I know in my tag I have it listed as May 28th but that is actually the day I really learned the extent of what was going on. Today, one year ago, is the day I gave my STBXWW an ultimatum - either she quit her job and we see if we can even salvage this M or we're done. I then took our kids to the park for a couple of hours and when we got back I found she had hurriedly packed some things and she was gone. No goodbyes to me or the kids, no contact info, nothing. 2 weeks prior, I thought we had a pretty damn happy M
I'm not sure why I'm posting really. We're beyond done and I should be moving on. I filed for divorce and due to our local laws of a mandatory 1 year separation before divorce, I was told I couldn't have the divorce before today but that it could come now as soon as today or any day from here on out. STBXWW didn't even contest and is still happily with POS OM. (one good side note and karma ex: her and OM lost their business a couple of months ago!!!)
We're still before the courts for custody of the kids. There should be some kind of resolution fairly soon now. I'm sure I'll be posting more next week as I have a thing we have to go that will give a good indication of what way it's leaning.
She's still pulling her crap and doesn't seem to be thinking of letting up soon at all. I asked for the kids this weekend as I had something I wanted to take them too....of course she said no...then I find out when they get home that STBXWW and POS OM went away for the weekend and left my kids with babysitters the entire weekend! That bitch would rather leave the kids with babysitters than let me have them....and she's still looking out for #1 (no worries, L knew about this as soon as I did and I "accidentally" let it slip to the school too - where they are very quickly losing the last shreds of any respect they had for her).
But 1 year now? Wow! I wasted a lot of this year hoping that things would go back to normal. I've even been flirted with by a couple of nice women (MUCH to my surprise) but politely brushed off everything....I still feel married and I'm not really interested in any other woman except my WW....how twisted is that? Especially after everything she's done! I've posted some of it here and kept a lot of it to myself....but trust me, there is a long, huge disgusting list that any normal male including me should only have to read once and realize what a broken woman this is and want nothing to do with her.
These last couple of months I've really begun seeing her in a new light and realized that if my old dream came true, that she left POS OM and came home willing to do anything and everything needed to repair this M, that I don't want that anymore. That I CAN'T have that anymore. Maybe early on I could have got past this again....with ALOT OF WORK....but not after a full year and all the shit that's gone on.
But today I realize I miss the old her. I miss my M. I'm from a broken home and for as long as I can remember, I always promised myself I would never do this to my kids. I wanted my kids to be the 'weird kids' who's parents were still actually together and who didn't even have any step-parents....or a family tree that goes sideways or whatever
Well, I hope the first Dday anniversary is the hardest because this one kind of sucks. I'm trying to convince myself that this marks the end of the worst year of my life and that it only gets better from here on out. That's true, ain't it?!!
Thanks again to everyone at SI....I really don't think I could have made it through without you all. I know I haven't been posting much lately but I read just about everyday....and many, many of you have helped me without even knowing about it. Thank you again