want there to be any misunderstandings whatsoever from that point further.
If I let it slide I would probably feel the same as you do. Most people say they would have killed him. They say that even though I did what I did I had more restraint than most would but I still didn't have most of the story.
The BJ's, the nasty sex etc.
I second guessed prior red flags like if I did this or that but I try not to beat myself up over it. She made the consensual decision to kick her vows to the curb.
But the look on her face was priceless. The look of defeat.

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 12:02 AM, June 27th (Thursday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
slater13
♂ Member
Member # 39008
Default  Posted: 2:58 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Men- just woke up from the most realistic yet sci-fy dream ever. It was about my wife. She was like a serpent/ robot. I shit you not. But when I woke up I just had to write down notes to remember it. These are the notes..un-edited.


Zombie- eating brains
She had me beat, but fell in hole
Was trying to get out
Would not ask for help
I took the chance to ask about the affair
Explained sex as “fierce” with AP
At first she got sick- threw up on work files- then amazing
Trying to get out, not drown as she spoke
I said "ask for help", would not ask, she kept trying to get out
Then slipped, “damn” she said then “damn” again
Then slipped again
Then like a robot in terminator tried in faster succession to grasp for help
Then finally the "help"
Then kept grasping
Then she went
I let her go into the abyss
There was never love for me
I was always a pawn in her game


The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a tough dream slater, I remember having them - I hope you're ok with the message...

Dreams like that were important steps in healing for me. I began to listen to them and take them seriously.
It is as if my deep brain was shouting for me to "get it", when I was having trouble facing the waking reality & emotional trauma.

I used every serpenterminator image as trowels of mortar in the wall of my detachment, and I needed every incremental scoop.


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not necessarily A-related, but I took my son to the physician for his 6-year checkup. The doctor (an older lady of Indian descent) remarked how nice it was to see me in with my son. Curiosity piqued, I asked her if she doesn't see many fathers in the office. She said no, mostly it's just moms in with the kids. Now, I get that alot, because in our household I'm the parent who handles everything school-related (field trips, volunteering, etc) and medical-related (appointments, ADHD presciptions), although my wife has definitely stepped her game up in this category in the past few months. Also, our son is on Public Aid Insurance, so the places we go for his Healthcare tend to be populated with mothers and their kids. I'm not saying that in objective reality that the father's aren't in the picture for all the kids I see, only that my experience is that oftentimes I don't see fathers around in some really important day-to-day life activities, you know?The most interesting part? "It's really good that you come with him to things.....little boys really need their daddies around. They need the role models and reassurance. *10 seconds of beaming silence* ....and little girls, too. They need their daddies....they tend to have pyschological *makes the finger twirling next to the head motion, indicating craziness* issues if they don't have their daddies around."

...
...
...
...ha!

ETA: Oddly enough, my wife's biological father IS a pretty solid dude. He and my wife just didn't know of each others existence until she was 17, and her mom had enjoyed two decades of keeping that secret from them both, since she fled the state where she had got knocked up before it was readily apparent, I guess. She ended up marrying (or just co-habitating) with a string of dudes that knocked her up to the tune of 7 kids. My wife has a pretty good relationship (considering the circumstances) with her biological father and talks to him weekly....but she is super aware of the fact that his absence growing up affected her twice-over: The guy she thought was her dad ended up being an abusive asshole towadrds her mom, so she got all the *benefits* of those FOO issues, only to find out later, "No, actually you've never met your dad."

ETA2: The point of that entire first paragraph is that there are some males out there who DO live up to that uninvolved father bullshit stereotype, and it really galls me.

"We are a generation raised by women.
I'm wondering if another woman is the answer."
~Tyler~

[This message edited by FacePunched at 9:58 AM, June 27th (Thursday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"She's a predator posing as a house pet."
~Tyler~

Wished I had Tyler around to make me realize that earlier!

Talk about a movie filled with Pure Gold!


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slater cool dream. Your subconscious is trying to make sense of it all.

FP
True. Boys need their dads. During my crisis I had the pediatrician a office on my side. I have a great relationship with the staff. They always tell me I'm a really good dad and they are used to seeing moms but I'm really involved. They are upset with WW and offered any assistance that I may need if there is ever custody issues.


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
slater13
♂ Member
Member # 39008
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

B444- that's exactly wht my IC told me today. He also said it meant I still don't know if she is going to come out out of the hole and be my friend, or try to kill me. I am seeking more knowledge about her, and very unsure.


The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude exactly normal way to feel
She was so good at pretending to be a good wife prior to dday
What's to say she's not still playing the game.
If she hated you then when did she suddenly start loving you again. Why? It's not like we've been wining and dining them. Things have been chaotic to say the least.
I often think they are just calming the storm so they can carry on with the pre A status quo.

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 6:57 PM, June 27th (Thursday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I often thing they are just calming the storm so they can carry on with the pre A status quo.

Correction: "...with the pre-DDay status quo."


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stand corrected sir

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's too quiet in here so ill post

I feel terrible
I've finally come out of my fog and realized that its my fault my WW had a fuckfest-o-Rama,got addicted to pain killers, got a dwi, had CPS question her status as a mom, went to rehab, attend domestic violence classes , ended up on probation etc
A six figure SAHM reduced to such a shameful status
I'm such a terrible person.
Today she is so happy she completed rehab and those classes.
CPS is also backing off
No credit to me fending them off with a good attorney and thousands of dollars that could have been invested in so many other things.
I can't even get a decent BJ in my vehicle
Maybe my BMW is too nice
Old faded POS ford explorers with expired registrations seem to turn her on.
Bah

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 7:24 PM, June 27th (Thursday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

b444))))

you cant reason with batshit crazy. stop trying.

i'd suggest you dont give up on contacting your lawyer.

best of luck.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe my BMW is too nice

Doubt that...it's probably too cramped. I have a single cab pickup, no BJ's. POSER had a double cab...magic happened. See the trend? It's not us, it's our shitty choice of vehicles that require too much gymnastics. Easier to just blow someone with more space. That's my theory.

I know how your feeling man. It boils down to "life ain't fair". And at times it just plain sucks. Nothing wrong with complaining about that at all - but come tomorrow, be the awesome guy you are. Hug your kids at home and belt them in the car.

What are you doing for you? Do you golf? Have hobbies? Wanted to learn something new? Practice some self care for B444. I wish I was there to have a beer with you and tell off color jokes. I've been there man, it's a time thing (I hope).


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. It's my fault I got a smaller vehicle.
I was being sarcastic above. Just spouting nonsense. But I do believe it is all my fault. I chose her.
I have plenty of hobbies. Living in the gym. Full time job. Awesome kids. The rest of life is good except for that one cancerous 115 pound tumor.
I am actually at a bar and grill right now by myself enjoying a bite and a jack and coke.
On my way out she was like " have fun with her"
Like really. So funny.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like you have it under control mate. I use sarcasm so much people think I mean what I say. There should be a sarcasm emoticom or something. Single barrel or black?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred that's me
I have to mark my sarcasm with a disclaimer. It's all good. She texted me to bring home milk. I asked her how about strawberries and whipped cream just to fuck with her.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was awfully quiet in here. Thanks for breaking radio silence.

I use sarcasm so much people think I mean what I say. There should be a sarcasm emoticom or something.

Maybe I'm a too much of a dork, but I love "The Big Bang Theory". There is an episode that they have to use a 'sarcasm sign' because they aren't smart enough to pick up on it. Not sure what I'd do without sarcasm myself.

[This message edited by thinkingclear at 8:53 PM, June 27th (Thursday)]


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe I'm a too much of a dork, but I love "The Big Bang Theory". There is an episode that they have to use a 'sarcasm sign' because they aren't smart enough to pick up on it. Not sure what I'd do without sarcasm myself.

Awesome show
I had an amazing geek moment the other day with my 4 and 6 year old in the car. A serious discussion on why Luke's light saber used to be blue and how he acquired the green one.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 6:43 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had an amazing geek moment the other day with my 4 and 6 year old in the car. A serious discussion on why Luke's light saber used to be blue and how he acquired the green one.

Now that is an important father - child talk. They may or may not end up from a broken home, but they will at least have sufficient sci-fi lore passed on to them.

I had our MC session last night - by myself. WW 'didn't want to go and didn't see the point'. I'm just done. I'm starting to break free and see my burden lightening.


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
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