It's an awful place to be in, but it sounds like false R to me. Cake eating, yes. Perv did that very briefly and discovered that he couldn't handle it emotionally and made more problems, if you can imagine.

I'm so glad you see the proverbial forest through the trees and it shows self-respect, as well, which I'm trying to get back.

Perv did that at times he was split from OW and when he solidified things, decided he was done here.

One thing that was excruciating was living under the same roof when he was pretending to R and fighting with OW because he was a wreck and took it out on me...we became just a situation for him til he went back-FWIW, I would warn to be very, very careful having him move back, even though can it's so nerve wracking and impatient feeling to wait.

I want the D done, and I want to find a nice man someday. I realize I do want that companionship of someone special

That's all I want too, Spelljean. (Replace "man" with woman.)

My WW shows absolutely no sign of remorse--never ever has--but has enjoyed thoroughly her two years of cake-eating. This bakery is finally closing. And is she pissed at me...

I appreciate all the comments and useful advice.

My best to everyone here.

He would need IC. MC puts emphasis that the problem is with your marriage. The problem is your husband, not your marriage.

Proceed with the divorce. (((spelljean)))