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User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts-11
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*******(((((((UMBL)))))))*******
That's our way of hugging, and a special blessing, holding you in the *LIGHT*

YES! Try to find a COSA or Sanon group in your area. If all else fails, try Al-anon. Don't be put off by terms like "co-addict" or "co-dependent" In my experience, and with all the knowledge I've gained about sex addiction I have learned a few things. Most of us have developed at least a FEW codependent traits, even if we knew NOTHING of the acting out. It means very little except that their disease has made us unhealthy in our reactions. I have also learned that in most addictions, when the acting out or using stops, so does the codependent behavior, and that is across the board for ALL addictions.

My Sanon sisters helped me survive that first year. I learned that I wasn't crazy and that I wasn't alone. I learned how to set boundaries that were for ME, and how to appropriately disengage from my SAfWH's actions.

Yes, it's great that he has chosen sobriety but you have every right to be resentful that he gets to enjoy the "real" things in life. And be forewarned, your emotions will be all over the place.

We are here for you.


Me-BS-59
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 2921 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

numb, I never really thought about his methods over the years, but when I learned he was SA, one of the first things I asked was if he was abused in his childhood. He still claims that nothing ever happened. He had one bad experience in high school, but I don't know if it can be the source of it all.

UMBL, I know what you mean. But 20 days is good! My H has only been able to stay sober for 5 days. I'm starting to get a little concerned.


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 449 | Registered: Mar 2013
TooManyYears
♀ Member
Member # 26108
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cds,

I would like to backtrack and address this statement:

If you all don't mind another question and this one is rather personal and of the TMI variety. Has anyone ever heard of anyone, in group or group therapy, resuming a normal, consistently fulfilling sex life after this????

I would say that, yes, my H and I have a fulfilling sex life almost 4 years out. Is it the sort of sex life that most others on SI seem to be discussing? No. Fulfilling to me means that we are intimate about 4 times a month, and that it is always mutually satisfying and emotionally connected. He has not experienced ED at all since recovery, which was amazing to me. We did not have any sort of HB and we don't have the time for being physically intimate more than that. That may be a disappointing answer, but compared to the couple times a year he would angrily and half-heartedly (and often times with ED being the result) give me pity sex for the ten years before he entered recovery, it is a huge improvement.

In the first 1.5 years of recovery, we had sex very few times. I was pretty angry about the fact that we didn't get HB like all those other people on SI. It didn't seem fair to me. I was very upset by the idea of a 90 day abstinence, because I felt like it was punishing me. However, after speaking to his CSAT and understanding why this was important, I was more accepting of the idea. The question of whether we could ever have a sex life again was something I brought up at my first meeting with his CSAT. I had a lot of doubts after years of an essential sexless marriage for me.

IMHO sex does change after recovery. For us it has been very intimate and loving. While we may not have quantity, we have quality.

I think that also more importantly, we have grown in our non-sexual intimacy. This is where the initial focus needs to be during recovery, once you are at a point where enough time has elapsed and where you can begin to work on things together. For us, that was not until a good 1.5 years out. We started backpacking together and going out dancing. It was important for us to develop new healthy interests together, something that took the focus off of just recovery stuff all the time, and allowed us to reconnect as a couple.

Right now you are still very fresh to all of this. You need time (I know how no one wants to hear that) to process your emotions and work on your recovery. Time will also tell whether he will stick with recovery for himself, too.


Me- 40
H, rSA- 46
2 young adult children
Married 21 years
Last D-day 9/19/09 (Many before this)

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2009
TooManyYears
♀ Member
Member # 26108
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sadone,

My H has only been able to stay sober for 5 days. I'm starting to get a little concerned.

I am sorry, but if he can't stay sober for more than 5 days, he is not in recovery. I hope you are working on yourself and your own recovery.


Me- 40
H, rSA- 46
2 young adult children
Married 21 years
Last D-day 9/19/09 (Many before this)

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2009
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks TooManyYears. He's not acting out like crazy or anything. There's been no porn for weeks, but he doesn't seem to be able to stop masterbating (again sorry for tmi). I don't know if it's just a mental thing and he just really disagrees with SA's strict idea of sobriety? So on one hand, I'm thinking, well at least he hasn't broken NC agreement with OW and he isn't sex chatting. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel that our marriage comes second yet again to his needs. He's also reverting back to old ways where he pretty much hides from me and the kids after he gets back from work. He also forgot our anniversary again a few days ago (not a surprise). Not sure why I thought he could change.

I've been very detached lately and he feels it. But I need to do it for me and the kids. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm going crazy.


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 449 | Registered: Mar 2013
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((sadone))) The abstinence period is critical to recovery. The brain needs time to clear out all the junk accumulated in there from years of overdose. You can actually see some fog lifting from the heads and in their thinking afterwards. It's a chemical thing related to all addictions, and some SAs actually have withdrawal symptoms like drug detox.

My SAWH lied about his sobriety for nearly the whole first year of recovery. It was also "masturbation only" but because he never had that brain flushing period, he never progressed in recovery. Don't settle for less than full commitment to recovery when you are aware it is not happening. It is not worth the time lost.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((sadone))) The abstinence period is critical to recovery. The brain needs time to clear out all the junk accumulated in there from years of overdose. You can actually see some fog lifting from the heads and in their thinking afterwards. It's a chemical thing related to all addictions, and some SAs actually have withdrawal symptoms like drug detox.

My SAWH lied about his sobriety for nearly the whole first year of recovery. It was also "masturbation only" but because he never had that brain flushing period, he never progressed in recovery. Don't settle for less than full commitment to recovery when you are aware it is not happening. It is not worth the time lost.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadone - So sorry that he isn't fully in recovery. Hopefully, he will see that still using something is still using. How are you doing? Exhausted was so normal for me in the beginning. Take gentle care of yourself. Detaching is a good thing! Keep it up and hopefully the drain suck of dealing with an addict will lessen.

I had therapy today, it was good. Really feel like I get more out of MC these days. Working on my steps and impact letter. So I had better get back to it!


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm having a tough day for whatever reason. Seems like we have been having longer periods of calm before the next storm rolls in. I take great comfort in the fact that I am able to find small doses of happiness amidst the chaos SA has brought to my home. My nerves still feel like they are on the outside of my body and I'm exhausted as the ever ready hypervigilence fades but never quite goes away.

The diagnosis of SA is forcing us to look at the breeding ground, which is our marriage, that allowed this devil to thrive & grow. I am beginning to see just how big a monster it really is & it brings me to my knees. Reaching back into earlier years trying to find where it was planted, how it was fed & watered & grew into this horrible thing that now threatens to destroy us. Even now, when I go back to days that I thought we were happiest, I catch a glimpse of it's shadow. Now, I know it's been there all along & I have to try to reconcile all those years of my life with him in this new light.

I am certain he is trying his dead level best but, I don't know if there is really a way that he can behave his way back into my life. Combing thru 36 years of our life together has only served to show me how many things were wrong that I chose to accept because it was the path of least resistance. So many issues stuffed down on top of so many more issues.

I'm just not sure that after peeling back the layers of this mess there will be anything to be desired of it. It's all apparently damaged but, what, if anything, can salvaged? So incredibly painful but, there it is and has been all along. I could smell it but, just couldn't see it.

I'm so conflicted about how repulsed I am by his acting out yet, I still am amazingly attracted to him. When I see him naked, I wonder how many other women know the intricacies of his body that were meant for me alone. It breaks my heart.

But, we go on right? We pick our lives up & keep moving for if we stand still, we won't survive. I've read every book that has been mentioned here & then some but, I still haven't found one that speaks to my particular situation as far as how I can heal from the multiple, casual, sexual encounters that my partner had. How do you conduct yourselves with any kind of dignity when this is your reality? I'm at a loss today to see the potential for even short term relief much less a long term solution.

I know each one who reads this thread knows some variety of this painful situation. I wish there really were some ruby slippers about right now.

[This message edited by outtanowhere at 3:42 PM, June 27th (Thursday)]


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 36 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell

Posts: 495 | Registered: Apr 2013
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've read every book that has been mentioned here & then some but, I still haven't found one that speaks to my particular situation as far as how I can heal from the multiple, casual, sexual encounters that my partner had. How do you conduct yourselves with any kind of dignity when this is your reality? I'm at a loss today to see the potential for even short term relief much less a long term solution.

If you find that book, let me know. Ours is a special kind of hell, isn't it? We can't get closure from a NC letter. If we were able to track down all the random people, how many of them would actually remember who our husband was and be able to pick him out of crowd, let alone give us any info that would help us heal? And with the technology now, very easy to do his covert business on a prepaid smartphone and leave no electronic trail otherwise, so you can never be totally sure it is over. And the whole plethora of STD crap we wade through for the rest of our lives, holding our breaths that we pass the test again. The mind movies. The emails (and maybe pictures) we will never un-see. Ugh. Big sack of suck.

I haven't found that book that speaks to our particular situation. I have gained so much knowledge here and from books in general on how to cope and heal, but I have never seen a "Idiot's Guide for When Your Husband is Addicted to Prostitutes". Well, I guess my story thread on JFO is a sort of idiot's guide with nuggets of clarity and wisdom specific to this, but it's not a very happy story. Not exactly inspirational reading, LOL.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
cds22
♀ Member
Member # 39083
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadone-we are at the same stage so I am still stumbling around here too! But I think part of the issue is that the change needs to be sort of "inside out," a change in the underlying selfishness and entitlement and lack of empathy and intimacy. The SA really must want it. My H's therapist did not forbid masturbation and that happened once for my H during his slip. He decided that it did bad things to him. He said he turned inward, it awakened the compulsions, even though it was once I could actually tell it had happened because of its impact on our sex life as a couple. So he decided to define no masturbation as part of his sobriety. I am really sorry to hear of this and I also worry for you (for me, for all of us!) that if this is what you know of, there may be more. :( The only way I feel any small degree of security with sobriety/recovery is when my H is all in. Apropos of nothing, we are looking into transcendental meditation, I believe you can get a private teacher or take a class, as a stress coping mechanism for H and I read it is also good for trauma and ptsd so I may try it too.

Outtanowhere-I could have written your post. I have been going back through the years mentally too and trying to figure out if he was always selfish or became so. And I see the compromises and support on my part that I thought were a loving spouse's behavior as enabling his selfish orientation. It is awful to have your memories recast this way. Outta, I HIGHLY recommend a vacation without your spouse. I did the first week of my vacay without the H and let me tell you it is like a spouse reset! I feel so much better. I think you need a sustained break of a week or two from the stress of dealing with SA, from your H who is basically a trigger now (same thing here), and even from the memories in your house. Cannot say enough good things about this. Any way you can swing a break like that? You just can't sustain this pace of processing the horror.

Missymomma-good luck with the impact statement. And so glad to hear MC is going well.

Everyone else, stay strong!


Posts: 210 | Registered: Apr 2013
cds22
♀ Member
Member # 39083
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have another question about the abstinence period.

Prior to this post, you *may* all have thought I was a sane individual. Those thoughts will be dashed after you read this.

We have been trying to get pregnant for the past month and half. It is one of my most important goals to have a larger family, possibly my most important. I am turning 40 this month, just had a miscarriage, and cannot wait. I met with my IC, my accountant, my work who told me they would tailor my schedule to my family needs and not to worry, talked to a colleague single mom who uses au pairs, etc. If our marriage doesn't work out I am prepared to parent three on my own (with the live-in au pair, with my H who for all of his faults is a hands on dad and I know will remain that way even if we divorce). I wonder all the time if part of this is some deranged attempt to get my old life back. But in reality prior to DDay I was baby-crazy, totally focused on having #3. I am not all that certain that I can get pregnant successfully but I do know if I don't try I will have lifelong regrets.

So, that is where we are. Putting aside that it appears batsh*t crazy, I was wondering how badly I have screwed up H's recovery. His IC said 90 days of abstinence was ideal but he could do 60 which is what he did. H thought it would be better for his recovery to do 90 days and not have the pressure of a possible high-risk pregnancy, but he felt that my desires and our goal of expanding our family outweighed that and we didn't have the luxury of time on the fertility front. We have also talked about going back and redoing the 90 days if/when I am pregnant.

I am sure now you all feel that you have read it all . . .


Posts: 210 | Registered: Apr 2013
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been rereading my old story in JFO. I do this every few months to remind myself where I have been and how far I have come. And to see things now that I couldn't see at the time. I came across a passage that may be helpful to those new in this painful journey. Maybe. This was about 18 months ago?

I had mentioned in previous post of my story I felt like my life was like digging ditches with a spoon. I was doing recovery work and got inspired by that sentiment.

Today I worked on step one, and I took my shovel/spoon analogy a bit further.

Said that SA has consumed my life to the point even mundane daily tasks have become overly difficult and sometimes nearly impossible. That it is like digging ditches with a spoon, instead of a shovel. And when you are used to digging ditches with a shovel, you really come to resent that spoon. You hate your WH for putting you in a position that you have to use a spoon now. You hate that your higher power has taken your shovel away. You hate yourself for not being grateful that at least you have a spoon. And it all just makes you angry and further pushes the cycle of the vortex of SA consuming your life.

So I meditated on it, thought about it, prayed about it. This is what I came up with.

Right now, I need the spoon. If I had the shovel now, like I mentioned before, I'd whack my WH with it and bury him in the back yard. And that wouldn't really help anybody, LOL. And now that it takes so long to dig ditches with a spoon, I have to question everything I do. Is this a ditch that I *need* to dig, that is essential to my existence, my healing, my recovery, my health? Or do I want to dig it because I've always dug it, never questioned why I dug it, and I don't know any other way? Is my time best served by digging this ditch, now or ever? Do I need I to dig it all? Or maybe I need instead build a bridge. Or, as someone else pointed out later, maybe I need to use the spoon to feed me instead. Right now I need to question everything, make sure that in this new chapter in my life I am dedicating my energy to the right things.

And THAT is why I have a spoon, why my shovel was taken away. It is a blessing in disguise, and I need to stop being angry about it.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
cds22
♀ Member
Member # 39083
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hath, I appreciate your wise words! I am not sure if my post might have spurred your post (or not). I can only say that recently I have come to feel that I have moved from the "spoon" stage to at least the "mid-size shovel stage" . .. and I wonder all the time if I am using that shovel to burrow my way to the nearest mental hospital! By which I mean, I can see that pregnancy seems crazy, I am not at all clear it is the right decision. But I don't have time fertility-wise for my clear thinking to return! I have to make a decision under pressure, with all sorts of uncertainties. I have basically determined that if it is a mistake there are worse mistakes to make than a new life and another chance to be a mother, which is so important and fulfilling to me. My biggest concern is that I am being selfish and irresponsible and I won't have the time/energy for three kids on my own if H's recovery fails. Yet, I know many single parents who do a great job with three and I also don't know that I will be single forever.

My decisionmaking has been turned upside down. I have always made all of the "right" sensible decisions - - I can't tell you how many friends over the years have told me they envied my judgment, my life was so together, etc. HA! Look where all the right decisions got me. I now believe in chaos theory and that there are too many random variables to even predict a right or wrong decision.

This is what I mean about my shovel and crazy-town. :)


Posts: 210 | Registered: Apr 2013
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cds - Please weigh your decision carefully! Pregnancy and a new baby is very tough in the best of circumstances. With an addict, it tends to be a very triggery time. That baby lust is intense and can be overwhelming! No one is saying you can't have a baby but give it at least a little time. Having done fertility treatments, I get how quickly your window is closing. I am just concerned for you that you will be dumping a lot more on your own shoulders. (((hugs)))


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
cds22
♀ Member
Member # 39083
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Missymomma for your good advice. I am a sensitive/hormonal/low grade depressed pregnant woman and post-partum is tricky as well as well. It is FAR from ideal timing.

My thinking was that I may not be able to get pregnant at all and the likelihood is that it will take me several months of trying. So I think the little bit of time is likely going to be built in.

From a strict fertility standpoint, I talked with my ob/gyn and she thought it might already be too late for a non-ivf pregnancy and that I needed to try to conceive every cycle.

Prior to this we were seriously considering adoption and I felt less time pressure. But I am pretty sure that that is another door closed given the recent events and my H's problems. :(


Posts: 210 | Registered: Apr 2013
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Hath & cds!

I've been scanning the thread for replays because it always bumps me up a little to hear some encouraging words.

Just having to go back in time knowing what I know now is gut wrenching. Having to revisit things that should have been dealt with long ago but, I just kept believing that he would have an Ophra Ah Hah moment & things would right themselves but, it just never happened. I'm seeing H now as a by that never really grew up & "got it". I still hold out hope but, some days, like today, are just filled with so much anxiety it's hard to keep a level head.

The future seems so daunting because of all the prospects for relapse. Will I ever be able let my guard down & relax? I get completely stressed out if I know he has $20.00 in his wallet at any given time.

Hath, tell me your secret for getting past the knowledge of your H being with these women. I sometimes can tell myself that they don't matter & console myself with the fact they would have never given him a second look if he didn't have money but, it always seems to come back to the very personal aspect of he would take any piece of human flesh that would accept his payment. Don't know if I can ever reconcile that.

cds, I'm glad you got a breather from this three ring circus & hope the rest of your vaycay helps you clear your mind & restore some sanity to your life!

Thanks for the replies. Sometimes I just feel like I'm drowning & need that life preserver that I know you all will throw me!


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 36 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell

Posts: 495 | Registered: Apr 2013
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Outta - I wanted to say, there is no book with that magical answer. They give you pieces, then you get more pieces in therapy and even more pieces at meetings. Everything gradually builds upon itself. This takes 3-5 years to reach recovery for the relationship! (my therapist reminded me of that gem, once again today). It is slow, there are set backs and it seems like it insurmountable on days. All I can say is that when you start to see changes, it does give you some hope. I have changed in this process and so has my SAWH.

As far as how to get over them being with women they paid, it helps me to remember that what they did so far from real, good sex that it is sad. When my SAWH and I actually have real intimacy (which is still rare at this point), then he really feels something. The other stuff was just an obsession that left him feeling filthy and worthless. Know that you are better than anything/one that he was using!


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took too long to write my last post so I missed the covo about babies. Since you asked cds, I'll give you my honest opinion. I agree with Hath as the first piece of advice we got from MC & here as well is delay any life changing decisions for at least a year. You already have such an overflowing plate & we tend to forget how much time & stamina a newborn requires. I used to work in an OB/GYN office & know the stress women put themselves under trying to achieve pregnancy within a specified time frame & can result in severe depression if it doesn't happen. Never mind the possibility of problems with the pregnancy or a colicky baby that cries non stop. You risk sabotaging any progress in your relationship with your H with just one unforeseen complication

It is my opinion that right now it would be in you & your families best interest to devote yourself to achieving & maintaining stability in your home for a while. Keep your mind open to the possibilities of welcoming another child later by whatever means when you are in place where you can truly enjoy all the blessings that a baby can bring.

H & I were talking tonight about how i was mourning all the losses that were taken from because of SA. I played by the rules, never did anything risky but, I got terribly burned anyway. Wasn't it an old Beetles song that said life is what happens when you're busy making other plans?

[This message edited by outtanowhere at 7:27 AM, June 28th (Friday)]


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 36 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell

Posts: 495 | Registered: Apr 2013
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. Exhausted is an understatement. My daughter just asked me why I'm always so tired. Makes me sad.

cds, I hear where you're coming from. I remember baby fever well! Once I made the decision to have a child, it became almost an obsession for me (not saying it is for you!). Nothing could get my mind off of it until it happened. After my second c-section, I got a tubal done. A few years later, I went through a mourning period where I thought I made a big mistake. It didn't last long and I'm back to thinking 'thank god"! lol.

I'm sure you will find what's right for you. My first reaction was that of the others and think that taking time to heal makes sense. But it's also a matter of timing now too, so I get that as well!


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 449 | Registered: Mar 2013
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