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User Topic: age of the AP
realitybites
♀ Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

at the time of the affair:

WS- 53
OW- 27


Posts: 5676 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
cancuncrushed
♀ Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H and I were both 50. OW was 29. She was at the company picnic moving on my H the day of my 50th birthday. She was aggressive coworker.Second OW (insane flirting only at wedding) was my daughters school chum. 25 yrs. For him, its all about the young, beautiful, body. HOPELESS


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 951 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ow was 37 at the start of A...ws a few yrs older


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5134 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
wahoo8895
♂ Member
Member # 29244
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWW was 42
OM was 49


Me - BH (47)
Her - FWW (46)
Married 17 years
Together 19 years
3 kids
DDay #1 - 12/8/09 (EA)
DDay #2 - 12/18/09 (PA)
A ended - 2/21/10
R'ed

Posts: 548 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Metro DC
englishrose
♀ Member
Member # 34974
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH was 42 at that time,
his OW 43.


me BW 46 WH 43
DS 7
DS's 21 & 19 (my boys - from my previous marriage)
Ddays 3&17/3/2011



Posts: 186 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: UK
Painfool
♀ Member
Member # 33227
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree that age isn't necessarily an important factor in this.

At the time I (BS) was 28, H was 29/30 and OW was 42.


Married 9 years, together 14.
1 child, aged 6.
WS (31)
Me (30)

The bad news is there is no key to happiness. The good news is it isn't locked.


Posts: 1871 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: United Kingdom
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am 5 years younger than WS, OW is the same age as WS.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5445 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
MartlArts
♀ Member
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H & wannabe OW were both early 60s during the OEA. I'm 10 yr younger than either and could probably pass for her daughter.

BUT - since they hadn't seen each other in decades, my H says during their communications he was envisioning both himself and her as their younger selves.


excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 1003 | Registered: Jul 2012
woundedwidow
♀ Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally agree that age has nothing to do with the affair. At the start of his EA, late H was 67; his AP was 68 - and me? I was 53. It really did a number on my self-esteem to be thrown over for someone 15 years older than me.


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 396 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH's A:

WS-42
MOW-25

My RA:

WS-35
OM-22


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
namaste32
♀ Member
Member # 32848
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Both,me and my H were 31 at the time and OW was 46 at the time.This really hit hard on my selfesteem,to be thrown away for somebody so much older then me.

Posts: 185 | Registered: Jul 2011
stunnedin12
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beginning of affair (near as I can tell from truth and lies given)

WH 54
OW 34

ME - 44


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 477 | Registered: Jan 2013
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think it's age either. OW here is the same age as me-she was an easy target and fell for STBX like a stupid fool. He was fascinated by the likenesses that he thinks we share. Ewww.

I think it's as some of the posts say, with a person's problems they aren't working on or aware they have...with lack of boundaries, in this case...lack of standards...lack of empathy. Not thinking, acting on impulses and so on. I think these aren't age related, but qualities that people have or don't.

Also, could it be sometimes about what a person is willing to throw away or an enticement from sneaking?

It was very hard for me to realize that OW probably wasn't even thinking that STBX could have a family-she just believed his every word, as I used to.

I used to work hard at trying to find a definite reason, too, and I don't think there is just one.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
AussieMum
♀ Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's 50 - his first OW was in her early 30's.

His 2nd and 3rd OW's were old school friends so around the same age.

I'm 45. But as others have said, OW could have been any age as long as she paid him some attention and believed his bullsh*t.


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Adding to stats: when it started, OW was about to turn 40. XH was about to be 41 and I was 36.



Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
Happydays
♂ Member
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ExW : 32
OM: 35.

Me : 33


BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Nogoingback
♀ Member
Member # 38712
Default  Posted: 3:33 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WW was 32
I was 33

OW was 44

Yep I was the "young hottie" and OW was a frumpy older horsey woman. I used to refer to her as "Camilla".


BS 33
WS 31
together 10 years
DD 4/8/2011
EA/PA with co-worker while I was pregnant
Trying to reconcile

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." Nora Ephron


Posts: 66 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 77
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4

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