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User Topic: age of the AP
sadness1
♀ Member
Member # 32160
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When the affair started...he was 40 and she was 21

They worked together. He was her boss.


Posts: 139 | Registered: May 2011
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH was 42,the two AP's were 39 and 23. The 3 girls he tried to start something with were all about 21-22. I was 38..had turned 38 2 days before dday#1.

Because WH was active on craigslist,I spent alot of time looking through the casual encounters section..looking for WH..but also looking to see just *what* he was looking at. Over the last 3 years,I've averaged about a once a week visit to CL, just checking and making sure I don't see my WH(so far,so good ). There are more men who advertise in that section,and the men are of all ages..from 18-80. But the average age of the girls who advertise on CL(at least in my area) is about 22-24 years old.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7679 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His current MOW is 42, Asshat is 53. MOW's husband is 20 years older than her, she is his 3rd wife.


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. Kicked h

Posts: 615 | Registered: Mar 2003
twodoves
♀ Member
Member # 39181
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was 23 when he started cheating, i'm 28 now.

3 of the women he slept with were younger than me at the time he cheated

ETA when he started cheating he was 27

[This message edited by twodoves at 8:57 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December

Posts: 160 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Illinois
fooledbyapilot
♀ Member
Member # 26349
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

when affair started OW was 23 in her last year of university, and WH was 42. I was 39. I believe young girls are easily manipulated by older men and believe the crap they are told.


ME(BS):47 HIM (WS):50
WS Married 21 yrs together 33
dd#1- nov 16, 2009
DD#2-went out NYE 2009-found out Feb 2012
DD#2-Feb 5, 2010-date they had(found out Feb 2012)
dd#3 - June 16, 2010-broke NC
dd#4-Dec 31, 2010-broke contact
DD#5-Feb 21, 201

Posts: 187 | Registered: Nov 2009
jb3199
♂ Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fucked up has no age limit.

That says it all.


BH-47
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
dameia
♀ Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's more of a character thing than an age thing.

When I was in my 20's I was propositioned constantly by MM and I always said no. Of course, I was also M at the time, but even before that I would never mess around with anyone who was in a relationship. Wasn't even tempted, because I knew it was wrong.

The people who engage in A's are generally selfish and shallow. They don't think beyond how it makes them feel. They don't consider anyone else. Unfortunately it seems that there are more and more of those people in the world now. I think we have a strength of character problem, not an age problem.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.


Posts: 1168 | Registered: Jul 2012
selkiescot
♀ Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW was one yera younger than me. my Sisters WF is textinga 23 year old. Good Lord!


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1402 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On D-Day, I was 28, WxSO was 37 and OW was 33.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2257 | Registered: Feb 2010
sunflowergirl30
♀ Member
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The age of mow has bothered me a lot. Well everything about her and what they did bothers me. I do see that it was just opportunity on wh part. Sad but true. When wh had EA with mow he was 30 she was 43. I was 31. When wh began again and had PA with the same mow he was 32 she was 45. I was 33. Its about character, liars and cheaters in my opinion have none. Just as many "older" women seeking affairs as "younger" women. What they have in common? They are fucked up....


Together 21yrs married 18yrs
2 kids, now 19 & 16
Bw: now 38
Wh: now 37
Mow: now 50
1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010

Posts: 1079 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
mindbody
♀ Member
Member # 27941
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WSO's affair was on/off over a 4+ year span.

When the affair first began:

WSO: 55
MOW: 33

MOW gets separated: 34
WSO: 56

OW divorced: 35
WSO: 57

D-Day:
WSO: 59
OW: 37

I was 53 when the affair began, and approaching 58 when it ended.

Right after D-Day #1, WSO grappled with OW's age difference by 1 or 2 years- I knew regardless, we were talking about a 22 year age difference. WSO said that he talked with OW about their age difference as a concern. Now, I think he believes it was a way for him to discourage OW's plans of the affair becoming a real and public relationship.

The age difference was/is a concern AND the whole 4+ years should have been the biggest concern.


Posts: 306 | Registered: Mar 2010
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First OW was my best friend, we were all the same age... 30.

2nd OW was 2mos later, she was 22.

There was one I know of at least that was in her 40s.

Age didn't seem to matter to him, and as he dove further and further into his addiction, weight, hair color, beauty lost their value too. (All things that use to be VERY important to him.) He used to have "a type": thin, brunette, attractive..... all three of last years OW were blonde, 2 were overweight, all were disgusting looking.

At least it finally helped me come to terms with it wasn't me. The 22yr old really rocked my self esteem. She was very pretty, young, fit. His ex-W (another of the MOW) had a boob job (that he bought), so that was another hit to my self-esteem. Last year's OW left nothing to be envious of. Nothing. I finally realized I could've been a 20yr old Angelina Jolie, and he'd still have cheated.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH was 35. OW was 20.

She's now 26, a serial OW, with 2 OC to her name (different fathers).


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2312 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
wifeno2
♀ Member
Member # 31529
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All six of my WH's APs have been in their 20's. At one point he was too, but he just keeps getting older and the APs stay the same age.


Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DS-8
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

Posts: 696 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: the south
Butterfly7904
♀ New Member
Member # 38988
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was 32, my wh was 36 and the OW was 40. Age had nothing to do with it.


Me: BS 33
Him: WS 36
OW: 40 from Texas
Married 10yrs
3 DD's ages 4, 7, 9
D-day new years eve 2013
2 month PA and EA with OW from Texas

Reconciling


Posts: 40 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
leakingheart85
♂ Member
Member # 9710
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In 1985 my FWW first AP was a 15 (fifteen) year old boy. She had a total of 5 that I know about. The oldest was 24.

She was 44 years old.

I was 50 years old


Posts: 463 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: Caribbean
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH age when A started: 36
My age when affair started: 32
MOW age: 43.

Yup, not just older than me but 10 years older.

He needed that validation whereever he could get it, age be damned.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My exH was 33 and she was 24 (?). I am soon to be 29


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 640 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
jellybean22
♀ New Member
Member # 38732
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH is 38 and I am 37. His AP is 25 and engaged to be married in September. Messed up all around.


Me: 37 BS
Him: 38 WH
M: 11 years, T: 17
2 boys
DDay: 3/11/13
Status: In MC/R, Retrouvaille graduates

I'm not what I ought to be. I'm not what I want to be. I'm not what I hope to be. But thank God, I'm not what I used to be.


Posts: 43 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Limbo
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XH's main OW was 27, he & I were 39.

XH had affair w/my former friend, he was 37, she was 35, hideous and a lesbian.

All of the other ones, I have no clue. Suspicious that XH may have had A's w/former friends, just not sure. The only common denominator amongst all of them is that they are all mentally fucked.

Some are stupid, some are smart, but they are all incredibly needy and selfish, just like XH.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 764 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Topic Posts: 77
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