This morning I was basically begging him to give me some validation that I was in some way a decent wife before the A.
I had an employee that worked for me over a ten year period of time. He was a good employee right up to the day I caught him stealing from me. His "Loyalty" was no longer valid as a character trait.
That is what happened to me too. I cheated on my wife and could no longer be considered loyal.
It didn't matter that my employee had been with me for ten years, I had to fire him because of the cheating/theft.
My wife kicked me out when she found out about my adultery. I was no longer the man she deserved. I know I was a good husband and a good provider for 19 years of marriage, BUT, I no longer could be considered loyal.
It no longer matters what my history was because my lack of loyalty (my adultery) erased any metals, ribbons, or plaques I felt I deserved for being so good for 19 years.
I cannot rely on my past to "validate" me. My esteem is not able to be wrapped up in my past, it needs to be based on my actions today and each day forward. What am I doing today that is esteem able? What am I doing that gives me the ability to say that I'm loyal again? I know the answers to these questions for myself, but only you can answer for yourself.WH (me)
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin