2) Putting away groceries and seeing pictures of the kids all over the fridge. Ya know...the ones that were all over his desk that he and co-worker OW saw everyday. Ya know...the ones he brought home because he wasn't planning to stick around too long because he wanted to get out of there. So you saw those pictures everyday while seeing her and you think you haven't lost any credibility as a good father...riiigggghhhtttt.
Gotta move on. Gotta move on. Gotta move on.
[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 1:06 PM, June 12th (Wednesday)]
What am I doing?
There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox
I used to move tables when an intact, happy, functioning family sat near me.
So sad that such a beautiful sight pissed me off royally. These days I sit close to them - MY little family of three IS intact, happy, functioning. I enjoy basking in theirs and my happiness.
It is as rough as hell but it does pass. The death of hope was as painful as acceptance. But it was freeing - I cannot tell you how freeing it was.
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 5:20 AM, June 13th (Thursday)]
Overwhelmed with cleaning. We have really outgrown this house. But obviously we are not going anywhere. And will be downsizing as this moves along. I just want to take each room apart and go through everything. I'm getting resentful now that I'm here doing everything again and he gets the benefits. Just be a damn grown up already and figure how to get shit done.
And too many baby posts on Facebook today. I weighed in this morning (have been going to the gym 6 days and week and dieting) and I'm down 28 pounds. But it's bitter sweet. I should be pregnant right now. I should be fat and sweaty. I hate that he has taken away happiness for the foreseeable future and doesn't care one bit.
Yes, he's a big boy, and he needs to grow the hell up and figure out how to get shit done. You aren't "doing" for him anymore, and that's how it should be! Someone is figuring out the 180 quite well
And I very much wish I had scoured the rooms before I filed for D. I could have sold anything and everything I wanted, but now that administrative orders are in place with the filing, everything has to stay how it is. That's really good foresight on your part and a great step in getting your ducks in a row..
I know it's hard, but you are getting so much stronger. (((((((TCD)))))))
I can assure you he will fall down and cry a few times, but he will learn. Maybe he won't learn that he should just clean/fix/whatever, but he will learn that he fired you from the job of caring for him.. You may have to remind him a few times and deal with his mantrums, but he will learn to stop depending on you for things when you fully stop doing them for him..
Keep pushing forward and focusing on you and you will get out of the cycle soon. Promise!
I love your "Gotta move on. Gotta move on. Gotta move on."
Now it's also "Not my problem. Not my problem. Not my problem."
Trust me on this - what he does, where he goes and with whom won't bother you one iota one day. I had to go through a whole bunch of agonising pain before it stopped hurting.