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Newest Member: howcanyou (44619)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When they float the idea of maybe getting back together...
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How cruel can this X-es be?

I tried to fight for our marriage for almost 2 years. Tolerated cheating, abuse, blame shifting all in the attempt to save my marriage and family.

We have been separated for a year now, first we had in-house separation and then he finally moved out October 2012.

I am on the path to healing. Got my finances in order, are happier and stronger than in a long time and met somebody whom I really like and starting to open my heart to a little bit more.

And here is XH, NPD he is, and all of a sudden he is sending this test ballon via text if I ever saw a chance to repair our marriage?

I would rather stay on the bus and become a nun for the rest of my life than EVER touch him again. I have learned the hard way how soulless he is and why would he even think I would wnat to put myself through all this misery again? I can only explain the gull to even float the idea with him being NPD.

I find it to be just another cruel move on his part. Thank God I home come this far, I would have been much weaker just six months ago and maybe would have even considered such a proposal. Now it is Good Riddance, dear X.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My gut reaction...he heard you were dating. He can't have you be happy or have you move on.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2625 | Registered: Jan 2010
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

+1 to Chrysalis

And when you ignore or shoot down the test balloon? Well, that's pretty much an act of war.

Shields up, fraeuken.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24794 | Registered: Aug 2011
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and all of a sudden he is sending this test ballon via text if I ever saw a chance to repair our marriage?

A text is just a text; a passive balloon at that.

Look at his ACTIONS (preferably in your rear view mirror!).


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, Chrysalis nailed it on the head. Watch out for the fireworks after you ignore. And you should ignore - NC NC NC.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5032 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not responding at all. Crickets all the way.

He dared to enter my house today while waiting for the girls to get ready. He gave me the 'poor me' look. I had no emotion when I saw him other than to get him out of my house ASAP.

Can't wait to see the guy I am just starting to date tomorrow night. No drama, no poor me, no manipulation, just excitement for each other.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same thing happened to me when I started dating. He got a big resounding NO from me. Then he had the nerve to go to our adult children and tell them that he thought I would ALWAYS be there for him.

Guess he was wrong - again.

Sending strength and peace.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7669 | Registered: Aug 2005
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When they float the idea of maybe getting back together...

You respond with "NO TAKEBACKS!!!"


Or just don't respond.

Everyone I date knows that I think breakups are forever. Everyone I have ever given a second chance has used it as a fresh new opportunity to hurt me again. So I just don't do it anymore.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49468 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely shields up Fraeuken! Pigfucker had the same MO. He was happy as a clam until I started dating.

Sending you Mojo.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1008 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
newnormal
♀ Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My x told me during a child exchange that he would still "take me back" 2 years after the D, after I moved 1000 miles away, bought a house and got engaged. Take ME back? Dude! I left YOUR sorry butt for a reason.


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that he would still "take me back"

yeah give em a chance and they will take you right back to lying, cheating, misery and all around douchebaggery

no thank you i bought a one-way ticket out


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5784 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought you could post videos on here??? That didn't work ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Kh7nLplWo

[This message edited by Vulcanized at 8:30 AM, May 24th (Friday)]


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 738 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Vulcanized, LOL.

I am just ignoring it. I don't even want to validate his 'idea' with a response.

Instead I went to see my 'special' new friend last night at a Prayer Meeting, followed by a glass of wine and dinner at a beautiful bar with a view of the Pacific. Last night was spiritually and emotionally so fulfilling and rewarding, I would never ever want to go back to the despair and pain my XH brought to me.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, May 25th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds lovely, fraeuken. Glad you had a nice evening.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 738 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
LotuStrong
♀ New Member
Member # 39360
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Instead I went to see my 'special' new friend last night at a Prayer Meeting, followed by a glass of wine and dinner at a beautiful bar with a view of the Pacific. Last night was spiritually and emotionally so fulfilling and rewarding, I would never ever want to go back to the despair and pain my XH brought to me"

It's messages like that that give me hope for dating! As WS was first everything, I'm very scared at the prospect of dating !


There are far, better things that lie ahead, than any we leave behind.

Posts: 12 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 15

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