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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 10
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude she even reversed the batteries in my remote to fuck with me.

I'd start by fixing the remote...doesn't she realize that it's playoff season in hockey and basketball? Sheesh.

After that, what Hopeless said.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3284 | Registered: Dec 2011
HoldingTogether
♂ Member
Member # 29429
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone else ever wonder about that?

That's something I've often thought about. FWW's former OM is LAPD and carries a handgun on him pretty much all of the time. OM was ostensibly my "friend" since high school so I'd like to think the fucker wouldn't have shot me in cold blood... Then again, I clearly never knew just what kind of person he really was, what he might or might not be capable of...

Still even if I grant that the fuckstick wouldn't kill me in cold blood; even if I give him the undeserved benefit of the doubt on that shit? Who the fuck can say what might have happened in the heat of the moment if I had caught them in some compromising situation? There were certainly plenty of close calls, risky behaviors on both there parts, when that shit could have happened. Who can say what might have ended up going down the heat of a moment like that? I don't think it an exageration to say that people end up dead over high stakes emotional shit like that EVERY FUCKING DAY. Hell people kill each other over way more trivial shit than that every day.

Shortly after Dday, when I would raise those points with FWW, she would always pooh-pooh them. "Oh, he would never have done anything like that." It took some time and alot of discussions to make her realize that she really couldn't say that for sure. After all you never really know what anyone might do. Right up until the day that POSOM made a move on FWW, if someone conjectured that he might try to fuck my wife? Either one of us would have laughed the idea off as too absurd to even get angry over. Up until the day that FWW crossed the line and started flirting back NO ONE, including she herself, would have believed that shit even remotely fucking possible.

So you just never know do you? You never know what someone might to in the heat of an intensely emotionally charged moment. So considering that;, it would seem to be at least a minimum expectation that my own fucking wife would avoid risking putting me into that sort of situation, with no idea, no warning, again and again, with a person who walks around armed to the fucking teeth at all times.

Would seem to go without saying wouldn't it? You'd fuckin think so anyway.

Took a while to get FWW around to this seemingly obvious realization. When she finally pulled her head out far enough to see it though? That shit hit her pretty hard; she was stunned and horrified at the risk she had put us all into. So I guess that's worth something. Not sure how much, but something.

HT


Me:BH 41
Her:FWW40(Walkinoneggshellz)
2 Beautiful little girls 13&10
Dday: 7/24/10 1yr EA turned 5 monthPA
"I gotta hole in me now... I got a scar I can talk about."

Posts: 337 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: New Life
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HT's whole post up thurr...^^^

In the first month or two after DDAY, I was pretty vocal about my full-fledged intent and/or desire to murder, maim, and/or torture the POSOM to my wife. I indicated exactly what and how I'd do it, and I bought a heavy bag that I kicked, punched, threw on the ground, kicked some more, elbowed, and hit with a softball bat. She told me she was scared because she'd never heard me talk/act violently like that...
...
...
...
...really?

After what you just did, you're the one saying you don't recognize me? Like HT said, I asked her, "How did you think I would possibly react if I found out?" As it seems to go with everyone's WW, she just said she never really thought about it. I cannot fathom that for the life of me, KWIM? I guess I can comprehend blocking that thought out when you're drunk and hanging out with POSOM, but what about those quiet moments when you're home by yourself, doing laundry, or dishes, or driving, or whatever....? Those times when your body is on autopilot and your mind wanders and pontificates, you know? You never once, not for a second, thought, "Hmmm, I wonder what might happen if [fp] finds out?" She said she didn't. I don't get it. I refuse to believe, that with all the thoughts that occur during seconds and minutes over the course of a day, you didn't take one minute to imagine how that scenario would play out? Because fuck the POSOM, going nuts, what about me? My wife left in the middle of the night *at least* twice to go to POSOM's apartment WHILE MY SON AND I WERE SLEEPING. I mean, how do you NOT think for a second, "What if they wake up while I'm gone?" In my situation, there was past evidence of a EA with POSOM, so if I had awoken at 3 AM and found my wife not home, I would've scooped up my son out of bed and headed right the fuck over there....how did she never think about THAT?


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1580 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
tfkeel
♂ New Member
Member # 19517
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it would seem to be at least a minimum expectation that my own fucking wife would avoid risking putting me into that sort of situation

Hmmm, I wonder what might happen if [fp] finds out?" She said she didn't.

Yep. That's it. That's the reason I have never, and will never, reconcile after an affair.

I simply cannot entertain the thought of being married to someone who has this little respect and regard for me and my welfare.


Posts: 37 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Pennsylvania
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

how did she never think about THAT?

Probably the same as my wife - she never thought she would get caught, so she never considered consequences. It boggles the mind, but then again, considering consequences would of burst the fantasy bubble I guess. Consequences for some people just aren't a deterrent - they do it because they want to and damn the consequences.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3284 | Registered: Dec 2011
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife said "fuck it"
Her words
And I'm usually armed. She put his life in danger and it would have cost me my job and freedom.

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 12:19 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude she even reversed the batteries in my remote to fuck with me.

Further evidence as to the level of her maturity.
All I can say is good luck. Just make sure you don't run off only to find out she's tied your shoelaces together next.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 419 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry late to the party . . .

WAL, I had no idea strolling through the Mojave promoted such deep thoughts. I may have to fire up my copy. Good stuff there. The part about grace . . .I never seen it described like that before. It was a good read for me at the place I am at.

My W offing me ? No. I don't know why, but it never crossed my mind . . . until now. My W loves crime stories too.

She was in such a bad place she had trouble seeing anything through to it's logical conclusion. I think most WWs share that trait.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2455 | Registered: May 2010
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Further evidence as to the level of her maturity.
All I can say is good luck. Just make sure you don't run off only to find out she's tied your shoelaces together next.

OMG defiled that is awesome! It is something she would do. I kid you not. She's like a child.


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone else ever wonder about that?

Exactly what I was talking about with my very first post.
Here I have a DB that is always armed, and the icing on top she later tells me he's on SWAT, joking to my wife more than once that he could just kill her to keep the truth from coming out. And she still kept contact with him after this, now that's a THICK fog.
And then she's surprised when we pull up to the gun store. Really? I get her to start talking about him and she realizes he's a narssastic DB that always told her he would do whatever it takes it keep his wife from finding out. It took getting the gun for her to finally admit that she doesn't really know what he's capable of. I said what kind of a clusterfuck have you got me and your children into? Once again the generic answer...Well I didn't think about it at the time. Great well that helps me sleep at night.
I often think what's to stop him from pulling her over one night, flip off the dash cam, and tie up loose ends. Or better yet pull me over since he obviously couldn't give two shits about what happens to his AP's husband or family. Being so close to Dday maybe the rage has got me a little reckless, but I kind of would like him to try.

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 12:49 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 419 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder how many BHs have been killed by OM and died without even knowing there was an OM.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exactly what I was talking about with my very first post.
Here I have a DB that is always armed, and the icing on top she later tells me he's on SWAT, joking to my wife more than once that he could just kill her to keep the truth from coming out. And she still kept contact with him after this, now that's a THICK fog.

Nope
It's the danger that attracted her.
The bad boy SWAT cop.
In reality the DB's chain of command would have hung him out by the ball bag if either you or her made a complaint. Which would have resulted in him being tossed from the team and in IA's office for conduct unbecoming. Seriously. He would be more scared of you. Once his wife found out it would have been easy for him to end up in a basement apt. Paying an ungodly amount of child support.
I know it doesn't seem like it but cops are human and most good cops seriously frown upon such a activities because in addition to their image other cop wives catch wind of this errant behavior and make their husbands account for why their buddy did that.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
dday3302011
♂ Member
Member # 32043
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder how many BHs have been killed by OM and died without even knowing there was an OM.

I hadn't thought of that before Sal. I know it's more than a couple. Poor bastards.

If you think about it though, the leap from having an A to killing someone to sustain that A is in many ways smaller than the leap from "no fucking way I'd ever start a relationship with a married woman" to having an A with a married woman.

I mean consider what you'd have to tell yourself to be able to go away on vacation with a chick who was married and had kids at home. To me it's insane. Even if she looked like Minka Kelly and fucked like Traci Lords, I'd be consumed with thoughts of betrayal, an awful sense of dread, and just general disgust with myself. It would be unbearable and it could never happen because of that. Doesn't make me a great guy, just normal.

Most AP's aren't. They have the time of their lives, fuck like rabbits, and revel in it. It's sociopathic behavior at it's finest. Fuck everybody else, fuck how it might hurt them, and fuck the consequences.

Point is, in a lot of ways, AP's are already in "fuck-it-all" mode during the A. It's not that much of a jump into more permanent decisions.


BH-41 (me)
xWW-42
M 11yrs, together 14
DDay 3-30-2011
2 kids, 9 & 7
1 yr LTA w/MOM
Divorced 5-16-2013

Posts: 235 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Northeast
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder how many BHs have been killed by OM and died without even knowing there was an OM.

I'd be one of them. Dunno if i'd have preferred that to this...


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

how did she never think about THAT?

They just don't think in the middle of that. One of the things my wife told me, right in the first week after dday was "You have to understand, you weren't ever supposed to find out. I was going to take this to my grave." I don't think I actually said 'duh' out loud but it must have been on my face because she came back to tell me she realized how dumb that was.

If they were thinking about this stuff it's a lot less likely it would have even happened.

Heh. I started obsessing over NV again recently because I wanted the rest of the steam achievements. I don't think Wasteland 2 or the Torment sequel are close enough to stop me from getting them either.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7086 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SG-

Wasteland 2

I am still a little wary of any game that was crowd-funded. Or whatever that is.

Rumor has it a new Fallout is in the works. Keep your fingers crossed.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2455 | Registered: May 2010
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Most AP's aren't. They have the time of their lives, fuck like rabbits, and revel in it. It's sociopathic behavior at it's finest. Fuck everybody else, fuck how it might hurt them, and fuck the consequences.

Exactly dday. My WW's AP pursued her relentlessly until she gave in. He knew she was married and had four kids. He had to know that his advances, if successful, would put her marriage and her children's intact two-parent home in extreme jeopardy, but he just didn't give a shit. He wanted to screw an attracive woman, after all. And as it turns out, she didn't give a shit either! Sex with this man was worth more than staying married to me and keeping our home from breaking up.

Which is why it's hard to trust her efforts at R now. This garbage is going to take a lot of time to sort out.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 2:30 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone else ever wonder about that?


I'm pretty sure that is the reason I don't sleep well since dday-gotta keep one eye open at all times.

How come some guys get wives that they can actually trust, and even be "better" with them by working as a team?
And how come I didn't/couldn't pick one like that?


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5358 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

most good cops seriously frown upon such a activities

Most cops are good people, know plenty of them and maybe even a few I would consider friends. I have a tremendous respect for what they have to deal with daily. Hell won't pretend I would want to do that.
There's just one in particular that I hope gets Salmonella from his egg-salad sandwich today. Maybe a strange case of Ebola; is that really asking to much, getting Ebola from an egg-salad sandwich?


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 419 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rumor has it a new Fallout is in the works. Keep your fingers crossed.

If there is then it's Bethesda and not Obsidian, which means I'm not interested. Not much of an ES fan whether it has swords or guns.

Wasteland and the new Torment are kick-starters but they're mostly the teams of people that did the games we like.

http://www.pcgamer.com/2013/03/29/chris-avellone-interview-torment-project-eternity-and-beyond/

Though I do share the wariness, it's hard not to get excited about it.

Sorry, didn't mean to steer off course again.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7086 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
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