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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 11
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great tune. I have that one also.
Puddle of mudd has it going on!

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HAHA
Too bad the cliff wasn't higher.
OW gets thrown off a cliff by BS
http://m.clickorlando.com/news/video-shows-wife-throwing-husbands-lover-off-cliff/-/16721250/20642882/-/791nrg/-/index.html

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's what I call taking out the garbage.

Looked a little grainy, found this version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsJqzzfcqCk


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
didiknow
♂ New Member
Member # 39410
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Affair Weight Loss Program

I lost 10 lbs in the first 5 days and another 5 lbs in the next week so 15 lbs in the first two weeks after D-Day.

How much did all of you lose?


Me-BH (38)
Her-WW (27)
M Aug 29, 2010
D-day May 25, 2013
A #1 June 2012
A #2 Late 2012-May 2013
No matter what "new" information you find out, it's all just part of the same iceberg, hidden under the surface.

Posts: 50 | Registered: May 2013 | From: wa
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know exactly with regards to dates (I was already starting a fitness kick) but roughly 35lbs. Lowest I have weighed since 1995 or so. I have even had a few people tell me to stop losing.

Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it has helped me. I've definitely lost weight but since I'm a bodybuilder it has been mostly body fat. I've cut up a lot and I'm a lot more vascular. My abs are starting to pop and I feel great. My face is even more defined to the point that people have been asking what I've been doing in my diet and routine. Too bad they can't bottle up cheating wives and market them as a supplement.

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 10:22 PM, June 20th (Thursday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
didiknow
♂ New Member
Member # 39410
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Too bad they can't bottle up cheating wives and market them as a supplement.


I was thinking the same thing.

I was already hitting the gym two months before D-Day so I had gone from 170 to 165 and then after D-Day, down to 152. I haven't weighed that since I got out of basic in 1994.
Luckily I lost mostyly fat since the only thing I was eating was protein bars and shakes for the first two weeks.
My abs are popping out nicely now also.


Me-BH (38)
Her-WW (27)
M Aug 29, 2010
D-day May 25, 2013
A #1 June 2012
A #2 Late 2012-May 2013
No matter what "new" information you find out, it's all just part of the same iceberg, hidden under the surface.

Posts: 50 | Registered: May 2013 | From: wa
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My abs are not popping, but there are now creases in my stomach hair that resemble a 6 pack

[This message edited by Later at 10:59 PM, June 20th (Thursday)]


Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost a little over 40lb in the first two months or so and then leveled out. I've gained 15 back since I quit smoking in April. I'm thinking about trying to get into Crossfit later this summer to keep the bad weight off and put some muscle on.

[This message edited by h0peless at 11:29 PM, June 20th (Thursday)]


Posts: 1323 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jeebus!!!
I go away for a couple days and all heel brakes lose 'round here!

444,
holy shitballs! That lawyer couldn't move fast enough for me. we've seen this here a few times. watch your back, she is likely to turn whatever she can against you...and yes that includes daddy.

DIK,
it sucks, but you got your answer.
She told you who she is, point blank, its up to you to believe it.

I gotta say, this has got to be the strongest group of guys I've ever "met" on here. You guys, all of you, are gonna be okay. You will wipe the shit off of you, and walk forward, proud.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

444,
holy shitballs! That lawyer couldn't move fast enough for me. we've seen this here a few times. watch your back, she is likely to turn whatever she can against you...and yes that includes daddy.

SLH
Dude as soon as I decided to make an appt with my lawyer it turns out he is on vacation. Go figure

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talking of weight loss, what about the insomnia?

I thought it'd go away after the first few months, yet here I am over 3 years out and my sleep patterns are still whacked!!! Times I try to sleep and find myself obsessing over some detail or thought. Many times i wake up from some A related nightmare.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 5:27 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went from 195ish to 140, and have been at that weight for over a year so I think I've settled out. I really was fat, dumb, and happy. Guess that's why my wife traded me in for a younger, hotter model. At least if this R thing doesn't work out the next one will get the benefits of my wife's infidelity. I don't have a six pack (yet), but I'm happy with a flat stomach. After I finish Insanity I'm going to do Body Beast to see if I can put on some bulk, but I've got a small frame so realistically I'm not going to ever be "large". I used to be ok with that too...now my own body is a trigger. Infidelity sucks balls. Big hairy ones. And swallows.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
nomoreplease
♂ Member
Member # 32755
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weight loss wasn’t really an issue for me, but like noescape the insomnia was/is a killer. I never had a problem sleeping pre-A, but now 2+ years later I still have problems. A lot of the time it isn’t even A related things keeping me awake anymore, which really concerns me that it might be permanent, now.


'one walks away saying "I fought to save God's ideal," and the other must always admit, "I fought to destroy God's ideal!"'

Posts: 343 | Registered: Jul 2011
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

5 & 1/2 yrs and I still have problems sleeping.

I figger it is from always keeping one eye open while I sleep. Ya never know when she just might turn and kill me in my sleep.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Woman:
Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400 …correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?

Woman:
No

Man:

Where’s your Ferrari?


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As far as weightloss goes I haven't lost any weight. I've maintained my 200lbs for a while now. My body fat % has dropped so thats a plus. I was on a weightlifting kick prior to Dday so the A only helped to fuel my focus on that. It's been a life saver for me.

For the first couple weeks after Dday I slept like a baby. I tend to think that all the stress pre Dday that I couldn't nail down finally had a reason and it put my mind at ease. I didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells so much after that.

At least if this R thing doesn't work out the next one will get the benefits of my wife's infidelity.

Well said Tred. Maybe we need to make a calendar, "Men of SI" to raise funds.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, we know this shit hangs on forever when you sick it out. I have to think with D it stays for a while too, and then there are the issues created by the D (countered to some extent by new opportunities etc). I guess recovery following by D ultimately depends on what you are able to build post D.

Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
slater13
♂ Member
Member # 39008
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had a really tough week this week. Some of the issues brought up in this forum have opened my eyes and I have incorporated them into my discussions with my wife. They have not gone so well. For instance, she tried to tell me that the reason she continued the A, was that she thought the M was dead, but she kept coming home to me, kept going to MC? She didn't like me pointing that out very much.

Then in our discussion, she keeps wanting to talk about us rebuilding. Basically, she is asking us to not rehash, to look forward. Rugsweep. Deny. I told her she and I are not some new couple on even footing going into a new relationship. She has dug herself a 100ft hole that first she needs to climb out of. I mean, she pissed on me and my heart, that is not forgotten. Again, typical WS, she said I can't seem to move forward.

Amazing how we all deal with the same shit. Why is it some WS's get it and other's don't? What is the key factor I am missing? Is it:

-she just doesn't love me anymore
-some people are incapable of true remorse
-she is so afraid of losing control
-she simply does not know how to be truly intimate and give herself fully to another

I don't know.

[This message edited by slater13 at 10:24 AM, June 21st (Friday)]


The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shit I don't know. Maybe it's psychological. I've always trained in the gym. I've never let myself go but recently I've been going at it like a dog and getting JACKED.
Perhaps it's the primordial nature of man. We're looking at the possibility of going out in the world as single men and were subconsciously preparing to hunt for another mate. Or maybe trying to win the current one back. Either way is it possible some sort of primitive response and conditioning is kicking in?
From what I've read here were a pretty large group of alpha males. Tri athletes, marathon runners, body builders, professionals, doctors, cops, etc. we're not losers. We're the last stand of what a modern man should be.
We're not perfect. We're not ass kissers. We have normal attitudes and we expect normal things but we have a lot of heart.
When things get tough we get stronger. Better. This infidelity has made me reflect on who I am and where I've been. What I've e put up with and how much Ive sacrificed.
It's a beautiful day. I took the Harley to the gym. Wore my tank. And I feel great.
Last night coming home from work I was listening to puddle of mudd- psycho
And damn... It made me detach completely while I listened to it. It's like logic took over and my thoughts were clear. WTF am I doing. Let go.
I don't know
WW is still playing games. I'm on vacation this week. She's texting me suggestions to go to a restaurant and a wine festival on my own. I won't respond. I know her game. Act like she's permitting me to do things and be free. Whatever.
I'm going to take advantage of this awesome weight loss supplement.

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 10:28 AM, June 21st (Friday)]


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