SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am now in possession of many hundreds of emails between my WH and AP from a whole year of their A, up until April 2013. (Yes, I have read almost all of them now. They are long, disgusting, full of sex details, and more.) The thing that seems to have paralyzed me the most however, is the fact that they were picking out furniture, dishes, pots and pans, for their new rental house months before my son and I ever knew there was an affair to worry about! They go back and forth with email pics of couches, cabinets, armoires,bakeware, etc. There is talk about payments for said items, and deliveries etc. Setting up their perfect little world, I guess.

WHO does that??#@!!

It is galling.

It is sick and twisted.

I cannot believe the person I married is this dirtbag I see in the emails!

They were "dating" - going to fancy hotels, little bistros, concerts,arty coffeehouses. Making love in the rain, making out in churches, loving their lives together - for a year and a half! Waxing poetic and philosophical page after nauseating narcissistic long-winded page. All the while, we had NO clue at all what was going on. And even after DDay, when he said he was "working on our marriage" he was planning his escape from us for more months, and buying even more things for the new home with her.

Dirtbags. Both of them. :/

Thanks for letting me vent.

(((hugs))) I just wanted to let you know that you've been heard. The inhumanity and lack of basic humanity that these people exhibit sometimes just takes your breath and mind away.

I am so sorry.. I had a similar experience. My WH , DD and I were out for the day and my WH stopped to look at modular homes. As we were looking he walks away for a bit, calls her and then tells me its a work call.

Months later I find out that call was actually them arguing. He told her about the houses and she told him she's not going to live in a house that his wife picked out. He was with me looking at houses for them!!

How can people do these things?

((((RedWheelBarrow))) What a DBL!!!!! <douche bag loser, sorry!

You deserve so much better and OW is getting exactly what it deserves, a cheating, lying loser. They will never fully trust each other and chances are it isn't going to last very long at all. Yes, it is true that some of these relationships that start as affairs do last, but odds are against them.

Affairs die for the same reason as marriage, lack of intimacy.

If an affair replaces the marriage, it is subject to the same emotional stresses as the marriage but is twice as likely to fracture.

Those 2 quotes are from Dr. Holly Hein in her book "Sexual Detours".

Only about 10% of people marry their AP's. Of that 10%, eventually 75% will divorce. Yeah, their happily ever after I don't think is very realistic. It was all fantasy and honeymoon.

Why So Many Divorces?

Five reasons were cited for the high divorce rate.

Affairs relationships are usually protected from the stresses of everyday life. In fact, they can frequently be experienced as escapes from these stressors. Once every day reality intrudes, the relationship becomes much more difficult.

Guilt about the affair undermines the foundation of the relationship.

Lovers can develop unrealistic expectations about each other based on the “honeymoon” experience of their affair.

The partner who went outside of his or her own marriage is now not really trusted by the new partner.

Either or both partners can hold a distrust of marriage in general.

How sickening. My heart breaks for you.

In case of D...make sure your lawyer knows about all of the marital finances that were spent on OW...they may have to lose some things that are 50% YOURS! You may not get to file anything against her, but her cheating butt may have to testify to all the goodies she took from your WH that took away from you and your child. Sick Sick Sick

I am so sorry. What absolute despicable people!

Keep all the records. I hope you have seen a lawyer asap.

I do not understand people. There is just no excuse. If a person is that unhappy and wanting out, file BEFORE you start making plan with someone else.

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you will move on to better things. No one deserves this. And above all, please know that YOU had NOTHING to do with this. It is not your fault!!

Wow, that is cold. Get your attorney to add all that up and nail him.

Unbelievable...

(((RWB)))