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Newest Member: spaceplease (45329)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: To all newbies
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO- from a BS in month 8

It will get better. Just give it time. I am in month 8 and the pain has lessened. It is so hard and bumpy. I know it seems like it will never end and you want to feel better NOW. Hold On

Happy days do come. They will last longer and the rages will be less intense when you get them. Even if the thoughts of the A are there everyday.

4 things of advice.

Get support,(especially from those that can relate) don't be afraid to air the dirty laundry. Affairs thrive in secrecy. IMO-the more who know, the more the A becomes a bad fairytale story for the WS.

R does happen if you are both committed. I am still working on it, but I feel and see a big difference since D-day.

Don't focus on keeping your WS or winning them. Focus on the M when you start to ask yourself if you want this WS in your life. When you realize you deserve better. Focus on yourself and finding yourself until then.

Vent, vent, vent to us. It does help and may give your WS a bit of reprieve too (I am not saying to let them off the hook, it just means that it makes R a little easier) We understand and will not get frustrated with you.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 10yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 946 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
sparklingwater
♀ Member
Member # 38792
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the post hopefulmother, it is good to get a reminder that things do eventually get better.


Newly single and trying to find my feet.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.


Posts: 104 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 2

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