Gently as I can because I tend to come across as gently as a sledge-hammer in a crystal shop…
When and if your then ex-husband and his new Pilipino bride set up home in Canada and start a new happy family then I would strongly encourage you to let your kids interact with them freely. As hard as it may sound then AFTER divorce it’s better that your children have a good relationship with both parents “new” families.
But right now… I smell a scam. I smell an angler that has sunk her hook into the jaws of a big fish and is now reeling him in. When and how she intends to land your husband is still way open. Does she intend to scam him off all his money right now, does she see him as her ticket to a visa in Canada, does she truly love him and this will be a modern-day Cinderella story and they be happy ever after? This woman might be the kindest, best woman in the world. But she could also be focusing on remembering all of her 15 “future husbands” and seeing whom she can reel in first. I simply wouldn’t risk sending my child overseas while the picture is still so unclear. I wouldn’t want to enable her to hold your DD hostage for the rest of WH funds…
And frankly… (this is me being gentle…) I don’t give a damn how hard the holidays will be for you if you need to be with all the kids. I have a feeling your in-laws will help you. I have a feeling you will get support. Have a feeling your mom would fly over. I also have a feeling that although physically this might be hard then mentally having your DD abroad will cause you even more hardship. (This is me being nice…).
You WILL manage. Why? Well… because you really don’t have another real option.
And about WH withholding your kids if you want to go back to family to visit… Don’t worry. Things WILL calm down and he will have to show realistic reason for his refusal. Revenge isn’t accepted as “reasonable”.
WS need to refinance is immaterial.
Once you separate his finances are not your issue. He will have commitments defined by the agreement and he needs to meet them. If he doesn’t then you need to have your attorney handle collecting the debt. If he’s broke he can take a freighter to the Philippines…
The “plus” for Canada is that there are Federal agencies that enforce CS payments. So if your WH doesn’t pay then there is a Federal hammer banging away at him and he can face actions such as wage garnishment, passport being withheld and so on. Once separated his ability to keep the house, his ability to meet payments… not your issue.
Blackhair – You are a lot stronger than you think. I KNOW you will make it fine out of this crappy situation.