I intend for DS to spend Fathers day with the man he lives with, who helps take care of him, my dad, his "Papa".
If X asks for time with him I will have my dad offer him time after DS's nap in the afternoon. The morning will be spent having brunch and playing mini golf. I'm not sure what to do if X gets mad about this.
Mothers day has never meant squat to him, he didn't even see his own mother on mothers day. He gave her a card the next day. So if he starts acting like Fathers day is so important he is full of it. He hasn't seen DS on the weekend for three weeks.
Mrs. Robinson- 40, S but still M
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin
My decree states that we each get dd on md/fd even if its not our regular weekend for visitation. Next weekend is not normally his, so if he wants to see her he's going to have to get his fat ass up and come get her and return her though. Driving is not stipulated, but I will assume that's the case
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley
If you have it in the final agreement, obviously you can't deny him any time with your child or else he could claim you violated a court order.
If there is no agreement yet, you can be more flexible, but I agree that if he asks, you don't want to seem unreasonable to a court down the road.
With all that said, without an agreement in place, it's his job to ask for the time. It's his job to plan something for him and his child and to make that time special. I wouldn't mention it at all. If he wants it, he can ask.
I don't want to be unreasonable. This is all just very hard. He's never given me so much as a card for Mother's day. He sent a text. (Not this year though) His mother has stage IV cancer and he f-ing skipped mothers day with her. He didn't even get her a gift, just a card the next day. I did more for his mother than he did! It will make me very angry if he now insists that fathers day is sooo important to him.
My dad is so great with his grandson. If I ever say that he is more of a dad to my DS than X is, itisnt because he lives with him, or spends more time with him, its because he is more interested and invested in him. My father is not a self centered manchild.
So I think I'm going to stick to my plan. If X mentions it, tell him he can have DS after nap time. Thats still giving him time. If he gets mad that it isnt what he wants when he wants it I will.... try not to interalize it. *sigh*
My agreement states that on MD/FD the parent of the day gets the kids from 9AM to 9PM regardless of normal schedule. So on Sunday I will be picking up my kids for the day.
For the good of your kid, I would try and work out a deal if it becomes a discussion to allow time with your dad and him as well. I have a similar situation with the EW's father who I am on very good terms with. While I may not be able to get him any time this Sunday, we will set aside time for him at some point to be with my son who adores his grandfather. Try and keep it in the childs perspective what is important to them. :)