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Newest Member: betterneverlate (44986)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: An Update......
exhausted lady
♀ Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been up to my ass in alligators lately, but thought I'd check in with my SI peeps and let you know that all is well (mostly).

The last you heard from me, I was going on a "first date" with a guy that I'd been shooting pool with for months. First date was awesome, followed by more dates and he hasn't raised one red flag with me yet. Whew! So, we are seeing each other - a lot - and still shooting pool in the same tourneys. I beat him both Tuesday and Wednesday night and he's still speaking to me. He's a big biker teddy bear, and he also cooks and I caught him doing the dishes the other night. WooHoo!

On a more somber note, my dad had surgery last Friday on two tumors. One on his left elbow (huge), and one in his left armpit (huger). We go back to the doc tomorrow for the pathology reports from the armpit thing - it was a lymph node and it was grapefruit-sized. I'm not feeling too good about this situation, but I'll prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I could use a little SI mojo for my dad.

I'll check in when I can. I hope everything is going well for y'all.....I'm doing okay with the stress level (teddy bear biker guy is helping a LOT), but I'm pretty worried about my dad.


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((el)) sending positive thoughts and mojo for your dad, and peace and strength for you.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12150 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keeping you and dad in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad you have a little diversion too


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20181 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mojo to you and your Dad. ((exhausted + Dad))


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5142 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's good to hear from you and about your new honey.
Best to your dad in recovery.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending good thoughts for your dad--I sure hope things turn out for the best. Hang in there.

And---so glad to hear about your biker-bear! Sounds like lots of fun! Yea for you!!


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2114 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
MyVoice
♀ Member
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((exhausted lady))) yay for your man and good luck to your dad xx


Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 470 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending mojo for you and your daddy... and smiles for your biker-bear. Those are pretty cool.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 5:39 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear about the new dude in your life!

I'll keep your dad in my thoughts... Fingers crossed!

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5976 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((el))) So good to hear from you lady.

So glad your teddy bear biker guy is there for you during this time with your dad. Positive mojo for your dad. Keep us updated.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4531 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
survivor_kh
♀ Member
Member # 33738
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Lady! Glad to hear things are going well with teddybear.

I'll be keeping your poppa in my thoughts. My friends dad had a large mass removed from his neck a little over a year ago. The treatment(surgery, chemo, radiation) was really agressive. My thoughts are with you and your family throughout this. please keep us updated.

also sending you lots of hugs!


Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou

you is kind, you is smart, you is important


Posts: 297 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
exhausted lady
♀ Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well.....the news on my dad is not good. Lymphoma, and it's pretty much spread throughout his lymph system. He's 85, and already pretty weak. We had a family talk about the options yesterday, and I told him it was HIS decision on what treatment he wants and that my daughter and I would support him fully whichever way he decides to go.

Knowing my dad, he's going to refuse treatment and go for quality over quantity. If I were in his shoes, that would be my decision. I have a feeling he wouldn't survive chemo anyway, and it would make him miserable.

So, I'm gonna be MIA for a while. I'll check in when I can.

My teddy-bear biker guy has been my rock. We haven't been together very long, but he has stepped up to the plate in a big way. My dad is a big man, and my bear has been helping lift him and get him in & out of the car for medical appts. He's been pitching in around here like crazy....doing laundry, cooking, the whole nine yards. From his actions, I think this dude is on board for the long haul. If I wasn't so stressed about my dad, I'd be doing backflips! We just seem to "fit", ya know?

I think I finally found a real man, with a big heart wandering around loose (and single) in the wilds of Colorado. Who woulda thunk it???

I'm aware that starting a new relationship during a very stressful time isn't ideal - and I've talked to my bear about that - but we communicate very well and that seems to be working in our favor. I think he's one of those guys that doesn't need to be the center of my attention 24/7, and that's a refreshing change for me.

When I hear him pull up on that bike, I get a big smile on my face and my heart feels happy, and I know I'm gonna get a big ol' bear hug.


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry about your father, hugs to him, you and the rest of your family.

As for starting a relationship with all of this craziness, I've been there, done that w my SO. We had only gotten serious (exclusive, ILU, meet kids) for about a month or so before his father was diagnosed w gall bladder cancer. And while his life (our lives) were put on hold for over a year, it did bring us much closer. Try, try, try to nurture yourself/yourselves through this and keep up with the communication.


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1246 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EL I am so sorry to hear this bittersweet news.

If it were me at 85 with that diagnosis I think I would take myself off to the most beautiful place I could find and go into hospice.

Big huge hugs.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17396 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
exhausted lady
♀ Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it were me at 85 with that diagnosis I think I would take myself off to the most beautiful place I could find and go into hospice.

I really think that will be my dad's choice, and I will fully support that choice. Luckily, we live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, and this ranch has been my dad's slice of heaven for almost his entire life. I am going to bust my butt to keep my parents in their own home through all this. We have a wonderful Hospice program here, and I'm praying that he can end his days in his own bed surrounded by our tight little family.

These circumstances have kind of put my relationship with my bear on a fast-forward. Faster than I'd normally be comfortable with. But, I need help. There, I admit it. His place is about 20 miles away, so he's been staying here so he can provide some muscle and moral support (and I've been needing a lot of both) He brought his dog, and enough stuff to be comfortable, and he jumps in and actually looksfor ways he can help. WTF? I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.

I've known this man since last fall when he first moved back here. He and my grandson were buddies (shooting pool) for quite a while before he ever asked me out. I think my grandson might have even given the Bear a "heads-up" to ask me out because I know I was giving off non-dating vibes.

So....stay tuned. I really appreciate all the good mojo from my SI peeps. My dad has always been my rock in life. Maybe since I'm losing him, the universe decided to bring me a new rock. Bittersweet is a very good description.

I'm going to take millionpieces' advice to heart and make sure I take a mental break from illness to focus on my own stuff every day. Create a little bubble to enjoy the beauty around me, and a wonderful man.

Now, if I can find time to ride my motorcycle, my sanity just might survive.



Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
survivor_kh
♀ Member
Member # 33738
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lady, You are a truly wonderful woman. You deserve wonderful things in your life. Lots of love!!


Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou

you is kind, you is smart, you is important


Posts: 297 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 16

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