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User Topic: He's absolutely heartless!!!!!
mj052
♀ Member
Member # 38495
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been a year since d-day for me. I did an earlier post this morning about when do you ever stop monitoring your wayward spouse.

I put a var in his car yesterday morning on a hunch and while I was listening- discovered a secret meeting between him and the mow!! It's very obvious they're kissing and going at it! They're laughing and joking like teenagers. During their meeting our youngest son calls his father- and she says our son's name. "Oh- it's Michael!" I felt like throwing up!

I texted my wh and told him that he needed to make arrangements to find somewhere to stay. Then I went to the bank and got a cashiers check for my attorney! Oddly- I'm not angry! Apparently- I wasn't the prize afterall and our 32 year marriage meant nothing to him!!

I wasted a year of my life in false r!! I feel absolutely numb inside!!! I guess monsters really do exist!!!


Trust is a fragile thing- once its lost it's gone forever!!

Posts: 248 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: mj052
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((mj052))))


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 594 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
mj052
♀ Member
Member # 38495
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The absolute worst- we made love this morning and he told me that he loved me!! It's all so bittersweet- we've been making love for over 33 years- and this morning was the last time!!!

Are these people soulless or what?


Trust is a fragile thing- once its lost it's gone forever!!

Posts: 248 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: mj052
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, mj! Honey? You ARE the prize honey. He's the idiot who can't see that.

(((((((mj052))))))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22712 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my gosh, how gut-wrenching! I'm so sorry. But I'm very proud of you for standing up for yourself and calling the shots now!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8792 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I imagine you are in shock. I am so very sorry, mj052. Don't be too surprised if you break down later as you are probably running on adrenalin right now.

FTG!!!! He is a heartless monster, and you don't deserve this.

Good for you on telling him to find somewhere else to stay and getting the check. Keep your resolve. You can do it. Post here for support and strength you are doing the right thing for you and your child.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 7:26 AM, June 8th (Saturday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8990 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry ! Your gut led you to the truth and now you will never have to live a lie with him.

Are these people soulless or what?

I think there are many that have none.

Then I went to the bank and got a cashiers check for my attorney!
Time to protect yourself. Cancel ALL credit cards with your name attached to the acct. Take half of all cash from all accts.Make sure your keep all transaction records so you can have proof if needed. Money disappears fast when the secrets are out. Don't ever think he will have your best interests in mind at all.

Big Hugs and I was informed of my false R in a very horrible way also.
gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so so very sorry.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 924 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Ladyogilvy
♀ Member
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are the prize. He wasn't willing to let you go. He just thought he could have you and everything else he wanted whenever he wanted it.

Now you will prove him wrong and he'll live to regret it.

Too bad they only learn when we are done. You obviously can't keep living thos way. Follow through with throwing him out. Pursue the divorce immediately. You know the drill.

I can only imagine how much this must hurt when you were so hopeful merely hours before.


Me: BW a youthful 49
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 56
Married 19 years
Two sons, 16 & 17 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1512 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, mj.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7254 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs MJ, you didn't deserve this. None of us did.
Your new reality is to take care of yourself. "First"
So sorry for your pain, but proud of the initiative you're taking!


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 552 | Registered: Jul 2012
Dare2Trust
♀ Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry.


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6084 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((mj052)))) I am so sorry.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
dameia
♀ Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry mj. His soul is as black and dead as his heart.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

"People who live in a glass house have to answer the door" -Karl Pilkington


Posts: 997 | Registered: Jul 2012
Nogoingback
♀ Member
Member # 38712
Default  Posted: 4:13 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry too (((mj))).
He will realise one day what he has lost. Hopefully you are well and truly in a better place by then. Without him.


BS 33
WS 31
together 10 years
DD 4/8/2011
EA/PA with co-worker while I was pregnant
Trying to reconcile

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." Nora Ephron


Posts: 66 | Registered: Mar 2013
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 4:28 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((mj))))

I'm so sorry for your pain. You are right - absolutely heartless.

Hang in there and get your ducks in a row. You are going to need all the strength you can muster. Lean on us here when you need to.

((((mj))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2509 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
crazynot
♀ Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 4:38 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a total kick in the teeth. I know exactly what you're going through. Just get yourself protected financially for now and treat yourself like china. You've had a horrible shock and no-one should ever be treated like this. Lean on your friends and family IRL and on us... this is the worst but (REALLY) it WILL get better.


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 801 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:14 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((mj052)))


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
stillhere09
♀ Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm so sorry, mj052.

I left a 20 year M before my 2nd M. Over 30 years, I can't imagine.

Sending you strength. You are doing the right thing.

Your numbness may be semi-shock. It may also be that you have been through enough emotionally and are simply ready to move on. It helped me a great deal to look ahead rather than look back at could-a, would-a, should-a' , remember-when, and if-only.


Look ahead. Exciting chapters of your life are in store for you.


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
Bravenewgirl
♀ Member
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh god, you are living my worst nightmare.

I will never understand how someone could be so cruel to a person the claim to love. These people are not capable of love, only selfishness. Unreal!

This man watched you fall apart from the pain of the A, watched you have the love and strength to give him another chance, and then he does it again!!! I am shaking with anger for you.

Get those bitch boots on girl. What a grade A asshole. He has really shit the bed this time.....let him lie in it.


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 657 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 24
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