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savvy (original poster member #39102) posted at 2:40 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
This is kind of embarrassing because I am really not this kind of person. I don't know if it is a normal reaction but here it goes. Ever since D-day I think about sex all the time. 
Does anybody else feel like this? I don't know why maybe I am longing for the closeness. I won't act on it..it's just frustrating. There I said it I needed to tell someone.
me-BS (52).
2 children 24 and 23
Together 33 years divorced one year
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce
FieldsOfLavender ( member #39154) posted at 2:44 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I think about it too, during periods of calm. Maybe because the "supply" is not there anymore.
stilltrying2025 ( member #39145) posted at 3:32 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Yup, I think about it all the time too! I agree with FieldsOfLavender, it's because the supply is gone. I don't like thinking about it all the time either....it sucks!
Me: 38
WH: 43
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Status: Separated
cali1002 ( new member #39270) posted at 3:35 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I think about it a lot too. It's weird. After D-Day a year ago, H and I had some of the best sex ever of our 14 year M. I was so mad at him, would cry when we were done, but some weird primal urge was going on. SI has a name for it, but I can't remember what it is.
[This message edited by cali1002 at 2:11 PM, May 24th (Friday)]
Me - BS 44
Him - WH 52
Kids - 11 and 12
DDay - May 2012
Married 14 years
In Reconciliation
NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 3:39 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I think you may all be experiencing symptoms of 'hysterical bonding.'
That's the intensely sexual period of time after a D-Day when your need to be intimate with your spouse is at an insanely all-time high, and you can't seem to get enough.
This stage doesn't last forever but most folks do seem to enjoy it quite a bit while they're riding that wave. 
Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.
savvy (original poster member #39102) posted at 3:46 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I guess I am not alone. But my Wh and I are separated so nothing happening between us. (wish it could) I just keep redirecting myself to do something where I can't think about it but its hard. thank you for making me feel not alone!
me-BS (52).
2 children 24 and 23
Together 33 years divorced one year
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce
cali1002 ( new member #39270) posted at 3:47 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I wish there were "like" buttons on comments, like on FB.
Me - BS 44
Him - WH 52
Kids - 11 and 12
DDay - May 2012
Married 14 years
In Reconciliation
Twitchy ( member #25393) posted at 3:47 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I missed that stage. DAMN IT!! 
BH(me)-57, FWW-Past,D-Day #1 - Oct 2007 - On-Line EA leading to a failed rendez-vous. D-Day #2 - Nov 2008 - In person EA caught early.
Away you will go, sailing in a race among the ruins.If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon. Gordon Li
allatsea ( member #38923) posted at 5:10 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I think women and men are different in this regard. I lost all desire for three months after d day. I lost the ability too. Couldn't get it up if I tried! Sorry TMI. I didn't get the chance to have any hb :(
Even now, (great Barry Manilow song BTW!) I'm not my usual self. Whenever it crosses my mind I get mind movies of ww and the op and that just kills it. I miss the female affection and contact though. I just want to be cuddled.
You can't fix crazy. All you can do is document it
Jada52 ( member #38984) posted at 8:51 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I miss the snuggling most of all, especially after we went to sleep 
Silly Slut, husbands are for wives - get your own man B*tch!
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:30 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Umm there is nothing wrong with taking matters into your own hands.
Sexual release alone or with someone causes a release of endorphins, can clear the mind, and make one feel better overall.
Enjoy celebrating who you are as a sexual being. Nothing wrong with it, and certainly no shame in it.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Lucky ( member #6864) posted at 11:18 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Hysterical bonding is/was awesome. 
♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥
Lostinthismess ( member #39210) posted at 1:26 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
I think one of the first things I googled after dday was about sex after an affair. I hated him but I wanted sex!! I'm glad there was so much info on hysterical bonding so I didn't feel like a freak lol. It was still a month before we had sex, but I thought about it ALL the time.
'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'
Shockleader ( member #36827) posted at 2:26 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
Totally normal, and nothing to be embarrassed about. Gotta say, there must be near final D anticipatory hysterical bonding; with a new person
... I have been finding myself feeling quite Randy lately, and it makes me 
... Nice to feel kinda normal again.
Good luck to you savvy.
D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 53
Xcheater... Who cares.
One DD 25
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!
The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...
savvy (original poster member #39102) posted at 2:35 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
Thanks for all the support. Just wish I had a chance for some hysterical bonding! But I threw him out. Can only hope for the future.
me-BS (52).
2 children 24 and 23
Together 33 years divorced one year
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce
savvy (original poster member #39102) posted at 2:35 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
Thanks for all the support. Just wish I had a chance for some hysterical bonding! But I threw him out. Can only hope for the future.
me-BS (52).
2 children 24 and 23
Together 33 years divorced one year
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce
savvy (original poster member #39102) posted at 2:35 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
Thanks for all the support. Just wish I had a chance for some hysterical bonding! But I threw him out. Can only hope for the future.
me-BS (52).
2 children 24 and 23
Together 33 years divorced one year
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce
Tiredofthepain ( member #37932) posted at 2:36 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
I have always wanted and thought about sex a lot, one reason it made no sense for my WS to cheat, but my problem is now I think about sex I used to have with previous guys. I never thought about sex with anyone but him, but his cheating has changed everything about me now. And yes, we also went through the whole HB thing.
ME-BS 48
HIM-WS 38
WS is SA, multiple visits to prostitutes.
Status: Hanging in there
I would rather be told a hurtful truth than a comforting lie.
allatsea ( member #38923) posted at 6:37 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
This thread makes me sad. WW always used to struggle with the fact that my libido was higher than hers. When I uncovered the affair she told me that her feelings for POS were not about sex but all of her emails between them were definitely sex, sex and more sex. She has had HB but not with me
You can't fix crazy. All you can do is document it
savvy (original poster member #39102) posted at 7:09 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
Allatsea
Sorry it made you sad! I would never want to add to anyone's sadness. My WH and I also haven't had any HB. He probably did with her,
It all sucks and is too painful.
[This message edited by savvy at 1:09 AM, May 24th (Friday)]
me-BS (52).
2 children 24 and 23
Together 33 years divorced one year
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce
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