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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Having a hard time not responding to this text this morning.
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From XH:

"Happy Mothers Day. I hope you enjoy your day with the boys. There is a card in DS's backpack if you haven't seen it."

Dear XH:

"Thank you. And thank you so much for walking out on me and making me a single mom. Every.girls's.dream."

"Thank you for all the pain and heartache you caused me and the kids. I hope having the kids make the card alleviated some of your guilt (if you're even capable of feeling guilt)

"Thank you. And thank you for walking out and abandoning me with a 6 and 3 year old 3 years ago. That was sooooo much fun."

"Go to hell"

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

Ugh......so many choices and oh so tempting.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahh, yes it would feel wonderful to send those replies (each and every one!). Being a single mom was something we had actually discussed- and the Dooosh knew it was something I never wanted to be.

But there are a lot of things he knew I never wanted to be - like the wife of a cheater, married to a liar, dealing with a man without morals to name a few!!

But your best response is crickets. Just don't send anything. These assholes don't deserve another thought from any of us.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

POS sent me a text this morning with a "Happy Mother's Day." I responded with a civil "thank you." However, I would like to have responded with some of your thoughts, in all reality. Little does he know I have no intention of sending him any such sentiment for Father's Day.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1199 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I'm not going to respond. Not even with a thank you. I just can't bring myself to thank him for anything.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's getting crickets from me for his well wishes this morning. I spent over $100 in lawyers fees sending them his emails refusing me today since he normally has Sundays. I had to go through lawyers to even have my children today, so fuck him and his "Happy Mothers Day."


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, I got one of those too.

I wrote back, but not for hours. I said, "Thank you, I'm having a great day!", even though I am in hell in my mind and sick and achy...the grief is huge today...and just want to be alone...he doesn't have to know that, right?

On my birthday, I got the same message and where was I at the time? Leaving meetings with L. But I wrote the same thing and no more.

I know not all of you will agree with it, but I could answer that way and he didn't have to know how I really felt or was doing-it was an idea IC has that also saves being accused of not answering, which I get too.

Yes, I very much wanted to add some "sentiments" as R N' B said in the start of the thread. Hard not to.

And you know what I get if I am the slightest bit rude? The Pity Party. He's captain of the team.

He told me after mediation, "You hurt my feelings!"

So I answered, "Well, why were we there anyway?" and let it go at that. What I know about myself is, if I don't answer, these are the things that remain in my head for long periods to come.

I spent my whole life being polite and a doormat, but with him and M I tried having an opinion because we were supposed to be "equal" in M, right?

So now a feeling I have is that I don't want him thinking he got away with anything, which of course he does. It's a lot like going through DD's fits and that feeling of absolute frustration: "I will not lose it, I will not lose it, I will not lose it..." as I watch her pucker up and get herself ready...that feeling of being so pent up I'm gonna blow~

It's amazing really, these people we all loved and had long years with now making us feel like this.

On his occassions, I would like to write and give some sentintments like Rn'B lists, "Hope you have the worst day Ever" and so on..."Hope you get a flat tire".

DD is into making those folded pieces of paper, where you write numbers and colors and fold them over and tell a fortune inside. Does anyone remember those?

I was thinking yesterday while having my fortune read that there should be one for cheaters, along the lines of the "sentiments" here. I sat and snickered all by myself about it in a big room full of company.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2289 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just sooo badly want to say, "Thank you!! How sweet of you to wish me a happy mothers day! Being a single mother is EVERY GIRL'S DREAM!!! Thank you so much for all you've put on my plate. So you soooooo fucking AWESOME!"

Someone might have to tie my hands today.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine also sent me a "thanks for being a great mother." I am usually NC on things like that, but I sent a terse "Thanks" to keep things as civil as possible between us. I would have liked to have written many other choice words myself, though.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

**Crickets**

FTG


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
jk5366
♀ New Member
Member # 39140
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sometimes it's best not to say what you really want to say, just to keep things civil.
instead of texting back what you really want to, write it on a piece of paper, seal it in an envelope, then light it on fire and let the ashes blow away. it still gets written and "sent."


This sucks.

Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: MI
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What? I'm shocked that you all got even a text!! For real? But when I think about it, any acknowledgement is just as empty as no acknowledgement. They just don't have a fucking clue.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I'm not really going to say any of those things. That's why I'm saying them here. This is what he's getting instead in STB's words:

***crickets*** FTG

I want to end my text (that I'm not going to send) with:

"And I'm soooo glad that by walking out on my you got the happiness that you "deserved" thank you for pursing you happiness at my expense!!! What a rockin husband you were!"

It seems so hypocritical and insulting to treat the mother of your children like a piece of dog shit and then wish them a happy mothers day.

F.T.G!!!!


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems so hypocritical and insulting to treat the mother of your children like a piece of dog shit and then wish them a happy mothers day.

This... for reals. Very hypocritical, and extremely insulting. I didn't get a text (not that I was expecting one - not in this lifetime) and I'm glad I didn't have to decide whether I wanted to send a "Thanks" - or a "FU" message.

:) Hope you are enjoying your day! I sure am!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't get a Mother's Day greeting. My kids got texts from him yesterday, asking if they had plans for me. They both told him they had to postpone because they are waiting to be paid. Since he did not offer any assistance, I guess he was just making sure my day was going to be as crappy as it would be if he were here

(My kids are great, and it was not crappy. But why text your kids to see if they've got Mother's Day covered if you're not going to offer to help? Weirdo.)

I DID get an email from him--a diatribe about his horrible financial state.

He's been very generous with support. I thought it was because he was working to be a better man.

Silly, silly me.

He HATES me. He resents the hell out of paying support. And he outlined a plan, today, for withdrawing most of it over the next few years.

And topped it off with, "I told you three years ago you couldn't afford to stay in the house without me."

Happy Mother's Day. Told you so.

Lovely man. I am so glad he's out of my life.

(And I did respond to him, but edited myself very, very carefully.)


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8849 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
PurpleBirch
♀ Member
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it would be hard to respond to that text with the awesome responses listed because you have to coparent with this person (unfortunately). I know lots of people who document every.single.thing. in regards to communication with their ex, so a bitchy response could be bad for the future.

When someone pisses me off, and I know I shouldn't say anything, I pretend I'm the Queen. She wouldn't stoop to WH level (or if she did, it would be so much classier).

[This message edited by PurpleBirch at 8:07 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]


Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner


Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
Jayne Doe
♀ Member
Member # 32664
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I couldn't hold back - especially since he is fighting hard against have to pay alimony.

So when I got my text - I responded with a simple F U.

I couldn't hold back this time. Not when he is putting me thru attorney HELL.


Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

Posts: 1454 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Suburbia, Arizona
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't understand what goes through their mind when they do things as if they didn't royally f* up EVERYTHING.

I got a dozen roses, a box of chocolates and a "thank you for being a good mom." Wonderful gifts until I think about the hell he put me through in the last 6+ months. Those gifts were for him to feel good about himself and had nothing to do with me.

What I wanted to say:

"Please come pick up these flowers and shove them right up your ass, thorns first!"

What I said:
"Thank you."

And now I'm back to having as little contact as possible with a man who seems to think that random kind gestures should make up for being a remorseless cheater who is probably only paying me this much attention because who he *thought* was my replacement is off living her own life without him.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
SweetheartVixen
♀ Member
Member # 4956
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the responses that should be sent.
I got roses! What the ___! We are getting D'ed~! I guess since he left me with no funds he now feels guilty. And maybe hes lonely since his OW got kicked out of the park he lives in,lol.


BS/60s WS/60s Divorcing and not soon enough~!
Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice...

DD 6-14


Posts: 3102 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: somewhere over the rainbow
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My personal response, and I cannot claim credit for it for someone far wittier than I first said it, was Fuck you and the Whore you rode in on.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
sunshine226
♀ Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no text or phone call for me this year, but he was a day late with christmas, new years and my birthday so who knows what will happen tomorrow

He says he cant call or text cause OW is always around, yeah right, surely she wouldnt have mind a Happy mothers day text to the mother of his children

this day was all about her and what she could get out of him today, he didnt make her a mom, 2 other poor unfortunate men had that horrible task, and where are they????? Long gone, and they never looked back from what i hear


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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