Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: SoCalBoy (43217)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 11
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:58 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In ancient times, when men pointed sticks at the heavens and screamed, it was called religion.

Today, we call it golf.


Posts: 6027 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would it be wrong of me to have an affair solely for the purpose of being able to post in the mad hatters thread?

From the standpoint of doctrine it would be wrong.

From a more practical point of view, you would lose the ability to post in JFO when people really need your help.

ETA:
jjct, you just made the quote thread.

[This message edited by aesir at 7:05 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you aesir, I'm honored!

Posts: 6027 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From a more practical point of view, you would lose the ability to post in JFO when people really need your help.

you would also be unable to post in wayward with a stop sign...


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and I have a good fucking time with her.

LOL, I *almost* read that with fucking and time reversed.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night my wife got a text while we were looking at something on the internet on her phone. It simply read "hahaha"
I said who's that and she said her friend Stephanie. I told her Stephanie's name usually came up and she replied sometimes it doesn't.
She left the room throughout the night with her phone.
I asked to see it and she said she deleted the messages. She wouldn't let me touch it.
I said that was it. I told her that is why I was leaving her.
She came upstairs and wanted to talk. She gave me details of her relationships.
She fucked up and destroyed her timeline.
The story before was that on oct 20 she said fuck it and started a relationship. On oct 23 she admitted that she got in trouble at work for kissing him goodbye in an office. I asked if it was a first kiss and she said no. The first was a couple weeks prior on a park bench( how romantic) for 30 minutes. She initiated.
I said how could it be a couple of weeks when you told me you said " fuck it on oct 20th"
She said I don't know the dates it might not have been that long. I said I know all the dates and there's a big difference between 2 days and 2 weeks. She had been blaming me for being jealous.
She admitted to sex at his place twice. The first was quick and he initiated oral. He didn't want take her home. He wanted to get her a cab. She was upset at that.
The second was sloppy. She was on her period. He didn't care.
She told him we were divorcing. He wanted her to speed it up. He wanted her to sleep in another bed away from me.
She gave him a BJ in his car during mid day. They were making out. He pushed her head down. She said she hated that. He came in her mouth and she spit it out in an empty water bottle lying in his car.
She said he deposited her check into her account at one time and gave her an extra 100 bucks.
She didn't care when I was calling her because he cared about her but she said it was becoming a joke between her and her boss because he was becoming "too clingy"
(But he's single without throwing anyone under the bus)
OM 2
I had a friend who told OM2 we were having marital issues and that OM2 should contact WW. She said he friended her on FB. This was before he met us all on Thanksgiving. She actually asked me what I thought of him that night. I said he looked like mr bean.
She said she rebuffed him but went to his party. At the beginning of the evening he tried to kiss her but she said no. Later on after she was drinking, her glass was never empty, she went to sleep. She woke up in his bed in just her panties but says nothing happened.
This morning she makes me breakfast in bed. Bacon, eggs, biscuits.
I'm done guys.
I told her I appreciate her honesty and it was brave. But it's too much.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She woke up in his bed in just her panties but says nothing happened.

She's either lying or in serious denial. That's just not a credible story.

I'm done guys.
I told her I appreciate her honesty and it was brave. But it's too much.

Sorry brother. B444, no one can say that you didn't give R a fair shot.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah. Thanks Sal

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Mikey56
♂ Member
Member # 38063
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

B444,

You deserve so much better.

Pop smoke.

Peace man...


Posts: 108 | Registered: Jan 2013
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL, I *almost* read that with fucking and time reversed.

Funny, I almost wrote it that way.

[This message edited by wonderboy at 2:10 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. I go out of the country for a few days and it has taken a couple hours to catch up.

So real good stuff lately gentlemen. The remorse and empathy thing is what continues to keep me frustrated. My WW had an IC appointment the night before we left on vacation. She was ecstatic because he told her that she has excellent self-awareness and she felt like she no longer needed IC sessions. This from a women who still blame-shifts and shows no sign of remorse. Regret she has down but not remorse.

It has been nice being away but I've realized that I cannot keep up this charade. We have a MC session on Tuesday and I plan to lay out my expectations. If she cannot accommodate I'm done.

SAL, it's good to hear you're WW is putting in the effort. You're heart is in the right place.

B444, our WW have to be related because I can predict what your WW is going to say or do. It sounds like you're at the end. I think I'm probably close behind you. Kicker is going to be the fact that it will be my fault that we divorce because I couldn't 'get over it'.

I have been taking the WW supplement too. I've gotten down to 170 and 8% body fat. I've never looked this good and I was in great shape in college. I was on the rowing team and had stamina that wouldn't quit. I've been doing Crossfit workouts with some West Side Barbell powerlifting sprinkled in. Love it.

Melatonin is a great natural sleeping aid. 5-10 mg 30 minutes before bedtime. Not habit forming. I'd be careful with Ambien. Ok to use if you have some serious anxiety issues preventing sleep but easy to get addicted to it. Lunesta is gentler and is what I have been taking off/on if I need something.

Back to the pool for me now. Leaving paradise in the morning.


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ARRRRGH
That is all. Carry on!

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About the madhatter thread, the thing is there is one particular post I want to respond to. I think if I screwed my sister in law that my wife would really believe that my motive was purely for posting privileges. No one would screw my sister in law for the fun of it.

Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

B444))))

this is rough man. easy to dole out advice, harder to implement, I know. TT is the worst killer. It fucks with your mind-you need to go back and revisit DDay and everything since and THEN go back in time further to the A period and .... and its NOT about your WW, its about YOU; your memories, what you were thinking/doing... shit. it sucks butt - even if you've decided to leave and end it. It WAS still YOUR life dammit!!!

as many here have advised me so many times... it ends when you decide it ends. strength to you bro...


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In ancient times, when men pointed sticks at the heavens and screamed, it was called religion.
Today, we call it golf.

Pure poetry, jjct.

Welcome back to the thread, thinkingclear. Enjoy your last day in paradise.

Strength to all my BM brothers this weekend. Weekends seem to be the hardest days to get through, at least for me. Too much time to think...


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Noescape, glad you mentioned that - cross referencing what was going on during that time is extremely tough.

For example, I can recall driving on a family trip and listening to "why don't you stay" (a song about a woman in an affair with a married man who ultimately decides she deserves better) and the wife singing along. Make me question whether there is a soul in there.

And makes me want to punch a unicorn.


Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate unicorns
Heh. Listening to my WW tell her pathetic tales of romance last night and still
It. Was. All. My. Fault
She blamed some girl she thought I fooled around with BEFORE we got married over 13 years ago. It was kind of an EA and we had broken up for a short while. I mentored a girl who aspired to be a drill Sgt and a cop. It was nothing.
She said when is this going to end. My questions and frustration
I was like you had this in your mind for over 13 years and you've hounded me on it meanwhile this is only 7 months. Really?
Beside the fact that I didn't do anything and your guzzling cum in an old dirty ford explorer in the middle of the day in the parking lot where you work.
She said he was nasty and hairy.
Which is actually true but she went for more.
Then I get this text
It sure would be nice if we could have a nice week together. Maybe like an exit honeymoon where we just act like we used to when things were good for one last week. I love you very much and would like to have some nice lasting memories to agree on. It doesn't have to last only a week but I would enjoy the happy week I looked forward to spending with you

Pure psycho gold. There is no Manuel for this. I'm just a logical guy dealing with several puzzles where none of the pieces fit.
I apologize again for monopolizing the board but I've got to vent somewhere. You all are a great bunch of guys.
I had 2 glasses of wine last night. She emptied over half the bottle and tried to tell me I consumed the whole thing to blame my attitude on that.
We're going to a movie tonight just because I don't want any aggravation or accusations of being on a date.
I said to her what makes you think you can dictate who I can and can't see at this point? You threw exclusivity out of the window.
She retorted that I can't hurt everyone she sees. I responded once were divorced it won't bother me at all.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

444, in other words she wants to use sex to get back in. It's the one reconciliation like tool she has.

Then you two will argue (if nothing else you will trigger as we all do) she will use the one tool she has in that setting - throw out a new hurtful detail. She is incapable of paying the tab for infedility by supporting you through triggers.

It's like going to the same movie over and over hoping for a different ending.


Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost my nephew today. My mom called me on the course...we had finished and were watching the playoffs (our team didn't even have a sniff...). I left the 18th and went and sat in the parking lot and cried. He was a good kid. His mom (my sister) and dad sucked...not his fault. I tried to teach him how to be a man as best I can. Took him to Florida when he was 14, camped out in the glades. We were swimming in Monument lake and there was a gator on the bottom below us. I took off, stroking as hard as I could...he was screaming his ass off. I looked back and said I only need to be faster than you. He didn't know that the gator didn't consider us food...never moved. We had a good laugh about that for years. What really sucks is my wife tried to console me tonight...I didn't want it. I triggered when she touched me. All I saw is her touching the POSER when she touched me. Fuck fuck fuck. Did I mention that betrayal sucks?

I'm just going to cry a bit on my own, thank you.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
ssi0318
♂ New Member
Member # 39225
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm way behind on this thread, miss a couplenofndaysband it explodes.

Re: Ambien, it's been a godsend for me. Most of my worst sleep issues were pre DDay, because I knew something was going on but couldn't prove it. I was also getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night, was a toal zombie. Went to the doc after DDay to get a STD test (negative) and gotta script. I took it almost nightly for the first week or so, then dialed it back as my sleeping slowly normalized. It's like finding out the truth, while the worst thing I've ever had to dal with, finally settled my mind. I just got a refill 3 months later in anticipation of going through the D.

As for weight loss foe me, I dropped 15 pounds, also saw a weight I haven't seen in nearly 20 years ( I had lost about 25 pounds 4 years ago when trying to get my fat ass back in shape, so I'm down about 45 since we got married). Again, most of that weightless was pre DDay for me. Started lifting again, been using iFitness app on my phone, but what I'd really like is a weekly regimen I can follow that mixes things up so I don't get bored or plateau.

I gave up on R for many of the reasons B444 and later are talking about. Zero remorse, not owning her shit, not wanting to talk about it. I had the exact same thought as you, B444, I deserve more than this. Actually got a random compliment on how handsome I looked at work last week, nice little confidence booster.

Gave my STBXWW papers on Monday, she said absolutely nothing about it. I'm hunkering down, expecting one hell of a psy-ops to be coming my way over the next few months.

B444 - strength. You'll get through this.


Me-BS
Her-WW - probable NPD
M 11 years, T 14 years
3 kids, all under 10
DDay 3/18/13
I'm not happy - Nov-12

Posts: 32 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.