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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I feel silly asking this
sicktomy
♂ Member
Member # 36479
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I've been using this "streaking app" to change myself for te better. You put in something you want to do every day and then at the end of the day you put an x if you were successful and the app tells you how many days in a row you are currently on and what your longest streak.
I know it's kind of dumb but it's worked well for me on working out, drinking water, not eating deserts etc.
Now I'm lloking for things that could make our relationship better so I am adding;
1. Initiate cuddling or similar every night - the hope is that eventually when ever we're in bed it's just natural and that's what we do (Pavlov's dog)
2. Share my feeling and triggers daily- I need to show her more emotions.

Please give suggestions if you have any but the only rule is that it has to be measurable. (Be a better person is not).
Thanks to anyone who answers this silly challenge but it works for me.


Me (WH - 37)
Her (BS - 35)zayda1
Married 7 years, together for 9
2 children (5 years & 2 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2012
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A gesture that you were thinking of her . flowers , grab dinner so she doesn't have to cook. Things like that maybe help at home like clean the restrooms or do laundry for her



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A gesture that you were thinking of her . flowers , grab dinner so she doesn't have to cook. Things like that maybe help at home like clean the restrooms or do laundry for her



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A gesture that you were thinking of her . flowers , grab dinner so she doesn't have to cook. Things like that maybe help at home like clean the restrooms or do laundry for her



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A gesture that you were thinking of her . flowers , grab dinner so she doesn't have to cook. Things like that maybe help at home like clean the restrooms or do laundry for her



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry don't know why my phone posted so many times



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
tryingtosmile
♀ Member
Member # 30979
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think it's silly at all.

WH packed my lunch for me the other day (something he never does). And he put a note in it that said I love you have great day hurry home xoxo.

IDK if that is what you are talking about but maybe leave her little love notes that let her know you are thinking about her.


B/S Me 37
W/S Him 37
OW Former Coworker OC born 5/11
4 DS 18,17,11,6 months

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: TX
wifeno2
♀ Member
Member # 31529
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you know her "love language" I would incorporate that. And apologize.

I would like it if WH knew, and recognized my triggers. Like if I had to drive to or past a certain place that day for him to ask me how it was. And apologize.

Recognize and express appreciation (genuine) for something that day. Something that was done, or just something about your BS in general. And apologize.

Did I mention apologize?


Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DS-8
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

Posts: 696 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: the south
ashamedWW
♀ Member
Member # 32507
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that's a great idea. I would love to know the name of the app. Is it called "streaking app"?


Married - 9 years
Children - 2
D-Day - March 2011

Posts: 53 | Registered: Jun 2011
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I LOVE stuff like that. H has been doing this consistently for months now (we both read the 5 Love Languages).

Any of the suggestions you rec'd are wonderful. How about - walk in the door every day next week bearing a small gift (flower, fav treat, card).

I don't want to threadjack this great post but wanted to address wifeno2

I would like it if WH knew, and recognized my triggers. Like if I had to drive to or past a certain place that day for him to ask me how it was. And apologize.

Perhaps just tell him what your triggers are. I have told mine. I also let him know what he could do to help me through them. Part of our past problem was not communicating our hurts so...I am making sure I do this.

LA

[This message edited by LA44 at 4:41 PM, June 6th (Thursday)]


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 1806 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
sicktomy
♂ Member
Member # 36479
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's simply called "streaking". But unfortunately I use a Blackberry PlayBook so not sure if it's anywhere else. It works well for a competitive person like me and I'm up to 16 streaks of things I want to do differently.


Me (WH - 37)
Her (BS - 35)zayda1
Married 7 years, together for 9
2 children (5 years & 2 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2012
cpacan
♂ New Member
Member # 35883
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know how far out you are, but I think that selfishness is key to a lot of betrayals.

So for me, it would be essential that you each and every day demonstrate your willingness to become less selfish - if it's your wish of course.


BS (me): 47
WS: 44
Together for 27 years...
2 kids, 12 and 9
DD: april 2011, 9 months PA

Posts: 15 | Registered: Jun 2012
Topic Posts: 12

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