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User Topic: lol!
Ladyogilvy
♀ Member
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH husband read "How to Help Your Spouse Heal After Your Affair" last night. He put it on the dresser saying he needed to read it a few more times. He even read the part where it praises "Not Just Friends," the other book I got for him. He commented on how he knows he's been stuck in the "detain and torture" phase and wants to get to the "successful reconciliation" level.

He caught me reading the book this morning and snatched it out of my hands. He said he didn't want me knowing all his lines come from the book and that he felt like he needed to write them on the palms of his hands.

It's been more than two years since DD most of which has just been surviving WH getting sober. After 40 years of hard drinking and 14 years of a crazy abusive family up until then, he really is emotionally retarded. But, at least he recognizes that now and is actually trying.

I know, if I hadn't turned into such a hardass, demanding more from him and refusing to let him rugs weep, he wouldn't have bothered making any changes. I have you all to thank for my bitch boots.


Me: BW a youthful 49
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 56
Married 19 years
Two sons, 16 & 17 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1536 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The bitch boots look fabulous on you!

I'm glad your WH is reading....it sucks that he's speaking in script from the book, but maybe he needs to keep repeating those lines until he understands them, and then he'll be able to speak on his own.


Posts: 3423 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I applaud you, LadyO, for sticking it out this long. Yeah, you are a badass with some damn fine bitch boots.

Your WH doesn't even know how very, very lucky he is that you are willing to stick by his side whilst he is getting sober and "growing" up.

I am happy your WH is at least taking baby steps and moving forward. I really don't think I could or would be as patient as you, but your WH is/was a very sick man. You are truly very special.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9844 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They say the most ridiculous things. FOO issues have nearly driven them to emotional infancy. The things a 50 something man can believe and say after 35 years together make me crazy. Bitch boots made me think of this gem...."if you had not been so nice and been a bitch I might not have felt free to cheat on you."

Yes, that came out of his mouth. Guess who is now a bitch to live with?


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1532 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
noprincess
♀ Member
Member # 38660
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you Lady!

My H is an alcoholic too and that alone is enough to push a M into D. Add infidelity and it all seems too unforgivable. I know how hard it is to live with a drunk. I know how hard it is to live with a cheater. I'm proud of you for finding your bitch boots and wearing them to kick some butt!

...now, can I borrow them, size 8.5?


"Never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

Posts: 138 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Ladyogilvy
♀ Member
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

People here warned me over two years ago. They told me to run, not walk to the nearest divorce lawyer. If I saw someone come here with a story like mine, I would tell them the same thing. Knowing that there would be hell to traverse with no guarantee of it being worth it in the end. I couldn't recommend the same path to anyone.

On the other hand, if I had gone the divorce route, WH may have drunk himself out of his business and into the gutter or prison, leaving the boys and I with nothing. Even WH believes this to be true. It is the direction he was headed.


Me: BW a youthful 49
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 56
Married 19 years
Two sons, 16 & 17 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1536 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love it Lady! Bitchboots are the best aren't they?


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to stand your ground, LadyO.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8112 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 8

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