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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Advice Needed Regarding Sale of House
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Background: After waiting over 7 months from when NPD PA STBX started paperwork for D I finally filed a counter and answer in court I was tired of waiting for any response from him of any kind. My L couldn't even get an answer from his L to her questions. We went before a judge on end of May.

That day the the first I had heard any settlement proposal details. One thing that was agreed upon we will be selling the house. It was also agreed that we would work together to sell the house. I said I would only communicate via email.

I thought using the realor who sold us the house would be a good option. Neutral for both of us. I sent two names of agents. I've heard nothing until today.

This was the email I recieved from an agent.


"opposing"

Thanks for meeting with me about your home sale.

Here is a report showing homes that have recently accepted offers or closed in hometown that are a similar style to your home. The average sale price is $$;... the other homes have the ... a listing price of $$ to $$ is appropriate with an expected sale price of $$ to $$.

Here are the homes that are currently on the market in hometown around this price range. The low number of homes for sale has been a major change in the market in the last year. This has helped shorten market times to 41 days in hometown.

Attached is a copy of the marketing services I provide. The next step would be to sign the listing paperwork. Then I can schedule the professional pictures and give you a detailed schedule for the marketing of your home. Please let me know if you have any questions. I look forward to marketing this home and working with you for a smooth sale.

This is not the type of communicating I want. Having things already decided. What I want to do is email my L and get her advice (costly). When I calmed down a bit I decided to ask here if I should just send him an email inquiring why I wasn't notified about this. I think either way this is going to blow up if he is just moving along and I'm just supposed to fall into line! I have no idea who this agent is I know his L suggested a few names and I'm not comfortable using someone she suggested!


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I read this I took it to mean that you liked either realitor and so you put the ball in his court to choose one of them.

Looks like he choose one, and gave your information to be emailed so that you stayed in the loop.

Unless this agent was not one of the two that you gave him.

If that is the case, then I would email him what your intentions actually are. IE, you will go together to meet with the realtor so that you are all on the same page, that the realtor know that due to the circumstances no decisions are to be made unless both people agree, and that you both play fair and nice.

IF this person is one of the agents, then I would email them back CC'ing your STBX and explain that you were glad that they got to meet, but would also need a meet as well, and would then work with everyone to get a good time to sit down and sign anything that needed signed.

I would also let the Realtor know what is going on upfront if they dont already know - it can get really frustrating for a realtor to be inthe middle when they dont know that they are.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1694 | Registered: Sep 2012
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Undefinabl3,
This is not an agent that I suggested. Which is why this is so frustrating!

If that is the case, then I would email him what your intentions actually are. IE, you will go together to meet with the realtor so that you are all on the same page, that the realtor know that due to the circumstances no decisions are to be made unless both people agree, and that you both play fair and nice.

This is exactly what I need is how to word what to say to him. I concerned about his reaction any way I say something to him. Also I don't know if I can be in the same room as he is.

I would also let the Realtor know what is going on upfront if they dont already know - it can get really frustrating for a realtor to be inthe middle when they dont know that they are.

Thank you for the suggestions.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well, i think your first step needs to be to email back the realitor that emailed you and let them know that nothing should be signed or agreed upon and give the circumstances. If your STBXH has already brokered an agreement, then you need to put a stop to it until you can talk to the realitor.

The next step would be to email your STBX with what you would be comfortable with.

1. We will both agree on the agent either by meeting agent seperatly and then agreeing, or together.

2. There will be no one sided communications with the realtor, all emails will be copied to the other party so that there is nothing behind backs.

3. Terms of sale will need to be agreed upon.

Ect.

The NPD part will be difficult, and that is probably where his picking of another realtor came into play - you gave him two names, so he NPD'd his way to a third one.

Quite honestly though - meet with this realtor in person, check them out, see if you can get some references. They may not be bad and after being filled in on the situation may be able to accomodate you and NPD man.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1694 | Registered: Sep 2012
HopeImOverIt
♀ Member
Member # 34517
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds to me like your STBX got a free no-obligation estimate from a real estate agent. It's clear from what the agent wrote that your STBX has not signed an agreement with that agent. Your STBX got the agent to do a little free market research to get some data on what the house might be worth.

When it comes to selling the house, you both want to get the highest possible price. So I don't see a reason to be inherently suspicious of an agent recommended by your Ex's lawyer. By contrast, in the situation where one party is buying half the house from the STBX, then you have conflicting goals in what you want from an appraiser. One party would want the price to be as high as possible, the other wants it as low as possible.

If it were me, I would go ahead and call the agents you like and get them to do a similiar "no-obligation" quote for you. This will let you compare their market research and see if it looks like they know what they are talking about.

And just like your STBX did, have "your" agents CC him with their market analysis.

If it were me, I wouldn't necessarily pick the agent who claims you will get a higher price. I would look for one who has a more realistic view of the market.


Me: BW (50)
ExWH: (51)
2 teen-age boys
Divorced

Posts: 254 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: PA
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew I'd get help here. Thank you!

Undefinabl3 I like your idea of checking the Realtor out. It's just so frustrating to see an email w/o him ever consulting me. Par for the course. Once again thank you for the wording for an email to him. I need to take the emotion out of it and be all business.

HopeImOverIt great suggestion about having my agents do some research. I'll do that.

Thank you.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
abigailadams
♀ Member
Member # 37556
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you the one living in the house? Because if so you are the one who will have to deal with the realtor. So it should be someone you can work with.

I am going thru this now where I am the one doing all the work to get our place ready to show. It doesn't feel quite fair that he is off with the GF and I am cleaning the house making it look great. If the realtor was a jerk I probably would go off the deep end. I feel lucky that the realtor we picked is divorced and knows something of what I am going through. She is also a sharp and will get the best price. I am confident of that.


Me BS 54
Him WS 51
Married 10 years together 13
DDay October 11, 2012

Posts: 134 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Brooklyn, NY
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

abigailadams I'm not living in the house. I finally moved out after enduring 7 months of in house separation! He is the one having to get it ready. Which feels totally fair since this was his bright idea!

I'm going to be speaking to the agent and let her know what is happening.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
Topic Posts: 8

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