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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Awkward situation today...Glad that's over!!!!
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Frustrated  Posted: 1:04 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SO...a lot of you know that things have been really tight for me money wise... and it has gotten to the point where I've had to sell things on Ebay just to make ends meet. My daughter's sperm donor hasn't helped me since December and I finally got to a breaking point (possibly also just a pissed point to be honest!) These men that are deadbeat dads give real men a bad name!

I made a difficult decision and decided to contact Social Services and have them go after him for child support. If he refuses to be in her life, the least he can do is help me. So.....today... I go down to the appointment for the paternity testing (cause he is not on her birth certificate as he was not at the hospital when she was born)...and he was there with his mom.... AWKWARD! I totally didn't think they would be there at the same time as me.... and he decided to just sign the papers acknowledging paternity instead of taking the test (only because his mom didn't want to pay the $200 fee for the test I will bet!!)

When he took my daughter to hold her...she immediately started crying.... THAT'S MY GIRL!! He hasn't seen her since the beginning of December! She doesn't know who the hell he is!!! A goblin with facial hair as far as she is concerned!!!

My sister took her and asked his mom if she wanted to hold her and she glared at both of us and sneered NO! She gave us both the most evil look I have ever seen in my life!!! Heartless BITCH!

I think that hurt me more than anything... that she could act that way towards an innocent child. Its one thing to hate me....but to be that way towards Piper was uncalled for. The social services lady witnessed it and said it was her loss!

He is ordered to pay me the bare minimum of $65 a month since he has been unemployed for the last 6 months. He was told to notify them when he gets a job....YEAH RIGHT! It will be a cold day in hell when that happens!! Oh well... I'm just glad he will at least have that monthly reminder out there that he has another child that he is neglecting. And, at least I don't have to deal with him directly about it. And, as far as I can tell.....his mom wants nothing to do with her and she was the only person that would have fought for visitation rights. But, I suppose only time will tell.

I don't know if I made the right decision, but things have been really hard....and I think that since it took 2 to create her....it should take 2 to help support her!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
want_to_forgive
♀ Member
Member # 20470
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if I made the right decision, but things have been really hard....and I think that since it took 2 to create her....it should take 2 to help support her!

You absolutely made the right decision! Dead beat dads make me so ANGRY!

I had an unofficial arrangement with my DD's father for about 4 years, then he quit paying. It took me another year to turn him in because I felt "bad".

He never paid through the state, and it got to the point he owed me $19,000. At one time not long ago I was texting him and begging him to tell me where he was working because I needed child support to take her to the dentist

The state finally caught up to him, found a bank account and swept $17,500 out of it.

My DD is graduating HS in about two weeks, and now I have a nice little nest egg to help her with college. I never would have gotten that money if I hadn't turned him in. It takes TWO people to create a child, and they deserve to have two people support them.

I'm proud of you Shelly!

As for the Grandma... What a selfish B*TCH!


M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

Posts: 534 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Alaska
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay for Piper ! Abosolutely she does deserve to be supported by two parents !
There are deadbeat Dads but just as many Moms. Kudos to the parents that support the children they help bring into the world.

Oh, they have ways to find out where and when he starts working again. It's pretty hard to hide once they are onto him.

You are going to be OK !
Hugs and I was a single Mom for 9 yrs and only received help when DD's Dad died. It sucks to work 2 jobs to support yourself and a child. Not fair to the kids that is for sure.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As for the Grandma... What a selfish B*TCH!

I agree... it saddens me for Piper..but she has a lot of love and support from my family and friends! So, SCREW THEM!!!!

I agree that deadbeats come in male and female form. I have given him every chance to visit her and ask about her and have never kept her from him...but he has CHOSEN not to see her since December 11th...so no wonder my child screamed bloody murder when he took her from me....

Besides....I think small children and animals can sense evil....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think small children and animals can sense evil....
Me too !!! I bet on Piper's intuition.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you Shelly! Even better for Piper too.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1361 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Bluebird26...

$65 a month is nothing really and I know he will try to work "under the table" to avoid getting it increased.... but at least he will have that monthly reminder of what a douche he is....

And, $65 is better than nothing considering how every little bit seems to count these days....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
willowiris
♀ Member
Member # 5372
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My sister took her and asked his mom if she wanted to hold her and she glared at both of us and sneered NO!

WTF kind of grandmother is this!? What a BITCH. Really!?


D-day 09/2004
Filed for divorce 9/2006

We accept the love we think we deserve. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."


Posts: 12326 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: Margaritaville
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WillowIris....

She wouldn't even LOOK at Piper!!!! Wouldn't even freakin LOOK at her!!!! It broke my heart for my daughter! It really did! I wanted to pounce on that woman and cry all at the same time. She is just a horrible heartless bitch....

You know what is even more sad than that?? My OWN mother has not seen her since late March! She has only seen her maybe every other month and has NEVER watched her for me once! She hasn't been to my house to visit her since she was a week old! She just turned 9 months old! I swallowed my pride back in March because I needed someone to watch her for me for a few hours and my friend couldn't do it and I asked my mom how much she would CHARGE me to watch her own granddaughter....because she had stated to my sister that she feels that she should be paid to watch her....and her response was that due to hip and shoulder pain...she can't watch her...EVER.

Needless to say.....I haven't spoken a word to my mother since that and that was probably the beginning of March. My sister took Piper to see her in late March TO HER HOME for maybe 30 minutes or so and Piper cried when she held her.... My mom asked my sister what was wrong....and my sister said.... "She doesn't know you mom..." How horribly sad is that????

Luckily....Piper has two other women....one is my sister's best friend and one is my friend/Piper's Godmother's mom who have stepped up to the grandmother role and spend time with her....

I am just thoroughly APPALLED by the lack of involvement of her blood grandmothers....and it does break my heart.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:48 AM, May 9th (Thursday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She won't look at Piper because Piper is a reminder of how much of loser her son is. Has nothing to do with Piper.

That said, I don't really understand. My kids are only 8 and 10 and I LONG for the grandma days were I can spoil and love and hand back the baby/child at the end of the day


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear ya, Shell... it's pretty much just me and the bunch, plus I'm in year five of zero CS. I don't know how any of these people sleep at night.

Piper is one lucky baby girl... because she has YOU.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15415 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Topic Posts: 11

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